Why didn't he give me a chance?

[Anonymous]

So back on November 11th I met this guy on a dating site. We hungout like three times. Then he always seemed kinda cold but would message me everyday. Never seemed to want to hanougt. One day he said he would make me dinner for the fourth date. I went over to his house and he made me dinner. Was super awkward. He never tried to kiss or cuddle me. We sat on opposite sides of the couch. Told me if he had a spare bedroom I could sleep in there. So I went home quite upset. He messaged me the next day. So confused. He kept messaging me for another two weeks. I should have said stop messaging me but I never did. He sent a message last week saying we should hangout before I go on my big holiday. I said sure if you want. He said okay will you make me dinner. I said no cause of how cold he has been. I am not cooking for him. Anyways he said he would cook but not on the weekend as he was flat busy. Anyways he never messaged me all weekend. Sunday night he messaged and said he had a nice relaxing weekend. Then said how was your weekend. Then said sorry have to raincheck on dinner something came up. Then I decided not to reply and I was like I am done. I also unfollowed him. Well 24 hours after sending that message and the day we are suppose to have dinner he posted a photo of him and his new girlfriend. It is beyond hurtful. I am so upset that he would do that. He messaged me all week the week before. Why is he such a you know what. Not to sound rude but he is so unattractive and so is his new girlfriend. I am so hurt by this. My self esteem is so bad. Please help me feel better.

[Oliverlogan263]

I totally get why you're so hurt and frustrated right now. That whole situationship with that guy sounds super messed up and confusing. It was really shitty of him to string you along for weeks with his hot and cold behavior and lack of effort.

Then to suddenly ghost you and post about a new girlfriend right after canceling plans? That's a seriously low move on his part. You did the right thing going no contact cause obviously he had no idea what he even wanted.

Try not to take it personally though - his issues have nothing to do with your attractiveness or self-worth. He's just an inconsiderate player. You deserve way better than that - someone who proudly takes you out and treats you with respect.

Don't let this dumbass live rent-free in your head. Surround yourself with real friends who appreciate you. And when you're ready, put yourself back out there to meet people who are actually interested in you, not just wasting your time. This too shall pass, stay strong!

[Fireguy17]

so you hung out 3 times, he made some plans/promises and did not follow through, then you said no to getting together at your place because of how he treated you, then you stopped communicating with him and dumped him, and then he shows up with someone new a day after you said you were through with him and now you are upset that he moved on.
If you look back at this it didn't seem like it had any kind of a future from the start.
I didn't see anything that said you were exclusive, and he moved on.
I'm not sure why you felt the need to continue to follow him after you unfollowed him and saw the picture he posted even though you said you were done.
So were you done or not?
He could have said I just don't see a future in us being together would have been the polite thing to do, then you would have known where you stood, but you made the decision that you were done with him and he moved on.
It sounds like you are better off without him if he treats people that way so you should move on as well and stop setting yourself up for disappointment by following what he is up to and move on yourself.
What did you expect him to do, stay with you longer even though he just wasn't into you?
I get that the broken promises are tough, but it didn't seem like the both of you were not all that into each other.

[Anonymous]

If you are incapable of basic communication, you are not ready for any kind of relationship. This obsession with messaging kills any potential chance of a relationship happening. Sad.

[ImalwaysrightOK]

He sounds like he's inexperienced and wants to get to know you before making moves. I don't understand why girls want action so fast nowadays. What's wrong with getting to know someone first? 😞

[ImalwaysrightOK]

*wanted

[Asker]

He never gave me a chance. He picked another girl over me.