Should I have sympathy for anyone's misfortune?

[LonelyAndBig]

I find it difficult to have empathy for many people under certain circumstances.

For example, this girl is complaining how she is depressed because she can't get a job.

I find it difficult to feel bad because she has a boyfriend and gets to have intimacy. For me, I have never had a girlfriend and haven't so much touched a woman in over 8 years. I never actually made love to a woman. I envy those who get to experience love. All their problems to me are small compared to what I have dealt with. Not only have I been jobless before, but I have also never had a girlfriend, hardly have any friends, and had no life on top of that.

Yes

No

[dynamicyandere]

Practicing sympathy and empathy is important for building any meaningful relationship, whether that’s friends, family, or significant others.


It’s how you connect and it’s how others feel connected to you. It’s how a bond is formed. It’s how a bond is cultivated and nurtured.


Even if you have gone through more than other people, by being empathetic, you create the environment for a deeper bond to develop.


Most people in my social circles have not gone through the same hardships as I have.


I’ve been suicidal before, with a detailed plan for how I’d take my life. I’ve been depressed for years before, forgetting to eat for days and failing out of school because I could not concentrate. I’ve been though an existential crisis before, not knowing my purpose in life, or why I’m even alive. I’ve been fired before. I’ve been homeless before. I’ve lived out of a duffel bag. I’ve slept on the floor in a sleeping bag. I’ve lived off canned foods. I’ve lived in a storage room for years before. I grew up with abusive parents. A mother that would call me horrible things and a father that would beat me, not to discipline me, but to let vent his rage, continuing to hit me over and over with a tent pole before I was old enough to know how to spell my name, throwing things against the wall, breaking things, screaming at my mother and anyone that would get in his way.


So… I come from a dysfunctional home and I’ve been though more hardship than most of my social circle.


But, I empathize with them anyway. I seek to understand and I show my support anyway. And, I’ve made more friends because of that. Deeper more meaningful friendships.


In fact, the more pain you have been though, the more you can understand the pain of other people.


If you have not been though any hardship, it’s difficult to understand someone else’s hardships.


But if you’ve been hurt a lot, if you’ve been though a lot, you can use that pain to understand and empathize with other people better.


If you’re reserved or jaded, I believe I understand that too. Over time, I’ve grown more cynical as well, as I saw how ugly the hearts of people can be, how there is so much hate and malice in the world.


But, I still give people a chance.


I don’t go out of my way to empathize with everything that breathes. I’m selective with who I decide to give my time and attention to.


The ones that I’ve chosen are the ones I listen to and empathize with. And those are the people I’ve built friendships with.


So, if you want to build friendships, you’ll need to empathize.


And because you’ve been though your own share of pain and hurt and hardships, that actually allows you to empathize and connect even better than if you didn’t go through those things.


You can use your pain to make your life bitter or make your life better.


Whether you allow your pain to do harm, or you recycle your pain and turn it into something that can be used for good… The choice is yours.


But my advice is yes, I believe you should should sympathy and empathy for other peoples’ misfortune. At least for those that matter to you.

[dynamicyandere]

should show sympathy*

[xColinx]

Life kicks errrbody's butt and at certain point (s) in time will REALLY knock you down. If you're not knocked down at the moment, think about ways to help out someone else who is, or at the very least consider that person you're annoyed with might be dealing with some shiz.

I don't personally believe in gods or karma or whatever, but I do "believe" (acknowledge) that we often get outta life what we're willing to give. The people with the least in life are often the happiest, and vice versa. It's a simple concept but not easy to live out.

[Anonymous]

I don't think one should, but if this is a friend then I think it is good to ask yourself why you do not care so much for her well being? maybe you are not that good friends after all. Does she give you enough of what you want in a friendship?

Your reason for not having sympathy is not really related. You are jealous of one part of her life, that really has nothing to do with her problems. It is your issues with lack of intimacy, which can be improved if you focus on it, not by comparing with others.

If it is just a random person you heard about/barely know then I get it. Getting involved with everyones emotions is exhausting.

[Anonymous]

You have emotions I assume so yeah you should

Me I don't have emotions but I've learned enough mimicry to fake enough of empathy/sympathy to close a business deal with the misfortune ones

N. b. other tip is don't be such a bitter, petty incel, embrace tye opportunity you have and join the volcels

[Anonymous]

And here we have now found another reason why you are alone and probably always will be.

[LonelyAndBig]

I have hit rock bottom. So low I wanted to fall asleep and never wake up. I have never had a real girlfriend. In addition, I haven't sp much touched a woman in over 8 years. I hardly have any friends. And at one point, I was jobless on top of that and broke.

[LonelyAndBig]

... I am grateful I have a job now and doing somewhat better, but I still feel like a part of me is missing.

[LonelyAndBig]

Who are you by the way? It seems like you are the same woman that replies to all my posts.

[Sasha0426]

You’re just being petty.