My friend is rude and disrespectful behind her man’s back and says she wants an open relationship because he’s boring. Why can’t some people break up?

[Anonymous]

Why do some people stay with someone they don’t really like thattttt much just so they’re not alone? by the way this guy is too good for her. She’s not a nice person and it pisses me off. I’m close to dropping her. Lol and she gives me dating advice! Like no.

[Anonymous]

Omg selfish I can’t… I’ve had friends like this I love them despite because they are good to me but relationships are a whole nother thing, it all comes down to how deeply they love, when you love deeply you don’t want to hurt that person because it feels like hurting yourself. Tell her she should be in a relationship when she can be 100% a lot of people have boyfriends for fun that’s it… things are fun and when they are not they dip out in a way that feels easiest for them it’s not that deep.

[Asker]

Lol totally. Yeah she always finds something wrong with everyone and it’s driving me crazy. Like look in the mirror girl

[Opinion Owner]

Yep lack of self awareness and lack of depth tends to go hand in hand

[Asker]

I find it so weird how she treats me too. She gives me unsolicited advice sometimes on dating and that I should date multiple people and see which one I like, and that men like women with options that other men want. SMH. I’m a classy lady, I could care less if men think tons of men are all over me for sex.

[Opinion Owner]

Sounds like she’s a bad influence and it’s good you recognize it, I used to have a friend like that, they think relationships and dating are a game and they hurt people and themselves eventually in the process. She thinks her way is the best way but she is going to realize it’s no way to go about love at all.

[Opinion Owner]

But then again everyone wants different things maybe she would really love an open relationship, in my opinion they don’t work but their are always exceptions, maybe she needs to be more true to herself instead of being disrespectful and telling you to do the things she wishes she could if she had more self awareness.

[Asker]

You’re so right. I 100% hear you. Omg also one time me and her had plans to work out at the gym together already and I get there and she tells me her boyfriend is coming. He gets there and she basically tells me to leave “nicely” with a fake smile. I was hurt and texted her saying it was mean and she “apologized” and said she’s been stressed with work and school lately. SMH…. and she sent me a $10 Starbucks gift card and said “sorry about that. Have coffee in me 🥰” wtf

[Opinion Owner]

Ya disrespectful to not communicate why you should go for sure even tho she tried to make up for it, kinda reminds me of love bombing. I can’t tell you how identical this person sounds to me I’m actually wondering if they might be the same girl I knew lol. You for sure need to replace her with someone more deserving of your time, because spending time with a friend like this it’s a dead end, there will be drama eventually and if you don’t cut the cord soon it will blow up in your face most likely.

[Asker]

Lol that would be funny if it’s the same person!
I actually emailed her and told her I was sorry for everything that transpired between us. I don't know why I took the blame! And I said that I was hurt that she seemed annoyed with me after the loss of my sister. I obviously was hurting so much.
Her response was “hi *my full name*, no hard feelings between us. I appreciate your note and wish you the best of luck.” Literally she calls me by my FULL first name and not my nickname. So immature

[Opinion Owner]

Ya the worst feeling is when the friendship ends and you immediately cave and take the blame, because you may not like the feeling of having bad blood even tho she was in the wrong. I live in AZ by the way it would be funny af if she was the same girl but then again the world is full of self absorbed people, I just forget sometimes because I’m so happy with the people I make space for where I am now after I got rid of all the immaturity.

[Asker]

Omg she’s from AZ too! What! Ok that would be hilarious if it was the same person.

[Opinion Owner]

What’s her name if you don’t mind me asking?

[Asker]

Do you mean Arizona right?
Her name begins with an S.

[Opinion Owner]

Ya Arizona, my friends name started with a D lol to bad, we could have made an alliance to back each other up, if she tried to create more drama and give her a nice surprise😂

[Asker]

Haha oh well. That’s still so funny.

[Opinion Owner]

These toxic Arizona bitches are a different breed lol

[ShiftingMonke]

Like you said, it's more convenient to stay and complain than to risk losing out on what's good.

Your friend seems really unpleasant and her partner should probably seek breaking it off because she doesn't seem to be willing to negotiate with him.

You're better off without her.

[Asker]

She’s so mean about guys she dates. She even still keeps in touch with her ex and just has to keep all her exes and other guys on a hook in some way. She’s always so like rude and weird. She like rolls her eyes at some things I say too.

[Asker]

Once a guy kicked her out of his apartment at 2am and made her walk home. And she goes “well he makes like 300K so” and kept him around. Wtf!!

[ShiftingMonke]

She sounds like one of my exes. 😂

Yeah but she really does sound terrible as a person. No one can tell her otherwise either; until her men move on, she has confirmation bias on her side.

[Asker]

I’m just disturbed because she gives me dating advice and just has to be a know it all. I genuinely value relationships and being a kind person. She always seems annoyed around me and I don’t know what it is.

[ShiftingMonke]

Maybe it's because deep down, she doesn't like herself?

Perhaps you represent who she wishes to be, but cannot, as she's stuck doing what she thinks works for her having never tried it another way.

Or maybe you remind her of what she will never have?

[Asker]

Well let’s see - I’m a champion horseback rider, tall and thin and kind/smart. I’m almost always single but I don’t hate it. I’m quite secure in who I am overall. It’s weird because sometimes she nice and complimented me but other times it’s like I bother her and she’s tried and annoyed.

[ShiftingMonke]

Without knowing her or seeing either of you, I'm inclined to agree jealousy may play a role.

[Asker]

Possibly. Once I went on a date with a guy and she just wanted to see his LinkedIn and pick apart his career. I felt uncomfortable and just didn’t go out with him again :/ and once she said I could get a non surgical nose job since I have a bump on my nose.

[ShiftingMonke]

Oof.. that sounds danger close to deliberate sabotage. More reason to distance yourself...

[ShiftingMonke]

And I'm sure your nose is perfectly fine lol.

[Asker]

Haha I know right. And once I told her about a guy I was dating and it was going well and she told me to make sure he’s not dating anyone else by inviting me to this Facebook group lol

[ShiftingMonke]

How would a group tell you anything new?

[Asker]

All I know is I do want a great relationship and I don’t want her knowing the guy. Lol. She actually got me in touch with her ex and he gave me a job reference and is helping me with the interviews.

[Asker]

For the group - you can post anonymously. But basically you ask if anyone else is dating this guy.

[ShiftingMonke]

She doesn't strike me as someone who does something out of the goodness of her heart. It sounds wise to keep her away from any of your potentials.

[Asker]

I wonder if I should tell him about her. Her ex seems like a really decent guy. She told me he’s boring which was so rude. He went out of his way to send me long emails helping me with the technical interviews.

[ShiftingMonke]

I think you should, for sure, only after insulating yourself from her. She will take it very personal when you go behind her back; she will likely seek to tear you down.

[Asker]

I don’t think he’d really care about anything she has to say. I actually don’t even know if she’s being truthful or not — she told me he wanted to get back together with her earlier in the year. I’m honestly confused - why would a girl like this have men all over her? Lol

[ShiftingMonke]

Knee-jerk response?

Because she puts out.

Smart men will do dumb things for physical gratification. She's just figured out how to play her strengths against their weaknesses. But that logic won't last forever, and he reckoning will be harsh.

[Asker]

Lol that’s so true. I’m just confused because she’s not that hot. She has big boobs but that’s kinda it. She’s gained a lot of weight last year or so. And has gotten more bitter too over time.

[Asker]

Funny about the she puts out thing. She always tells me she’s the prize and makes guys work. Lol

[ShiftingMonke]

Haha well as a bust enthusiast, I can assure you, tiddies ABSOLUTELY are a motivator. But even that won't be an advantage for her forever, men will want more than she can provide or her chest will slowly lose its perfection and she will have to fall back on her personality, which by all accounts, is shit.

Of course she can tell you that she makes them work, but you also know she's capable of deception, yes? No guarantee she hasn't given you a few white lies here and there. Plus, her definition of 'making them work' seems to me like they just buy her stuff or otherwise nothing incredibly personal. Money in the long run is effectively disposable, and since you can't take it with you, kinda makes it worthless.

[Asker]

Wow that’s SO true. Lol hit the nail on the head with that. Couldn’t have said it better myself. And yeah she never talked about anything with substance - it was always just about how some girl’s ass is huge or their hair extensions look bad or they’re easy.

[ShiftingMonke]

Why elevate herself above 'competition' when she can instead tear them down to her level to appear subjectively superior?

[Asker]

Makes so much sense actually. Her relationships are probably more transactional. She gives them sex with her huge ass (fake) tits in exchange for a gift or money. Lmao no wonder she never did anything for me after I got her birthday gifts once…

[Asker]

That’s exactly what she does with me. I’m never allowed to be excited about a guy I’m dating or an accomplishment. She never seemed really happy for me.

[Asker]

by the way I lost someone close to me over the holidays and she told me she’d send me something but never did…

[ShiftingMonke]

It's all making sense, isn't it? She's sounding less like a friend and more like an enemy tbh.

I really am sorry to hear about your loss however.

[ShiftingMonke]

Also, we are 24+ responses deep, you can just DM me if you want. My profile is open. Just figured I'd offer.

[Emerald55346]

Lol can’t tell you how much I relate to having a friend like this the more I read, toxic you need to ditch her she will hold you back like an anchor in the sea, she also doesn’t respect you.

[Asker]

@Emerald55346 You’re so right. I 100% hear you. Omg also one time me and her had plans to work out at the gym together already and I get there and she tells me her boyfriend is coming. He gets there and she basically tells me to leave “nicely” with a fake smile. I was hurt and texted her saying it was mean and she “apologized” and said she’s been stressed with work and school lately. SMH…. and she sent me a $10 Starbucks gift card and said “sorry about that. Have coffee in me ” wtf

[NostalgiaSenpi]

Tell her boyfriend a d drop her ass. She sounds like a disease.

[Asker]

Not sure how she gets so many guys all over her. She’s so rude and manipulative.

[Anonymous]

because she's a piece of shit whore

[Asker]

Well guys are obsessed with her so.