How would you feel if your neighbor had a chimpanzee as a pet?

[Wallythewalrus]

My neighbor recently brought home a chimpanzee for "research" purposes. He is a zoologist, specializing in primates and I looked into local and state laws, it's legal but I don't trust chimps. Too many horror stories. I can only hope he knows what he's doing. He says it's temporary and I hope it is. I told my wife, if I see that prick (chimp, not my neighbor) step one foot in our yard, I'm shooting it! Is that unreasonable of me? How would you feel in my situation?

[Slingblade1126]

LMAO!! I'd question his credentials, Wally. How good of a zoologist can he be? He's scarred from head to toe from animal attacks and has been bitten so many times by snakes, he's immune to venom! The chimp will probably end up killing him.

[Wallythewalrus]

Oh, Christ! I should have blocked you. He said it will only be 1-2 months. I just don't know where he keeps it.

[007kingifrit]

i lived next to a zoo for most of my life so... i know exactly how this feels. woman walked a kangaroo across my lawn once. its amazing

[Wallythewalrus]

Lol! I actually met him today. I think I would actually have a hard time shooting him. Looks and acts A LOT like a human.

[Ladybell22]

I mean I love chimps in a wild but yea pet chimps are scary. I don't blame you for yout fear I would be nervous too especially if I had children

[Wallythewalrus]

I do have two small children. That's why I told him I won't hesitate to shoot it.

[Ladybell22]

I get that

[Anonymous]

Lmfao!!! I have no advice but this was the funniest thing I've heard in a long while. Family Guy needs you.

[Slingblade1126]

It gave me a good laugh too!

[In_Trance]

"Because it's legal" is not an argument, it's an appeal to authority.
Laws are arbitrary dictates used to control a population, not universal standards of morality.

[Wallythewalrus]

Let me guess, when you get pulled over for a driving infraction, you're a "sovereign citizen"?

[In_Trance]

I'm not a citizen at all.

[Slingblade1126]

I'll bite! Where aren't you a "citizen" of? Lol I know I'll regret the stupidity I'm about to read!

[Slingblade1126]

And please, don't tell me you're an anarchist!

[DryGermanGuy]

Show him the movie „Link“ from 1986. That might change his perception.

[LazerBean]

I hate chimps, I wouldn't blame you at all.

[Wallythewalrus]

I just told another member about our small children. I told my neighbor, if I see it loose and I feel threatened or my wife and children are threatened, I will shoot it. He did tell to do what I feel is necessary but it won't come to that. He's a good guy but I don't trust the situation.

[LazerBean]

Good, I'm glad he's at being understanding about everything

[Agape93]

I'd kill it.

[Agape93]

Like, I'll go out of my way to shoot that thing. We do NOT need a chimpanzee running around out here. I don't give a fuck about the neighbor, but that chimpanzee has to go.

[Wallythewalrus]

He assured me it's "secure" but I don't know exactly what that means. We have two small children and I told him, if I see him loose and I feel threatened in any way, I will shoot it. He said I'm over reacting but he did say, "do what you feel is necessary. It won't come to that, though. I promise". He's a good guy but I don't trust he can control it.

[Agape93]

Good. But it's hardly an overreaction. They've ripped people apart. Even Joe Rogan, a man known as a powerful kickboxer, was amazed at the strength of a BABY chimp.

Anything is harmless, until it very suddenly isn't

[Wallythewalrus]

I know! They have literally tore peoples limbs, lips and genitals apart! And these were life long pets. They say they have the strength of ten men. I'm tough but not that tough!

[Agape93]

Nothing buckshot can't fix