I’ve been chatting with a man who lives halfway across the world from me. He reached out to me and we instantly clicked. He’s been really sweet and fun to talk to esp at the start. I also like how he’s a perfect mix of naughty and nice, even if we get into spicy conversations he’s still respectful. He never imposed anything, but discusses things with me. The good mornings, how are yous, how’s your day, have a good sleep are constant too. We’ve been chatting almost everyday for 4 months, and when I get busy and grow silent he never assumes things—he asks if I’m okay or how am I doing. He promised to visit me at the start of 2023, but things have changed when January came. He got busier, responded less or longer than before, so I asked him if things have changed. He said nothing has changed except he has less time now. To be fair, now that I think of it, he chats less now, but the quality of our conversations seem to have improved. They’re no longer just how’s your day to sustain the everyday conversations, he already sends me pics of how he played volleyball with his friends, if he’s out at the park at 1am, or a video of the view from outside his room when it rains at night because he knows that we both like rain.
Despite that I noticed how I started expecting more from him. I get upset when it takes a while before he responds and find myself deleting and reinstalling the app frequently. I got anxious more and more. I know it’s bad for me and for whatever it is we have. So I explained it to him and asked for a break because I need to organize my thoughts & feelings. He replied with 😞😞😞😞😞 & “I’ll be here when you back.”
I am reflecting on things now, but I also wonder if this break will help us realize things for the better or will it make us more distant from each other?
Despite that I noticed how I started expecting more from him. I get upset when it takes a while before he responds and find myself deleting and reinstalling the app frequently. I got anxious more and more. I know it’s bad for me and for whatever it is we have. So I explained it to him and asked for a break because I need to organize my thoughts & feelings. He replied with 😞😞😞😞😞 & “I’ll be here when you back.”
I am reflecting on things now, but I also wonder if this break will help us realize things for the better or will it make us more distant from each other?
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
3Opinion
It's easy to click online. Entirely different to click as much in person. Online is not a real relationship, just a wish for one. In fact, only once it gets sexual can it be called real. Difficult to explain.
I agree with what you’re trying to imply, we’ll only know if we are fit for each other and see if there’s possibility for romance when we see each other in real life. That is why I asked for a breather, because I know that me being anxious and attached to him instead of letting things flow naturally is not good. It’s a toxic trait, so I’m taking the time to level set my expectations and organize my thoughts so I can express myself better.
It isn't that attachment is wrong. Attachment's the whole point.
It is that we all prefer to enjoy the closeness and intimacy of feelings - which by no means automatically becomes equally good in the physical. Not only because of real looks, those can be just as thought - but due to 'who will move' - since you have to be near for physical aspects, and the 'pregnancy' topic.
Most people wouldn't move just for sexual pleasures, and planning anything other than pregnancy, in the end leaves one feeling guilty.
I mean you could say 'hey, visit me for a month or a year of great sex' - but it's always 'if not good no one wants to waste effort on a flop' and 'if good, why limit it to just one month or one year'.
There are obviously other aspects, to some people even more important (e. g. religion or language or relation to relatives/friends/those around us and whether they approve or sabotage'
A break is a breakup. Those are never good. Successful couples never break up
How can we breakup when we’re not even together? We’re just getting to know each other and the relationship has not been defined yet.
How indeed? Not even together but already talking a break? Really? You have to ask?
Well, in this aspect I am sure that a person can take a break in every aspect of his/her lives when they’re tired. Taking a break means you pause to rest, breathe, and think while breaking up means you're ending things. They're different.
Have fun with that
A 'talking stage for an LDR? 😂😂😂Oh my
..
Oh. It’s that bad? ☹️
You are wasting your time.
True, there’s a big chance that I could be wasting my time. But just as I mentioned in my narrative, this connection has been healing and transformative for me. He helped me overcome my self loathing. He gave me that assurance that I was more than enough and that I have nothing to worry about.