Should I give him another chance? please help?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year, and he loves me deeply, he does everything in his power to treat me like a queen; however, there has been some instances where for example, we get into a heated argument, and he doesn’t give me the space I need too. I have gone on vacations away from him, and however we use to get into arguments and many problems, where I would never catch a break from him when I needed it the most. Even a good example, he cheated on me because he never believed I was “serious in our relationship” one time, and when I asked him for time away from him, he refused my personal space because he believed that time away from him would mean that he would lose me, I firmly believe it has caused me to build a sort of resentment for him, because I never expressed the love he gives me back. It’s something he complains about all the time, but when I express that it’s best if we separate; he tells me no, and he doesn’t mind that I don’t give him attention, and I should at least “try”. He says we both have faults in this, but we should learn from our faults if we both “really love each other”, and isn’t letting me rest because he believes he needs to fight for me. As a person with no guidance in my family about relationships and this being my first, words he say can easily brainwash me. I just don’t know if it’s worth seeking a relationship If the initial feelings aren’t there anymore.

[smashleyy]

No you sound trauma bonded I think you should call quits for the sake of your mental health and safety. A man that tries to say you can’t break up with him might seem sweet at first but it can turn sour very fast and a man that cheats doesn’t truly love you. A lot of what you said kinda reminds me of my ex in a less extreme way. It was hard for me to leave my abusive relationship cause I didn’t even realize it was abusive cause the abuse was entwined with over acts of affection, flowers, love letters, nice gestures, paragraphs of apologies (Apologies with no changed behaviour or behaviour improvement for just a week or so are just manipulation tactics if they feel like they’re losing you). When we’d get into a argument he’d threaten to self harm or if I begged him to give me space he’d refuse followed by consistently getting in my face/ throwing a tantrum that included crying, begging on his knees, slamming his head into things. If your relationship at all resembles what I just described about mine you need to get out. I didn’t have a support system and I ended up over staying my welcome in that situation which led to a shit ton of unnecessary baggage and trauma

[Zarapeachy]

It’s not healthy. You already reached the resentment stage. And he cheated? So is the trust still there? Yes separation is agreed upon both parties but you wish to separate, you don’t exactly need him to agree. You expressed your concerns and needs in an appropriate manner, how he chooses to deal with it is not your concern. You’re not bounded to him. Wish him well and cut contact etc

[Twalli]

Tell him that he doesn't need to fight for you, you're his girlfriend, he already won you. The fight is over.

[ImalwaysrightOK]

I stopped at "he cheated on me". No more chances.

[CarolinaJones]

No. I believe they are toxic and its not going to lead into a healthy relationship. Better to find someone else.

[EmmaMary]

Please always remember that A Leopard Never Changes Its Spots.

[NostalgiaSenpi]

No, he cheated on you.