Why even bother living together if most people break up?

[CelineBV]

More people want the easy way out, one foot out the door any time. They only want the good parts of a relationship, they want an extended infatuation period, the physical connection, the love declarations but no responsibilities, working on the bad days, accepting the person's flaws, accepting everything is not ''and they live happily ever after, argument free''.

[caring__1]

The key problem is people's reluctance to paint a clear picture of who they are, what they bring to the relationship and what they expect of a partner. Not wanting to miss out on opportunities, people often present what they believe the other wants to see, rather than what truly exists. Though we can be on our best behavior when seeing someone on occasion, it is pretty much impossible to keep all this hidden when we are living 24/7 with someone. It is much easier to determine compatibility when people are clear, open and honest with each other. It's the deception that leads to the demise of many relationships.

As far as why people live together, there are many reasons people choose that option. People may need a place to live, or they may find living together is more cost effective, or they're looking for something they believe they can't get on their own, or they may want to see whether the person will follow through on promises, or they may just see it as a convenient thing to do. The quality of a relationship isn't determined by whether people cohabitate or not. A relationship is based on the quality of connection two people choose to create and nurture. If they don't choose to create and nurture something special, then living together is like putting lipstick on a pig.

[Jdjfjcjj]

Honestly I don't think you really should until marriage. Tbe attraction you have for him will likely fall for multiple reasons when living together.

Also, it's to the womans benefit for him not to if I'm being honest. It's the woman's job to get the ring, and if you on top of each other before he proposed, you just making it far less likely

[CelineBV]

yes any guy that we date for a while can ask if we want to be his girlfriend. Then from there, we're at his mercy of whether he decides to keep us as just his girlfriend he can have fun with and have a prolong infautation period (always having one foot out of the door if there is only single argument or he isn't ok with working with flaws) or proceed to making us his wife and giving us kids before our time expires. We're at his mercy on that one. lol

[Jdjfjcjj]

Your spot on. Now you have to consider, how do you secure the ring? A lot of guys will keep you aroumd for the sex but decide as you said that one thing pissed him off enough and he just wasting your time

[CelineBV]

yes and we lose big time if we can't secure a ring and kids by the time we're 30 and above. Then we have a limited time with the next candidate, all through that whole courtship process again, all over again and try to make it quicker while trying not to sound like we're rushing the man.

Then the women that couldn't secure that found themselves
- Single mothers (either by that boyfriend that never proposed or through a sperm donor)
- Childless, older and her fertility killed

[CelineBV]

I feel like the only single men that understand us better is one of my cousins who is an infertile man. He went to 2 different clinic. He didn't want to believe the first result but the other clinic confirmed the same thing. The news literally destroyed him. He actually cried about it. He's getting used to his reality that he'll never father a child but he still feels a life decision has been snatched from him, that he's been forced to live a life he didn't want.

I find this quite ironic. Generally men like to take their sweet time, want to run away as soon as we asked for kids but take that choice (of having kids) away from them permanently and most aren't going to like that either.

[Jdjfjcjj]

Well I will say that men taking their time can help women if you look at it from the aspect that, kids or no kids, after 5 years, you won't be able to sexually satisfy then any longer and that's no reflection on you, it's just that men have primal thirst for variety. So in hum waiting the 5 years it's takes let's say before you Leavd him for what you see as his indecision, perhaps it's best to see it as him protecting women from single motherhood

[Anonymous]

Exactly, there’s not point and that’s why I stopped dated several years ago and have no plans to ever do t again. I’d rather be single for the rest of my life than again be involved in something that isn’t going to last our whole lives. It’s a complete waste of time and emotion.

[Jdjfjcjj]

Ok you got jaded at too young if an age and have already taken it too far.

The options you basically considered was, date and live together, or not date at all.

I'd like to help you discover one in the middle. Did that hint help,? No?
Okay guess I'll have to point it out..

You can be in a relationship and not move in. You can even shake it up a little and refuse to have y'all's time together at the others place for too long. Instead you can plan out dates and keep those going longer that the moment he agrees to commit

[LazerBean]

Most of the problems that cause people to breakup are solved by not being easy and using your brain instead of your genitals to pick your partner.

[Guy13]

You have better chance of being together married than SO or live in or partner or whatever you call it.

[molonski2]

All you say is 100% correct , and these are the risks of life , real life is tough , people are scared , sometimes " reality bites " , So what can you do? Well its risk v reward isn't it..

Taking the chance , that this one , is the one -- difficult agreed , if I can the answer to this I'd be on the speaking tour.

[jshm2]

That's as daft as saying "why bother living, if you're just going to die?"

There is a lot more going on in life, kiddo. You need to touch grass and stop pontificating.

[NostalgiaSenpi]

Life is full of risks. Why get out of bed if you're just going to die anyway? That's pretty much this line of thinking.

[BarryLiverstone]

Because some want to get married so they live together while engaged.

[CelineBV]

and others waste 5-8 years into that ''living together thing'', only to then break-up, never get married nor have kids, get nothing out of it other than just sex and worthless time wasted.

[BarryLiverstone]

True people make mistakes all the time. It’s not wasted time tho cuz they are still learning and figuring themselves out and living life.

[midnightcavern01]

To see if there's a future there