My boyfriend telks me to STFU wHen I try to communicate with him ?

[Nwilliams1969]

He works all day and when he gets home, he either ignores me and just watches stupid TV with the same violent storyline, killing, abusing, or torturing women, and it makes me think he is not interested in me or what I try to discuss. I'm disabled, but even still , I take great care of him and I will always try to make him happy when he gets home. I miss him each day and look fwd to talking to him about his day and mine. I have these lame insecurities because he doesn't even look at me when w I talk to him. He is always broke, he gets pissed off at me or tells me to "prove it* if I ask him why this or that because his behavior would be odd, distant, and cold toward me. He regularly tells me to STFU or LHTFA and I don't understand why he devalues me and verbally abuses me amd or is critical with everything I do or say... I go to bed by myself and when he is home he is always broke. It just feels like he hates me and I make his life miserable just by living here. We've been together 6 years and just by how ugly he is to me, by disrespecting me or treating me like the enemy is so fucked up. It feels like he is interested in someone else and I am in the way. Last night he told me I didn't know how to STFU so I got up and went to go sleep on the couch... feeling like an idiot for doing all I can for an asshole... I texted him and Said I should leave him for treating me like I don't mean shit to him, and his reply was "I'm cool with that"... I know it's a stupid question and I already think I know the answer in my heart, but it seems to me like I need to move out and let this dude find happiness because I seem to be making him miserable by being in his way or even trying to hang out... -disappointed girlfriend

[MrOracle]

I have a two-part response, because there are two very different things you need to know in my opinion.

1. When men come home from work, they NEED to decompress. This generally means they want to come home, eat, maybe shower, and then RELAX IN PEACE, whether they watch TV, surf the web, play video games, or tinker on the car. And you need to LEAVE THEM ALONE for at least an hour, so they can decompress. If you start sharing your issues with a man right when he walks through the door, he's likely to be very ill-tempered, because he's still carrying all the weight and pressure from his work-day. LEAVE HIM ALONE and let him relax. This is true of nearly all men, especially if they work outside the home, and even more especially if they have a very physical or high-stress job.

Having said that, THIS guy SEEMS, from what little we know about him, to be a selfish jerk (and very likely, he's suffering from depression as well). You need to decide whether or not he's worth staying with, and that's going to depend on how he treats you. How he's treating you now is unacceptable, BUT I strongly suspect that you aren't treating him right either - such as not letting him have the time and peace he needs to decompress when he comes home. If he's a decent man, and you give him 60-90 minutes to relax and decompress, he'll be prepared to listen to your issues and treat you right. If he's the asshole you portray, then he won't, and if that's the case, then in my opinion, you need to get away from him.

[Guy13]

Sounds like you are in a difficult way. It can be frustrating when one is so looking forward to seeing and engaging another…and then they shut down. I hate that. Hope you guys figure it out and it plays out as you wish.

[Anonymous]

Guys don’t know how to communicate without playing victim or becoming defensive. Yes girl you do know the answer. Leave and let live. Take time off from a relationship and be in tune with yourself for a while. A long while. You deserve the best and it’s his grumpy bum loss.
You tried but it didn’t work and that’s okay.
You got this! Leave when he’s at work. Then he can’t stop you.

[Anonymous]

you already know what you need to do LEAVE. if he's verbally abusing you it's only a matter of time before he starts becoming physically abusive as well. I had to leave several relationships when the woman was bcoming either verbally or mentally and emotionally abusive and manipulative. I had to leave before the abuse became physical to me

[Nwilliams1969]

I know... I do need to walk. I'm just checking myself because it's messing with my self esteem. Isn't guys supposed to want to be with their girl, treat her like she's #1, and just look fwd to spending time together? I mean I really dont think I am asking for much... It is messing with my self esteem now and making me feel like dumb dumb. I would even think he is already seeing or talking to someone else by the way he disregards me and shuts me down... 6 years is a long time to throw away but his behavior is just not cool. I blame myself cuz I'm still here...

[Opinion Owner]

i was in one for 5 1/4 years the last straw was when her older sister disrespected me calling me delusional saying i was never with her sister never dated her after that i was completely done with everything and walked away. it was bad enough i had to deal with her constant cheating, her family and close friends covering her cheating and infidelity, her shacking up with guys and telling them she loved them after only knowing them a few weeks. i grew tired of all her bullshit and her manipulation and using me i grew tired of it.
i had other exs who were manipulative as well wanting me to help them with their college homework or go with them when they bought drugs and using me for a place to stay. i got so sick and tired of all the bs. then the name calling and belittled treatment by them and the cheating by them. when they started acting verbally abusive and mentally and emotionally abusive and manipulating i knew it was time to leave

[Opinion Owner]

the one of 5 1/4 years was also a former drug addict and a former alcoholic. my other ex's of 3 months and 1 month and 4-6 months were all cheaters and either drug addicts and alcoholics and manipulative. it grew tiring and before the abuse became physical i left. see our fucked up gender biased society doesn't talk about stuff like this guys getting abused and when it is acknowledged people look the other way and ignore it and women get a slap on the wrist and told to be a good girl and don't do it again and blame the guy for the actions of the woman. a guy practically has zero rights in this fucked up shithole country

[SnowedIn]

Leave.

I'm all for communication but this is absurd.

[Avicenna]

Don’t put up with that

[LazerBean]

Because he knows you will put up with it.

[abc3643]

He needs to go.
NOW.

[In_Trance]

dump him