My boyfriend said he would break up if I can not lose my weight, what should I do?

[Artandthom]

I am 155.8 cm. and my weight is around 68 kg.
He said he would break up if I can not lose my weight cause he want to have a girlfriend who is beautiful inside and out side.

I asked him what will happen if I got fat after married , he said we will break up with me.
I told him that I can gain weight after being mom or when I get old so he said he will help me to lose my weight.

If he insist on doing this I will consider about breaking up, cause I do not want to spend my life and being in relationship that make me feel insecure in love.

What is your opinion about this?

Updates

1 y

He also said if I can lose my weight I can ask him to do anything like to
stop drinking or smoking or anything.

so I told him that "I will not take responsibility to any body's health, it is your duty to take that responsibility. I can tell you to stop smoking or drinking, if you can not do it I will not control you , I do not like to control people" and I never told him to stop drinking or smoking cause I trust him that he will not drink or smoke too much.

Updates

1 y

PS. I do not mean that I will not lose my weight , I am trying to lose my weight.
It is just I can not confirm that after losing my weight I will not get fat again at any point of my life so that makes me feel insecure about our relationship.

Anyway I know that one of the most important thing is trying to be healthy for myself and I am on the progress of losing my weight for being healthy

I really appreciate and thankful for all of comments.

[Anonymous]

Being in a relationship means recognizing that your partner's thoughts and feelings are just as important as your own thoughts and feelings. You are currently on the borderline for being not just overweight, but obese! Let's cut out the niceness and tell it like it is: you are fat! And that is not attractve to him.

If you simply want to tell him that he can't control you. . . I suspect that he already knows that and doesn't need you to prove it. There are some things in relationships that are deal breakers and are often the subject of such ultimatums. The usual problems are alcohol, drugs, gambling, being fat, smoking.

Maybe it isn't JUST about the fact that fat is ugly to most people. Fat people die younger and have more health problems whle they are still alive. Perhaps he doesn't want to become a widower at 50. Ot maybe he's disappointed that you aren't already dealing with this.

So, if you want, throw a bitch fit, tell him he can't control you, and maneuver this relationship into a break up. He'll get over it, move forward, and find someone more fit and more attractive. Will you?

[Artandthom]

Yes, He mentioned that he want me to be healthy but mostly he said want me to lose weight because of he want me to be in a good shape he love beauty woman , he said I have a good heart , beautiful face but not in a good shape.
PS. I myself also trying to lose weight for being healthy

[Opinion Owner]

So you are rebelling because you just don't want to feel that you are being controlled?

[Artandthom]

As I said I am also trying to lose my weight for my health , but he want me to lose weight cause he love to have girlfriend who is in good shape (he talk about this more than talking about my health)

What he said makes me scare , it is like my love life depends on my weight.
I can not confirm that I will not get fat at any point of my life.

PS. I know being healthy is important and I am trying to lose weight it is not easy but it is on the progress.

[BigWhiteWolf87]

nobody is denying that being obese is undesirable. What is undesirable is the disgusting way in which her "boyfriend" is being emotionally abusive to her about her weight. And his absuvie asshole approach is likely a reason why she has put on weight by wittling away her self confidence & leading to insecurities, etc.

If he was a DECENT or RESPECTABLE human being after all he would SUPPORT her in losing weight. He'd suggest going for walks together. He'd suggest going to the gym together.

But he's NOT a decent or respectable human being. He's a bully. He's an abuser. All in all, a loser.

[Opinion Owner]

@BigWhiteWolf87 "If he was a DECENT or RESPECTABLE human being after all he would SUPPORT her in losing weight. He'd suggest going for walks together. He'd suggest going to the gym together." How do you know he hasn't made those offers? After all, he also said, "if I can lose my weight I can ask him to do anything like to stop drinking or smoking or anything."

Sounds like this post struck a raw nerve with you.

[BigWhiteWolf87]

Hardly I run 5km a day. Ex military.

I'm just tired of trash men who abuse women to make themselves feel special.

[Opinion Owner]

@BigWhiteWolf87 You are speculating on his motives, and assuming the worst, so you can feel special by "defending" this girl.

[BigWhiteWolf87]

Opinion owner - do you possess zero ability to read and comprehend English? She says that he told her he'd leave. Do you understand what is being said or is it flying over your head?

[Opinion Owner]

@BigWhiteWolf87 My reading comprehension always scores in the 99th percentile. I understand what she is saying, and I also understand that we are hearing one side of the story. I also have the impression that you are trying to be a white knight.

[BigWhiteWolf87]

ROFL. "One side of the story". Hmmm He literally said he would BREAK UP with her if she did NOT lose weight. Not only that but he said if she gained weight while married, he'd LEAVE.

Emotional & psychologically abusive behavior. DECENT partners - who are NOT assholes - would offer to work out with her, go on walks, etc. to lose weight.

[Opinion Owner]

@BigWhiteWolf87 You are talking as if you have heard his side of the story. Have you? Or do you just assume that she is unbiased and can fairly present both sides of the story?

[BigWhiteWolf87]

Oh yes because assholes like she describes exist. You're like him, you refer to her "rebelling"

[Opinion Owner]

@BigWhiteWolf87 You seem to be lookng for an excuse to spew venom. Why are you so angry?

[Pegases]

I don't know why so many people feel like it's acceptable to become lazy after you get married. If you take care of yourself before marriage, are attractive etc., then why would you let yourself go once you have a ring? A lot of women do this and then complain as if it's not unfair to a man that married a woman that took care of herself before he married her. At that, he even said he'd help you lose the weight after pregnancy. So its not like he's being unreasonable about something completely natural like pregnancy weight. Contrary to what society now says, men have just as much of a right to like what we like, as women do. It may not be acceptable for men to have preferences anymore, but we're going to have them whether you want us to or not. Also whats interesting about marriage today is that women initiate 80% of divorces. Meaning in most cases if the shoe is on the other foot, its a safe bet to assume that most women are going to be less understanding of a mans deficiencies. So in this day and age, men have so much more to lose when it comes to marriage, which is one of the reasons marriage is on the decline overall. So if a man chooses to marry you, considering how lopsided the perceived benefits are for him, the least you could do is work to remain who you were when he married you, or grow. Barring any freak accidents or things simply out of your control, I dont think that's an unfair ask.

[Artandthom]

He just called me and we talked about this topic , he asked me that he change his idea that if I can not lose weight after married he will get the second wife.
I told him that if he insist all those things I will break up.

[sunflower00]

Most women don’t purposely ‘let themselves go’ after getting married, some do of course, but most of the time it’s due to pregnancy and raising kids etc. Pregnancy isn’t just a case of gaining and then losing weight, it completely changes your body, you get loose skin, stretch marks etc. and can have a big belly that won’t go away. A lot of the parenting responsibilities also falls on the woman, and often housework too. Kids come first so the woman’s physical appearance really isn’t the main priority at that point and also most of the time she will not have the same amount of time to actually look after her physical appearance. When you have a baby sometimes you can’t even shower for days, let alone do your hair nice and your makeup and go to the gym daily. It’s no excuse to just let yourself become morbidly obese but you can’t control a bit of weight gain and body changes a lot of the time

[bamesjond0069]

@sunflower00 you're talking about 10lbs not 100lbs. Everyone knows a Mom who let it go and is 100lbs overweight. And he won't accept that. Seems reasonable.

[Pegases]

@sunflower00 They might not purposely let themselves go, but most women do leave at the first sign of stress, as proven by the women's comment on this very thread, and the divorce rate, 80% of which is intitated by women. Therefore, I stand by what I said. Most women, don't care about sticking by a man if they aren't getting what they want, so men need to at the very least be in relationships they actually want to be in, instead of catering to women whom often clearly wouldn't do the same for us.

[sunflower00]

@bamesjond0069 this girl is clearly not 100lbs overweight, and as I mentioned it my comment that you replied to…I said it’s not an excuse to be morbidly obese but that weight changes can and will happen

[bamesjond0069]

@sunflower00 I mean 10lbs overweight can be resolved in one month. Doesn't seem like it should be a big deal.

[sunflower00]

@Pegases do you have some reliable sources for what you’re saying?

[sunflower00]

@bamesjond0069 depends on age and what the weight is from, but like I said, if women are looking after a baby 24/7 their weight is really not top priority and they don’t have much time to spend on losing weight. Also it’s recommended to lose 1lb per week so doing it healthily it would be more like 2 and a half months. But if she had loose skin from pregnancy etc. you can’t just get rid of that

[bamesjond0069]

@sunflower00 lose skin =/= overweight
And you can lose weight simply by eating less. So one could argue how does one have time to gain weight?

[Pegases]

@sunflower00 Google it.

[BigWhiteWolf87]

@Pegases - nobody is denying that being obese is undesirable. What is undesirable is the disgusting way in which her "boyfriend" is being emotionally abusive to her about her weight. And his absuvie asshole approach is likely a reason why she has put on weight by wittling away her self confidence & leading to insecurities, etc.

If he was a DECENT or RESPECTABLE human being after all he would SUPPORT her in losing weight. He'd suggest going for walks together. He'd suggest going to the gym together.

But he's NOT a decent or respectable human being. He's a bully. He's an abuser. All in all, a loser.

[Pegases]

@BigWhiteWolf87 I went back and reread what she wrote and no where did I see that he is abusive. You could argue that he is brutally honest, but honesty in and of itself is better than white lies in my opinion. Don't get me wrong, based solely on what we see here, he could possibly work on his delivery, but to assume that he is abusive is literally just you assuming based on very little information, which leads me to believe that you've just got a bit of healing to do. Not everyone is great with words, but that deosnt automatically mean that someone is an abusive asshole, so I disagree with you.

[BigWhiteWolf87]

@Pegases - "no where did I see that he is abusive" --- threatening to leave someone because of their weight instead of offering to work with them to lose weight is plain & simple emotional & psychological abuse.

You don't even have to speak English as your 5th language to do able to say - let me help you.

His conduct is nothing more than bullying. In schools & over the internet (cyperbullying) such could result in, depending upon the expense of which, criminal charges for harassment.

Sure not everyone is great with words. But assholes are assholes and this guy's an obvious asshole. If he wasn't an asshole he'd offer to help her, not harass her.

[bamesjond0069]

@BigWhiteWolf87 how is threatening to leave someone abuse? So if I threaten to leave my girlfriend if she cheats on me it's abuse? What about does meth? Being fat is a legit reason to leave someone no different than either of those.

[BigWhiteWolf87]

@bamesjond0069 Entirely different scenario and you'd be an imbecile to think otherwise. As I said, an asshole is an asshole. Particularly when being fat can have legitimate reasons that have nothing to do with being lazy - only ignorant & uneducated people believe it is - and why decent respectable partners WORK with their partner to get fit... don't abuse and demean them.

[bamesjond0069]

@BigWhiteWolf87 how so? And being fat has almost no legitimate reasons. Thats just what lazy people say. I was fat once and then got in shape and never got fat again. I was initially fat because I was LAZY and every fat person I know is clearly lazy. Never met someone fat that wasn't lazy.

[BigWhiteWolf87]

@bamesjond0069 ROFL. Uneducated troll I happen to run 5 kms a day. What's the most excerise you do in a month? There are a lot of reasons why someone can become fat and it has nothing to do with being lazy (people that say laziness are typical nasty, ignorant & uneducated).

KNOWN reasons include:

~ Medication can cause weight gain, in fact it's extremely common for certain medicine
~ Mental health issues - depression, insomnia, etc. can be cause for weight gain
~ Medical issues such as hypothyroidism is very typical in causing weight gain issues
~ Serious injuries that handicap mobility (e. g. broken legs) can cause weight gain
~ Poor diet overly processed but cheaper products can obviously cause weight gain

[Pegases]

@BigWhiteWolf87 Did he not offer to help her tho? That's what I read. So I'm not following, and while I honestly don't see your point, and don't think I will, I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt here. Show me how you drew the conclusion that he was not willing to help her lose the weight.

[BigWhiteWolf87]

@Pegases I don't see that anywhere in her comments, kindly quote where she says he's going to help her. Because all I and most others see is him abusing her

[Pegases]

@BigWhiteWolf87 (Second paragraph) "I told him that I can gain weight after being mom or when I get old so he said he will help me to lose my weight."

(1st Update)
"He also said if I can lose my weight I can ask him to do anything like to
stop drinking or smoking or anything."

[Pegases]

@BigWhiteWolf87 Also, you've gotta be more tactful if you want people to listen to you. I took a look at what other said since you mentioned it, and I was surprised at how differently you spoke to other people verses me. The reason we are having this conversation, is because of how I spoke to you from the very beginning. Showing people respect even when you disagree with their perspective goes a long way. Just food for thought.

[anantmann9057]

well said brother no girl wants to marry or even get into a relationship with an obese man (trust me i know i was obese since my childhood till some years ago) then why should we? and i guess in terms of equality this is the right thing to do?

[Breanna_nonbinary]

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
If your boyfriend says you weight too much then that’s a huge red flag. It means to him something as superficial as weight is more important than the relationship itself. This attitude will always be a part of him. In addition if you relent to his wishes then you’ve given him the power to hold it over your head. This is a bad sign because it means he is trying to manipulate you through vanity. You will always be on the losing end of this relationship because weight changes throughout your life.
If the shoe was on the other foot do you think he would lose weight if you told him you would break up with him if he didn’t?

[Aerissa_Jade]

I'd say leave now, as he will be controlling you the rest of your life. Not just this way but any other way he can.

This is very controlling behavior.

Someone that loves you can encourage you to exercise and lose weight, work out with you and try to help motivate. Threats though or terrible and damaging to the relationship.

[weysally]

bang on answer

[Bricealan]

Agree with you

[DevilFist1919]

Well it's ironic, because women have been known to reject/mock a man for being a certain stature which is something he can't control. But when a man says a woman should be in shape on the assumption she isn't wheelchair bound and able bodied:
"you're fat shaming"
"it's what's on the inside that counts"
"stop body shaming people"

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

@DevilFist1919 are you really comparing someone not wanting to date someone not in shape to someone already being in a relationship with someone and threatening break up as the same?

[DevilFist1919]

@Brainsbeforebeauty It goes up on multiple scenarios.

[loveslongnails]

@DevilFist1919 What's so terrible about "rejecting" a man because he's shorter than you when you meet, or he's not in shape when you meet and you want a man who is both in shape and taller? There's no irony there since you've just met and he's not what you want. But in this scenario, it sounds like she was thinner when they met and put on weight while they were dating. She even mentioned marriage in the future? I have to think they've been dating a while.

So the question, if these assumptions are true, goes more to the man's character and his love for the woman. If he does indeed love her and want her in his life, his approach says nothing of the kind. If he did, he'd help her. Women respond to that kind of encouragement in a heartbeat. Ultimatums show no real love and do nothing but throw up walls and burn trust.

It's fairly clear that he cares more about his girlfriend or future wife being thin than he cares about this particular woman. What happens if she loses weight and looks great, and he decides to tell her "you know, I never told you this but all my life I wanted to be with a blond so I want you to do that for me because that's the beauty I want on the outside." And that would happen.

[Brainsbeforebeauty]

Break it off now… he’s giving you ultimatums and trying to control you and it’ll never change… And you’re right. Losing weight is good but it has to be for yourself your health, not his demands or ultimatums

[Apple1996]

If a man really loved you he wouldn't care about your weight/ask you to change it. Better off to let him go

[Paul09]

Kinda ironic. If you are overweight, means you are unhealthy. And unhealthy means you don't care about yourself. If you give up on yourself, why can't others give up on you?

[Apple1996]

@Paul09 overweight doesn't always make someone unhealthy. For me it would be impossible to be a "healthy weight" cuz of bmi doesn't work well for extremely short people.

And why would anyone give up on their partner? That's just disgusting since we should always be there for our partners regardless of what they look like

[Paul09]

Certain rare conditions, yes I agree. But if you don't have any condition.. There is no excuse. If he wants a healthy active lifestyle, and she doesn't , why is it his fault? People usually have tons of excuses or addictions , for not being healthy. Especially if you want kids, even more better reason to be healthy. Not get pregnant and eat so badly. Not keep in shape.

[Apple1996]

@Paul09 getting pregnant is easier with having some extra weight. I had to gain weight to be able to get pregnant.
And cuz nobody should be with someone for those reasons. If it's real love then it doesn't matter weight/health wise you stick it through with them

[Paul09]

They should fed off of each other. Help eachother grow together. My friend is obese , he married another friend who was thin. Today , she also is obese. So they fed off of each other's energy. So sometimes it doesn't work out right. I dont know, but it's also not for me. I take priority in self care. So id love to be with someone who has same values. Why would put give up on yourself?

[coachTanthony]

Nobody wants their partner to get fat because attraction is part of a healthy long term relationship. If he rather lose you over it then lose that joker now. Nobody should ever give someone they love an ultimatum like that.

[BigWhiteWolf87]

@coachTanthony - obviously you've never had a meaningful long term relationship. If attraction was the only factor after all people who get scarred in accidents, surgerical scars, cancer surgeries, etc. would die alone & miserable.

Comically they often die surrounded by loved ones, including their partner.

And people that put far too much merit to looks are the ones who usually die alone & miserable because they are too insecure, too shallow, etc. to maintain meaningful relationships.

[coachTanthony]

@BigWhiteWolf87 Attraction is not the only factor. I have been in meaningful long term relationships. And what you are suggesting is things that you can do something about like weight should be lumped in the same category as things you cannot do anything about which is cuckoo for cocoa puffs.

[Guy13]

Well good luck with him and your weight loss/gain situation.

[spartan55]

Where do you girls find these fuckheads? I would NEVER say anything about my SO's weight, much less issue an ultimatum. You need to dump that fuck because this won't be the last threat/ultimatum from him. You should lose all the weight and then dump him. In fact you should dump him no matter what.

[BigWhiteWolf87]

@Artandthom It's ironic that he says he wants you to be "beautiful inside & out" when he is extremely ugly on the inside. You even asked what would happen if you gained weight as married & he said he'd leave (which means he'd do that if there was kids too)

Do yourself the biggest favour you'll ever do and LEAVE.

He is not worth your efforts.

He will never appericate what you do or as now the fact that you are trying to lose weight. If he was a decent respectable man after all he would be HELPING you lose weight NOT threatening to break up with you - like an overgrown toddler - if you don't.

[CopperStove]

On matter like this I tend to believe I don’t have enough info for a good answer. I will say that so understand, to a degree, where he’s coming from. I would want my partner to look attractive to me and I probably would lose interest if they just let themselves go. Gluttony and sloth aren’t attractive to me. That goes both ways however, I think I should be expected to keep myself up for her too.

As this relates to you I would ask if he’s keeping himself looking his best for you? And is that the type of relationship dynamic you want? Some people do want to be able to totally let themselves go once they’re in a committed relationship, to not have to try anymore. That’s perfectly fine but if that’s the case then you should find someone who wants the same thing. Otherwise this’ll be constant stress for you and interfere with your ability to connect as a couple.

[CopperStove]

I will say you’re honestly not that fat going off what you mentioned. Like lose 15 pounds and you’d be at a medically ideal weight which is so much better than most. So he’s a lot more demanding about it than I am personally and sounds like he’s kinda mean about it.

Just wanted to throw that in.

[Adaeva]

150 lbs is already a bit heavy for a woman that is 2.5 inches below average height. However, we are what we are and a woman your age is past the age where losing weight is not extremely difficult. Nevertheless, looks are important to men and it is 40 times easier to love a beautiful woman than a homely women.

If you are at your normal weight then you can maintain your weight and overlook what he said. However, if you are already below your normal weight so that not gaining weight is going to be overly difficult, I suggest you look for another boyfriend.

[MaazHussain]

It is concerning that your boyfriend is making your relationship conditional on your weight, and it is not a healthy attitude to have in a relationship. Your worth as a person is not determined by your physical appearance or weight, and a loving and supportive partner should value you for who you are as a whole person.

It is understandable to want to maintain a healthy lifestyle, but it should be your own personal choice and not something imposed on you by your partner. It is also important to recognize that weight can be affected by many factors, including genetics, health conditions, and medication, and it is not always easy to control or change.

If your boyfriend is unwilling to accept you as you are, and is making unreasonable demands or ultimatums, it may be time to reconsider the relationship. You deserve to be with someone who values you for who you are, and who supports you in achieving your goals in a positive and loving way.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Considering most people gain weight in healthy relationships, I would say that if you did end up losing the weight for him, you’d just gain it all back to do this song and dance over and over and over again.
It would be easier to dump him. If his attraction to you is so heavily based on what your body looks like, then I don’t think he’s all that attracted to your personality. My mom and dad had the same issue where my mom gained weight because of her pregnancy and hated herself because my dad wouldn’t touch her. They got divorced when I was a kid, I imagine it would be the same foe the two of you. Save yourself the headache of the legal papers and find someone better.

[Ms_Facesitter]

It'd be best to break up. I kinda feel bad for telling people that they should break up, we have some kind of influence, and you turned to us. But he wants you to stay fit for beauty's sake, not for health. You and that weight scale are going to be enemies and it'll make you feel insecure, he'll make you feel insecure. He wants you beautiful inside and out, but he isn't really showing that beauty inside from him so why should you?

Only lose weight for your health, for You, because you want to. Not because someone else wants you to.

[Bricealan]

Correct. She will have to do it if SHE WANTS TO, NOT because he demands it.

[KittyKat90210]

I strained my neck from shaking my head so many times while reading this. How can I put this tactfully? I think you should end this relationship. He's using your weight as a threat to leave? Basically he wants you to look good - for HIM. Umm, no... No, no, no. And also, no. Women's bodies change, especially after childbirth as you said. And he'd leave if you didn't take the weight off? That's not love, that's control. If this would be a reason for him to leave, then I'd be willing to bet he'd just as quickly find another reason.

[RockyHammock]

The girls on this thread are universally calling for you to leave the relationship at the first sign of stress. That's crazy, don't listen to them. Relationships are not always butterflys and rainbows, you get cloudy days too. If you listen to them you might end up going into your 40s single and finding a relationship only gets harder the older you get.

Here is the objective truth: your man opened a line of communication with you on what he saw as an issue with your relationship. This was in the form of an ultimatum that nuclear severity usually means one party felt like they were being ignored with subtle approaches. Finally, the request is entirely to your benefit - by bmi scale you are pushing the envelope of being obese. Best case scenario you lose weight, which lowers your health risks and you save what you have going for you. Worst case scenario you dump him because some 14 said he was too controlling and you sit at home alone watching tv.

[BigWhiteWolf87]

nobody is denying that being obese is undesirable. What is undesirable is the disgusting way in which her "boyfriend" is being emotionally abusive to her about her weight. And his absuvie asshole approach is likely a reason why she has put on weight by wittling away her self confidence & leading to insecurities, etc.

If he was a DECENT or RESPECTABLE human being after all he would SUPPORT her in losing weight. He'd suggest going for walks together. He'd suggest going to the gym together.

But he's NOT a decent or respectable human being. He's a bully. He's an abuser. All in all, a loser.

[RockyHammock]

@BigWhiteWolf87 - poster gave you 3 paragraphs with little context. You really think the ultimatum just appeared out of thin air? Keep in mind we are probably talking about a guy in his 30/40s.

[BigWhiteWolf87]

@rockyhammock - are you daft? There is plenty of context if you can read above a 8 year old's skillset.

[RockyHammock]

@BigWhiteWolf87 - your memory slip again? You're lucky I was taught to respect the elderly

[abc3643]

You wrote this:
"I asked him what will happen if I got fat after married , he said we will break up with me."

That's all you need to know.
He's too immature for marriage and doesn't understand it and definitely doesn't love you.

He needs to go.
Now.
NOW.

[Qinart]

Nobody deserves to be treated like that, no matter how much weight someone has as long as the person cares about themself and there is no issue during the weight of a person. This would also be the only reason in my opinion to have a talk about someones weight.
If you ask me, screw him.
And you are beautiful, inside and outside, his inside is ugly as hell though, which makes him just disgusting to me

[Anonymous]

Leave. Don’t know why you’re even questioning it. Get up, walk the fuck out. Pull the trigger before he does. Call him out on it. Maybe he’s just threatening you but will never act on it. Even if he is you still walk. If he tries to get you back, I was just kidding. Tell him to grow the fuck up. If you want to lose weight that needs to come from you for you. If you’re overweight but still expecting to land that perfect, chiseled man, don’t expect that to happen. You can’t cry about that either if you’re not willing to put in the work. But I’d you’re not down w what your current man is saying walk. Simple as that.

[DevilFist1919]

Okay... So I'm gonna go against the grain here.

I'm currently visiting another country, almost ALL the women are in shape/slim.

Why you ask? Well, the women are all beautiful and outnumber the men almost two to one here. So they've gotta be as physically appealing as possible. The fact that anyone should just take you as you are, no matter how big you get is utter nonsense.

Men have physical standards put in place for them, you probably wouldn't be with your boyfriend if he didn't met said standards would you?

No? didn't think so.

I don't think it would hurt you to give it a try. Hell, the two of you can diet together.

[BigWhiteWolf87]

nobody is denying that being obese is undesirable. What is undesirable is the disgusting way in which her "boyfriend" is being emotionally abusive to her about her weight. And his absuvie asshole approach is likely a reason why she has put on weight by wittling away her self confidence & leading to insecurities, etc.

If he was a DECENT or RESPECTABLE human being after all he would SUPPORT her in losing weight. He'd suggest going for walks together. He'd suggest going to the gym together.

But he's NOT a decent or respectable human being. He's a bully. He's an abuser. All in all, a loser.

[xoxosilentgirl]

if i were you i would lose the weight and ask him to stop breathing. Seriously girl, just leave him. There’s no use hanging with toxic people like that. at your height, that weight isn’t considered overweight. If he ask you to lose weight bcs concern about your health then it’s acceptable, but it seems like he did that just because he want with super skinny girl.

[Sunssong]

Every guy wants his girl to look her best. They won't say/do what he did but they are the same don't let them fool you. But you should want to look your best for him and vice versa. If you wanna be over weight just find a guy that is okay with that or who likes that. Nothing wrong with that.

[cheerymin]

My ex boyfriend also told me to lose weight a couple month ago and it's really hurt me after that I didn't talk to him properly for 2 days then he said sorry but I just wanna know why he proposed me when he know I'm not a skinny girl or have a flat stomach... Why he wanted to change me when I'm just under 65 kg... I think he wanted me be to skinny like him and do exercise daily... I'm not kinda person who gonna change things in her life until I feel to change it... So if you thing you should lose weight go for it...❤