I love my girlfriend very much and we are together for almost 1 year but she is a bit fleshy and I believe she would be much more attractive if she lost weight. Actually, she also wants to lose weight but she can't lose weight as she is weak-willed. I even gave her a gym membership as a gift but she doesn’t go. What do you think I should do? Am I a bad partner because I want her to lose weight?
From my own experience…. you just have to want it. It’s not even the gym as much as it is diet. I worked out til the cows came home in my 20s, I was fairly fit but never got lean because I just had no dietary discipline. The key is changing your mentality towards food. It can’t be a pleasure source, it has to be regarded as a fuel source. I would work out for four hours and then come home and eat pizza, or Buffalo wings, or subs. Drinking chocolate milk like sugar isn’t real. The biggest weight drop I had was doing fairly moderate cardio on a stationary bike like 4x a week, but more importantly, switching to the “stop eating like an asshole diet.” I bought a rice cooker with a steam tray on it, and started broiling chicken breast with dry Cajun seasoning on it. 15-20 minutes to cook, super easy, and now I try to go back and eat things I used to love, and they just don’t hit the same. We get addicted to sugar and fat, but when you break the addiction, you’re out. And for me, it feels better to take my shirt off at the beach and not be self-conscious about it than it does to taste unhealthy foods and beverages, that’s the bottom line. It requires a lifestyle and mentality change.
There are many reasons why a person may have difficulty losing weight, and it is important to keep in mind that each person is unique and may have different circumstances and challenges.
First, it's important to remember that weight loss is a complex process that depends on many factors, including diet, exercise, genetics, metabolism, mental and emotional health, and more.
If your girlfriend is having a hard time losing weight, it may be helpful to explore some of these factors to determine if there is anything that may be contributing to her challenge.
For example, it may be helpful to review her diet and make sure she is eating an adequate amount of balanced, healthy foods.
It may also be helpful to incorporate more physical activity into her daily routine to help burn calories and boost metabolism.
However, it's also important to note that external pressure to meet certain beauty and fitness standards can be detrimental to a person's mental and emotional health.
If your girlfriend is struggling with weight loss and her self-esteem is taking a hit, it's important to offer support and encouragement so she feels comfortable and confident in her body just the way she is.
Instead of focusing exclusively on weight loss, it's important to focus on adopting a healthy and balanced lifestyle that is sustainable and suitable for each person's individual needs.
You are NOT a bad partner for wanting your girl to lose weight. You would be a bad partner if you slowly drew away from her and went cheating with slimmer girls. THAT is a bad partner. You are here trying to find a solution.
"she can't lose weight as she is weak-willed." ⬅️⬅️⬅️ This is the problem. If she doesn't have the drive to do it then it will never happen.
I was very overweight after my third kid and I was frankly disgusted with what I saw. I also was overeating and eating a lot of junk and fried food to soothe my depression about it.
I was sick of all the energy it took to drag my fat ass around so I changed my eating habits and started moving.
Maybe she has some emotional issues that need addressing and the weight is a by product? Maybe you both could start with healthier meals and focus on a healthier lifestyle from a holistic standpoint instead (mind, body & soul) then get to the weight issue from there.
I just feel people who say "I am how I am" or "I can't because a b c d... blah blah blah", when they know it is in their best interest to make the change their partner is requesting, to be immature and self-sabotaging.
also ehy does your relationship status say single? Are you in a relationship or not?
I would say make it easier..
The gym kind of sucks A) you are surrounded by almost all fit people, so it can feel like people are judging you or looking down on you. B) You don't always want to have to go to the gym. So I would suggest getting her workout videos.. and exercise bands those do wonders to help tone arms and legs.. You could try changing your diet with her, like even if you are skinny you should help her by eating healthy with her. Maybe workout with her it might motivate her to have a workout buddy..
Opinion
35Opinion
This is honestly disgusting. If you truly loved her then you wouldn't even notice her weight
I think you're overlooking that he said she herself wants to lose weight. If she wants to lose weight on her own volition (her motive is unclear), and he agrees, their reasons might be the same. I don't see how that's disgusting. If he truly loves her, he'll find a way to help her, but as MzAsh said, the primary motivation has to come from her. He'd only be a bad partner if he decides to dump her because of it, in which case, it wasn't ever love at all.
@loveslongnails almost everyone notices when they need to lose weight. Most people don't ignore their own body. The issue is him caring about her weight like buying someone a gym membership is a insult. I'd leave someone if they bought me that. He is a very bad partner for even just saying she is weak willed like there are multiple issues here and her weight isn't one of them
@Apple1996 so true girl
not true. he doesn't want to be with a girl whonis over a certain weight. what is wrong with that?
why isnit bad to buy someone a gym membership. if i was fat and my S/O did that for me I would be happy.
Thats so much bullshit apple.. love may be blind but not stupid
I think the way he went about it was messed up, but it’s not bad to care about your partners health
Anyone who's happy with their partner buying them gym membership needs a fitness trainer more than a relationship, and should get that. Your partner isn't supposed to fix you lmfao.
@anon1903 then what the heck is the point of having a partner if they won't be honestly tell you areas you need to improve.
@Apple1996 Yeah, he does come off like a boss who gave his employee a task and she completely failed and now he’s asking how to motivate his employee to do their task.
If you need change, can't you tell yourself?
@anon1903 siiiigggh.
There's a lot of the conversation that we don't know about, so injecting your assumptions just takes you down the path you imagine it's on. The ONLY thing I'm willing to "assume" is that he's not dealing with this in the most tactful, helpful or loving way possible. Maybe she's weak-willed in general and needs a lot of support no matter what she does? You don't know that what he's saying is untrue, as tactless as it is.
I agree that his approach sounds shallow and more selfish than actually concerned, as his presentation sucked, but as I said I don't know the rest of the conversation. You don't either, but your immediate angry reaction has caused you to miss my point, and MzAsh's key observation as well.
Having a standard/preference is disgusting?
Forcing your said preference and standard is disgusting.
Sexual attraction is important. Would you want to have sex with someone you are not sexually attracted to?
No. But a relationship is more than sex. It's okay to breakup with your fuck buddy because they got fat. But girlfriend? Wow, so you only loved her for body hm?
The way he's wording it all out, I really doubt he's a good partner. But that's just me.
@Apple1996 Yeah, the whole “I just care about her health” thing is such a cop-out. It would be like a husband tracking his wife’s every move at every moment of every day and demanding she tell him every person she spoke with and what she spoke about and monitoring her texts and phone calls and when she complains about it, he says “I just care about her safety”
" almost everyone notices when they need to lose weight" ... notices? Notices and ignores, or does something about it? The obesity rate among adults in the USA is around 40%, and that doesn't include the overweight but less than obese category. Would you say any of them were weak-willed too, or just apathetic? Or would you say ANY of them decide to rationalize their lack of willingness to make changes they "secretly" WANT to make by saying " I'm comfortable with my body (when they're actually not) so love me for what I am or move on"?
It's ultimately their decision. To lose weight or to stay overweight. It's not your responsibility. Period.
@anon1903 @marish01 @loveslongnails Can we all agree he just needs to break up with her? He does not love her and her losing weight won’t change things.
@Apple1996 True, I’m not convinced this girlfriend even exists anymore. Although, he may have lost the ability to type after giving his girlfriend the “gift” of a gym membership 🤣
Yeah, agreed.
@Mangospacho only a year into the relationship and this stuff already coming up like they ain't gonna make it anyways. Breaking up would probably be best.
I wish the asker would respond to some of these comments so we could get more details
He's probably sulking around the corner because we aren't marvelling at his "doting boyfriend" nature.
@Apple1996 True, I’m not convinced this girlfriend even exists anymore. Although, he may have lost the ability to type after giving his girlfriend the “gift” of a gym membership 🤣
It's so shitty — trying to control people. I'll tell him to seek help, possibly group therapy to better his understanding of the world and interpersonal relationships.
@anon1903 He’s on the phone with Planet Fitness asking if he can get a refund for an unused “gift membership” 🤣
She’s got to want it bad enough in order to do it.
"She would be more attractive if she lost weight. She wants to, but she is weak-willed"
You would be more attractive if you weren't this shallow and even if you want to be a good partner for her you're clearly weak-willed to not work on your character. On top of that using just the fact that she isn't losing weight to judge her as a weak-willed person, yeah if someone did that to me that would instantly land him in the trash can.
What a disgusting way to think of your partner. She deserves so much better.
If it’s to help her become healthier that’s great. But if you want her to loose weight so you’ll be more attracted to her, not so great. If she knows this is the reason for your encouragement, then it’s going to affect her mentally. She’s thinking you’re not attracted to her and that can cause issues. Depression, resentment, low sex drive, insecurity. Just reassure her that you find her attractive and beautiful. Give her compliments daily. Suggest becoming gym partners. No one wants to hear from there partner, “ you’d be attractive if you lost weight”
I agree with @marish01. Why is it so bad to want your partner to lose weight in order to feel more attracted to them (especially if they were slimmer before)? Would you rather have it that they just end the relationship or cheat with someone who is slimmer rather than try to work through it with their current partner?
What's up with you people showing your teeth whenever a man wants to feel sexually attracted to a more healthy and slim woman? Telling her that he thinks she is beautiful and attractive? So he should lie to her? Don't you think she is going to say "but then why do you want me to lose weight?" if he did say that? Sometimes being honest and communicative is the best way forward.
If my girl starts to gain weight, I tell her that she is and to do something about it. No games. Just plain honesty. And she wants it that way because she isn't a snowflake who starts folding whenever I point it out. Instead, she gets to the gym and adjusts her diet accordingly. Boom, she lost the excess weight in no time. That's called being a successful person.
@marish01 so you would rather someone tell you. “I’m not attracted to you in anymore. So loose weight or it’s over” that’s real love. So it sounds like looks are all that matter. She can have a banging personality and be a 10 everywhere else. But if she’s got extra weight. Fuck that. You’d rather be with a hot skinny bitch that has the personality of a potato.
You're not bad partner bc you want her to lose weight, however, it should be for the right reasons. Her continued health should be the main concern.
I wonder if she doesn't want to go to the gym bc she just doesn't feel comfortable. She may be a little embarrassed, so the membership is a little premature.
If that is the case, maybe spend a little money to get some equipment for her to work out at home. Something you can use together.
She may just need your help to motivate her and working out together can be fun. Once she starts dropping some weight, and improves her self image, she may reconsider going to the gym.
Some people say that the subconscious mind is 20x times as powerful as your conscious mind. This number may be pulled out of their asses but the point is that we do have a subconscious mind which is important to align to your will. Otherwise you'll forever struggle in the internal battle between your will and beliefs.
For example if she has unresolved emotions built up related to her being fat and she unconsciously acts as if she is fat because that is the only way she can see herself... no surprise. It will work like the nocebo effect even if she doesn't actually physically do anything to get fat.
That's why reprogramming the subconscious mind is so crucial. She can do it. Tell her how excited you are for seeing her in shape.
Similar to how some men have benefited and written testimonials about their success with this guided self-hypnosis meditation:
https://www.youtube.com/embed/dG5cZzbKvW0Most of the womens responses are silly.
Here's what you got to do. Don't make the goal for her to go and lose double digits right away. What you do is set a goal of 1lb in next week. This is easy and she'll likely lose more. Then you congratulate her on her success. This small win will motivate her to get her ass in the gym and consistently being active.
Tell her take a progress picture each week. When she sees the difference from week 1 to week 3 let's say, that will motivste her into thinking she capable of losing weight.
Evrm better if you go on same diet as her to make it a team effort (silly this is what it may take) but it'll get her in good emotional state
a bit fleshy 🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂 maybe she is problematic usually when i'm heartbroken for exqmple i lose the desire to lose weight i just don't care anymore that kind of feelinh next issue is probably because she feels ill and she blamed not eatinh enough as the cause to feel ill more. related to this is she doesn't even know whwn she is full. i have this issie i can discipline myself to stop eatinh but I don't know if i've eaten enough for my body. i just feel mire ill and i can't also say that my suspicion isn't true because there are times when i immediately grab something to eat i feel better. i indeed didn't eat enough. so my solution is to eat sweet potatoes or potatoes because these are low calories. basically my issue is i'm fine eatinh only a certain portion as long as i don't get sick
Marish, don't pick on Sheena. She didn't do anything. Lol
I see you got some bad rep from this question, like most do. But I'd assume the fact that there is even a question then that proves you do care.
You like/love her enough to tell her straight. If you couldn't or wouldn't then there'd be worse problems down the line. You can love someone and not be physically attracted to them, but honestly we'd want to be and there's nothing wrong with wanting health for your SO.
My advice to you is to make it a team-activity. Do it together. Go for runs, visit the gym or play a sport. A nicer way of saying weak-willed is that she has bad dicipline which has more to do with how she see herself and maybe try building her up as a team will do her some good.
Did you get with her when she was already like this? Then that's on you buddy. So best to end it and find someone who you feel more attracted to.
If not, and she let herself go during the relationship, then you have every right to want her to lose some weight. Especially if you yourself take your fitness seriously. Don't let the snowflakes in the comments guilt-trip you for having a preference. Often you'll find that these are the same people who fit in the fat-category. So they're attacking you out of personal offense.
All you can do is motivate her to go (go with her), change some things in the fridge, unload the snack cabinet and have some consistency in eating healthy and exercise. Her weight will drop on its own.
Don't let people tell you that "love is conditional" (it's not) and that you should "love her just the way she is". Those are fatzos guilt-tripping and gaslighting you.
You’re not a bad partner because you want her to lose weight, you’re a bad partner because of the reason WHY you want her to lose weight. If it was because you cared about her health or what SHE thought and wanted it would be fine. But If you wanted someone skinnier, you should have dated someone skinnier instead from the very beginning. However, if SHE really wants to lose weight and is having a hard time, be supportive to her, encourage and work out with her, cook healthy meals for her etc.
So he is a bad person because he wants to feel more attracted to his girlfriend? And in order for that to happen it requires her to lose some weight? So he is bad because he wants to work it through with her, and giving her the equipment (gym membership) to make a start instead of just end the relationship or even cheat with someone who is slimmer?
Just say you're triggered because a man prefers a more slim girl rather than buy into the "You should love me just the way I am" BS.
@TruthBringer
Yes, he's still a bad person XD Did you think I would change my response? His attraction to her is a personal problem. If she doesn't want to lose the weight for herself then she shouldn’t because I’m willing to bet he isn't doing anything to make himself more attractive for her. If he’s a cheater he’s scum and like I said in my original response, if he wants someone slim, he should go find one, AKA break up.
@Yazu-chan
Lol, like I care if you change your response. If you're eager to stay closed-minded, that's your prerogative. He better off to just end it with her and find himself a slim girl who takes her health and fitness seriously. But the notion that someone who wants their significant other to lose weight being a "bad person" is just idiocy to say the least.
Just as @Marish01 said, sexual attraction is important.
@TruthBringer
Like I said, he can go find a slim girl, it’s that easy.
@Yazu-chan Agreed.
@marish01 Trust me, even if he did, he will still get a lot of backlash. Because God forbid a guy has a preference for healthy in-shape women.
@TruthBringer You think I ask questions out of nothing? Lol
@marish01 Nah I know lol
@marish01
Listen, a man will never be satisfied it doesn’t matter how in shape, pretty, kind and helpful a woman is. They always want more and will still do what they want anyway without consideration for her. So, what I’m saying is if the woman doesn’t want to lose weight, she shouldn’t have to to appease a man. (Because according to his post, her losing weight is purely for his needs) If he feels so strongly about it, he can bounce. And she can find someone who will actually care for her. So, there’s no need to judge them for leaving, hey, she’ll be better off without him and will likely experience a glow up without him 😂
@Yazu-chan That's funny, sounds like you're talking about women. Women are also notorious for always wanting more. Hence why the saying goes 'You give a woman an inch, she will take a mile". So many hardworking men providing for their women only to get cheated on or have their women say that they are "losing interest".
So perhaps it's more of a HUMAN trait rather than a gender one, no?
Also, if it takes a break up for her to have a glow-up, then that means he is most definitely making the right choice of breaking up. That means she was never truly invested or serious about him to even do the work when he is around. Meaning, she didn't care what he thought of her. So much for "love" eh?
@TruthBringer
Nope. Definitely talking about men. They create the problem and is always trying to control a woman.
@Yazu-chan Funny enough could be said about women as well. But hey, whatever helps you cope ;)
@marish01 Yeah, the self-contradiction is palpable with misandrists 🤣
Bingo! Note that in my comment I never said she should find a “man”. I said she should find “someone” who actually cares for her. She can find someone who likes her for her, and looks out for her best interest, and if weight loss happens to be one of her goals then they can support her in that. And IF that person happens to be a man who is a decent human being then, it’ll be a modern miracle!
Yes you are. You knew exactly how fat she was when you decided to be with her so to come forward now and want her to lose weight to get more attractive is not ok. You don’t get with someone hoping or pushing them to change, you accept them as they are or you shouldn’t have gotten together with her in the first place.
I agree with miss, Anonymous on this.
You are a bad partner not because of the weight thing but because you write (and think) "I love... ... but...".
Love is unconditional. If it has conditions on it it's not really love.
Louder, man!
I feel sorry for her. The weight isn't the problem, the boyfriend is!
Love is not unconditional. There are always conditions for love to flourish. If love was unconditional, then everyone's standards and preferences would be tossed out of the window. And that's when you will see a lot more dysfunction in the world than there already is.
In order to be able to love, the requirements of love must be met. Respect, communication, bonding, working together, showing affection, etc. This whole "love is unconditional" is the reason why so many people are stuck in abusive relationships. Stop the gaslighting nonsense.
If this bothers you that much, break up with her.
Easy.
Yes, you will look like a jackass, because you are, going into a relationship thinking you can change someone, childish and immature.
She can definitely do better.
*Now, if you wanted her to lose weight for her health, and not for the way she looks, this would be a different story, but still entirely up to her, not you.
Nah he should definitely break up with her. No man worth his salts is going to want to stick around with a weak-willed individual who doesn't take her health seriously. If she actually cared about her own health and cared enough about the way he sees her, she would put in the effort.
Instead, it sounds like he got a lazy bum hanging around his arms. So for HIS sake, he should just find someone who is in shape and takes care of her. Nothing immature about wanting a partner who looks attractive and takes their fitness seriously.
@TruthBringer Your name is ironic as you fail to see the actual issue here...
But have a lovely day. :)
@LittleSally Your reply is a classic cop-out of someone who doesn't have the intellectual capacity to produce a valid counter-argument. Have a lovely coping day ;)
She is suffering from " fat acceptance " and frankly it shows in her personality , you purchased the gym membership she wouldn't use it , she can't commit to a lifestyle that would work , she has " fat attitude " and that means its going to get worse , Id get rid of her frankly , she'll never be any good. No discipline.
Association is everything , thsi woman will only ever bring you down.
Well said. This whole fat-acceptance thing is bollocks. Glad I found me a woman who takes her health and fitness seriously and doesn't buy into the fat-acceptance crap. That's why I stay away from chubby/fat girls.
@TruthBringer
Yeah , I think like it or not , it does extend into other areas of life , if she's a Chubby , lets be honest its an attitude. My reasoning is same as yours , its pretty dam clear its general health and taking care of ones self , everything you put into your body.
@molonski2 Indeed, someone's weight can say a lot about their attitude, mentality and lifestyle. It's a sign of having poor impulse control and poor long-term thinking skills. It's really not that hard to shove a burger or a snack down your throat and simply choose to eat something healthy and in a smaller portion. People make it such a big deal to lose weight. I've spoken to people who lost significant weight and they themselves think poorly of people who make excuses.
I would much rather have a significant other who takes their health seriously than someone who doesn't. That's most definitely going to drip onto your kids.
@TruthBringer GIANT TICK , and so very important , especially for the future generations you mention.
Have you discussed that with her?
Maybe you both should work at losing weight (or gaining).
Don't be an asshole about it, just mention you want to start working out with her or a new diet plan. Work with her.
If she doesn't want to lose weight and you'd rather be single, cut it off.
And you got date ideas. BOOM! I'm the man. Ladies, call me.
There's nothing wrong with caring about your girlfriend's health, her c serif image, or in trying to encourage her in a positive way (which sounds like you have).
I don't know why she "can't" loser weight. There are many possibilities. I recommend trying new recipes together and dining out less.
I'm sorry. I promise that I proofread what I wrote. I think it's time for me to retire my 7 yo phone.
because she's not doing the right things or she doesn't want to. everyone "can" lose weight.
you're perfectly entitled to want a partner that stays in shape fo you. i'm assuming you'd do the same so nothing wrong with it. maybe go with her. and cook together with her too, cause diet is the bigger part of weight loss.
So tricky, my daughter was like this, hated herself wanted to loose weight but lacked any motivation and would just give up all the time. We went on the aitkens diet together so ‘we’ could keep on track. She has some lost half of her body weight.
I think you need to be more supportive and understanding. Maybe ask her about what she'd like to do or why she doesn't use the gym membership. Maybe offer to go with her so she doesn't have to do it alone. As someone who ended up gaining a ton of weight and struggling to lose it by myself, I can assure you that being supportive would really help her. Or... Maybe the weight she needs to lose is you?
You are kind of a bad partner. You knew what you were getting into. She was probably already that weight so wanting her to lose it to look better. Bit fucked up yeah.
Why can't she lose it, maybe because she hasn't found the right or a fun way to lose it.
Some people have metabolic disorders like thyroid conditions which actually slows their metabolism making it even harder to lose weight, it’s not always that simple
You can't change someone who doesn't want to change.
And if they don't want to go to the gym, then buying her a gym membership she probably deems to be pretty insulting.
I guess you can be honest with her about how you feel.
But for the most part, you'll either have to accept her for how she is, or move on.
If you care for her and she desires to change, keep giving her a loving push in the right direction. Sometimes we need help to fight our weaknesses and takes someone who cares to help. Just make sure to more tactful about it. You’ll know when someone needs some tough love or just love.
She’s gonna have to find a way to do this if it’s something she is setting her mind to do. If it’s a problem with her motivation then she’ll have to find a way to get motivated. Pushing her to do something, in this case, won’t help.
Plus, let’s be honest, the gym membership was not a gift for her - it was a gift for you and you are using it to shame her for not “appreciating” your generous gift.
I think it's hilarious how all of these people are basically saying "don't date fat chicks if you don't like fat chicks.". (As if being overweight is an identity and not a temporary circumstance. 🙄 )
Well, OK, then! I guess we won't! I guess y'all will have to stay single! 🤷
So much for not being superficial and actually giving someone a chance. Geez.
I hate when people do this. You’re not actually giving them chance. You’re doing it for you’re on benefits. You make them think you’re interested when in reality you’re not. Leading someone on like that is one of the cruelest things you can do. You’re basically telling them, “I won’t be attracted to you until you lose weight but I won’t leave you.” And you’re engraving that into your partner’s mind.
@Sasha0426 Oh, so HE's being selfish? Even though he picks a woman who isn't in her prime form, because he wants the best for her and he believes in her?
Gtfooh
@Sasha0426 No. He's not leading anyone on. He's leading her to better health.
“She’ll look more attractive if she lost weight.” Those were his words. If he was so concerned about her health, he would’ve leave that part out. But, he’s not worried at all. He’s worried about his image and what people think. He should’ve went with a woman that was already skinny.
Sasha, I don't hate you at all! Damn 🫤
It's objectively true that people look more attractive when they lose weight. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with someone wanting their partner to look attractive. Women want their husbands to look attractive, too.
And that’s probably why she doesn’t do anything to lose weight. In her mind, she has to do it for him or he’ll leave. She probably calls herself disgusting and ugly everyday and doesn’t believe she deserves love. She probably even asks herself why’s he with her if he finds her so hideous. She’s waiting for him to end the relationship so he can find someone who he actually is attracted to. Hell, I would do the same. Or even end the relationship myself.
@Sasha0426 Prime form is prime form. Look at Jonah Hill now, for example. Does he not look better than he used to look?
@Sasha0426 I disagree. People need to stop being so sensitive and getting offended by everything all the time.
If all of that is true, then I think that she should get counseling. That would probably benefit her a lot. She's got way too many deep-seeded issues going on there. She needs to find emotional healing for her insecurities.
No, she definitely had them already.
And let's not assume the worst, please.
@Sasha0426 Do you actually think that he should stay with her?
If she can't be responsible and make wise choices and take care of herself now, what makes you think that she is going to do so later?
@Sasha0426 I don't think having such a negative outlook is helpful to anyone.
If we're going to be defeatist, then we might as well ALL give up! Right now. On everything.
@Sasha0426 You can be attractive and still fat. A lot of people with good genes develop bad eating habits as children.
She deserves someone better than you. Try being a real man and appreciating her for who she is and not what you want her to be.
First they date overweight people and then expect them to change. Is this shoujo manga arc? Lmao.
"Weak willed" is just "I don't want to" without taking responsibility. Women don't lose weight for their men, they lose weight to find a new one. The "newly single diet" is pretty much the only one I've seen work consistently.
Buying her a gym membership is like if you bought her make up. You are making her more insecure of her own insecurities
Even though you think you are being a good partner you are acting like an awful one. Be supportive, if she wants to lose weight then let her do it in her own way even if she has trouble losing it.
Just remind her how lovely, amazing and beautiful she is
I hope she punched you in the face when she opened the birthday card and instead of a gift card from a fancy restaurant she found instead a gym membership/
A person changes whwn they want to change i lost weight in order to win a girl it ended up failing but i got six pack 3 years later. My parents used to force me i didn't do it but when u wanted it bad i did . I guess forcing isn't a good way. Plus its not bad i feel as long as losing fat for her is sustainable and goof for her in long run.
jeuss chr- maybe you should just end it. If you can't handle for your "girlfriend" to not lose weight to your will, then you don't need her. If she wanna lose weight, she will.
She has to want it, but if this is you forcing her then it won't go over well. To add to that, why don't you take initiative?
Lead by going to the gym on your own time and workout and encourage her to join you as motivation.
Wait, if you’re into skinny women, why didn’t you go with someone that is skinny? Why would you purposely choose someone you know you’re not attracted to?
@Sasha0426 Because maybe we're attracted to other things besides a person's weight? 🤷
I don't think she wants to lose weight. Or at least not as much as you want her to lose weight. If you don't like her body, break up. Cut the theatrics!
Try doing fun activities with her and suggesting cooking healthy meals together. I would also try altering the food she eats with healthier options.
A bit fleshy lol
You can't get her to do it in her own. You're gonna have to workout together, or find an active hobby the two of you can do together. Hiking, biking, that kinda stuff
No you are not a bad partner for wanting her to lose weight. You are a good partner for wanting her to have a good BMI and concerned for her health. That's your line :)
the only weight she needs to lose is (enter your lbs) of loser, because yes you are a bad partner and don't deserve anyone
"she is a bit fleshy and I believe she would be much more attractive if she lost weight" is where you lose all your good intention on this, by the way.
Get both of you out training at the same time. If that fails your out of luck an needs to go for a fit women instead.
And if she said this to you, what would you say? If she thought you’d be more attractive if you lost weight?
Well sounds like she can’t lose weight because she doesn’t want to enough to be motivated. You can encourage y’all to start a healthy life style but you really can’t force it.
No, you're not bad, you have preferences.
If you care about her, and you and her want her to lose weight, you're going to have to hold her hand with losing weight until she loses some to gain confidence.
Changer her environment to make fat loss easier.
Buy more healthy foods and put unhealhty stuff out of sight or out of the house.
Find out some activity you guys can do together, walks, badminton, wall climbing etc.
Without knowing anything about your girfriend's situation, it ould be a thyroid thing.
It's not bad to want your partner to lose a bit of weight especially if they put the weight on during the relationship. Fact is if she doesn't have the drive there's not much you can do.
using your own logic here. are women dumb for being more emotional?
Perhaps there is something wrong with her hormonal system or something like that you should probably go to a doctor to get a medical check up
Considering she wants to lose weight, have you thought of making it a group activity?
Diet is key... lay off the carbs and eat small meals a few times a day.. you need to burn more calories then you consume
I'd like to have some private sessions with her to help her get to the root of the problem.
For me, I removed all the carbs and dropped 50 lbs. No exercise.
Why do you care? You got with her knowing her body and now it’s a problem?
You are not a bad partner for wanting her to lose weight. You are a bad partner because you want her to lose weight for the wrong reasons
I think you need to suffer as a single man
You support her instead of making her feel like 💩
maybe she has emotional eating
What about liposuction?
The woman in the photo looks perfect to me
Chubby girls are beautiful.
You ever think she is happy
Not everything is about you
And not everything is about her either. He has the right to have a preference and feel happy as well. Stop making everything about women. Men are just as important.
Everything isn't about women there is give and take in every relationship. there are loads about you that isn't perfect so don't throw stones when you live in a glass house.
@Luckycharms12 Telling someone not to throw stones when living in a glass house applies to someone pointing to someone else's flaws while neglecting their own. That's not applicable when it comes to this topic. The topic is a bout a guy who asks whether he is a bad person for wanting his significant other to lose excess weight. And people here are telling him that he is. Unironically, some users who I KNOW are overweight themselves. It's a defense mechanism.
The reason why I mentioned to stop making it about her is because society is so fixated on catering to women's feelings and insecurities. While neglecting that of a man. Men also have the right to have preferences and shouldn't be shamed for having them.
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