My husband said I’m an 8, should I be upset?

[Anonymous]

He’s wrong.

He’s Right.

He’s wrong.

[Leapfrog00]

Everyone sees beauty differently. What may look beautiful to one person may not look the opposite to someone else. Investing time to worry about looks usually causes self-esteem issues.

I had a friend once that could basically get any guy she wanted because she had blonde hair, blue eyes, thin build, nice legs, and perfect skin. One day she had a crush on this guy and when he said he wasn't interested, she asked why? He told her, "You're beautiful, you have a beautiful smile, a hot body, and pretty eyes, but we have nothing in common, and plus, you're so used to getting any man you want, it's a turn off for me. sorry." She was so hurt, she cried for 3 days.

My point is though, just be careful investing time in worrying about your looks. Not every person is going to find you 100% attractive. Honestly, when I talk to a girl who is all about her looks, I start finding her less attractive. What matters is how you treat others, as well as your husband, what type of person you are, how much you care about him.

I don't know how this came up, but if you're the one who asked him what he would rate you, at least he was being honest. I know guys have to lie and tell girls what they want to hear, lol. I've been in enough relationships to know that golden rule, but doing that throws honesty out the window.

The important thing is not how others see you, but how you see yourself. Only you can decide if you're beautiful. Other people's opinions don't matter.

[razelove]

Wrong, I'd say a 5-7 depending on your age, body (can't tell from your baggy outfit), and the standards of your local area. The market determines demand after all. Anyway, 8 and up you can get into modelling, you can't model with that fivehead, poorly plucked eyebrows, split ends, poor coordination of your outfit, so on and so forth. You obviously are not a model as you have an HID card for a key swipe at your job.

I'd say I'm a 6, and have modeled before, but the bar is lower for men as fewer men do try to model. It isn't something I'm saying to try to hurt your feelings, but a number system exists for an objective measurement. a 10 would be like helen of troy catastrophic beauty, 5 average, and 1 nauseatingly ugly. Most everyone we meet will fall somewhere between a 3-7 as each step by one number is a pretty large one, which isn't a bad thing at all.

[7Phoenix7]

Ouch

[Sasha0426]

You say you’re not saying all that to hurt her feelings, but you just plain insulted her. Like, you’re trying to make her feel bad about herself where she’ll become depressed.

[Sasha0426]

And you’re not a 6, by the way.

[razelove]

@Sasha0426 Fair, that's your judgement. I'm not saying anything about her personality or what not because I have no clue nor is the question about those. This is a 1-10 rating of looks based on one picture.

[Sasha0426]

But, to go all out like that? Did you have the need to be that harsh?

[razelove]

Whatever else she has going on is none of my business, this question is only about looks.
Please point out where I have been biased or inaccurate in my assessment. I don't invite criticism of myself or fish for compliments too often because I'm very well aware that around my pond of wonderful is an ocean of stink.

[AlexisDiani]

WOW, I guess we are lucky that's just your opinion.

[Anemone978]

At least your husband told you the truth mine used to tell me he thinks I am the most beautiful girl he has ever seen.. and I'm not even all that, a lot of people rated me as a 4 since I am kind of dorky looking and fat. The only reason I could see your husband tell you that is you are being cocky about yourself or he was mad at you.

[aoihewgf]

There's no right answer. Ever.
You either lying or being an ass.

[Anemone978]

@aoihewgf True.. and it might have been his truth...
beauty is in the eye of the beholder... so who knows..

[Sasha0426]

Did you want him to call you fat and ugly?

[Anemone978]

@Sasha0426 No but cute would suffice not a blatant lie lol

[ShellyB]

I did not answer the poll bc I don't think it is important how I would rate you, I think to your husband, you should be a 10 and I would say that about any husband and wife. So yes I would personally be upset even though being super honest, 8 may be accurate, that is not the point. JMO!

[AviatorTom]

Why are you upset. An 8 is very pretty and attractive.

[Asker]

No, not necessarily upset. More like I married someone who is a 10 in my eyes.
I don’t think I’m a “10” it’s subjective and relative to who is doing the rating.
It made me feel like he objectifies other women who are a 10 but landed with me, the 8. If that makes sense?

[Jay3344]

That makes sense…for a husband to say that means he was just caught in a moment of pure shallowness without thought. You’re his 10 but an 8 in the world maybe…who knows. Anything above a 7 is still a compliment.

[VikingWarLord]

@CherryDee I've banged over 500+, done P0RN and dated models.

A "10" doesn't exist, especially when the makeup comes off.

I'm even hard pressed to rate any chic a "9".

[HippieVeganJewslim]

@VikingWarLord You reckon so because You’ve never seen my Flower Girl.

[Finchie40]

Yes for the simple fact your husband should be saying you are a 10 , you are the girl he choose to marry , you are supposed to be his number 1 priority, the fact that he isn’t putting you on a top scale just shows he finds other girls more attractive then you and could leave some question of concern as to why he doesn’t look at you that way? So What do you rate him on the scale? Overall , how is your marriage with him? Do you butt heads with him a lot , does he easily get annoyed with you? How is your sex life with him? Some guys don’t like rating their partners on a high scale mainly for commitment reasons Most guys feel if they rate their girlfriend’s or wives on a high scale then she will eventually loose interest in him , I know it sounds crazy , but that’s how most men think , especially if they had their heart shit on before by a girl they treated like a Princess , Most girl’s don’t like when a guy is obsessed with her , always complementing her and telling her she is beautiful , in the beginning she loves it but as time goes on she tends to get bored having her man constantly treating her like she is the best thing in the world sadly most girls will tend to start losing interest in him and be drawn to some other guy that comes off as a bad boy , When a girl cheats on her man her excuse usually is because her man was too nice to her , there was no challenge she is annoyed by how in masculine he become , Sadly most girl’s love the opposite of what they already have , if she has a guy that is always good to her and treats her like a princess she will eventually be drawn to a bad boy and vice versa , For a guy to keep a girl by his side he basically has to balance between good and bad or she will lose interest in him , based off my experiences with girls’ that was usually the case , when I learned to balance between good and bad my relationships with girls’ would last longer because I would keep her on her toes having her question whether I was into her or not , I shouldn’t be telling you this cuz I am blowing my chances with girls’ lol But sadly this shit has worked for me , You girls need that challenge, you need the drama in your lives , it’s what turns a girl on , Most girl’s want a man she can look up to not a man where she feels like she is babysitting him , or weak , Most girls are drawn to a guy’s masculine energy and his confidence , and his personality , she wants to be submissive to a man she can look up to , When a guy starts kissing her ass and constantly gives to her , she will start looking at him as he is weak and not confident , his masculine energy disappears making her drawn to another guy that she feels is more dominant and masculine. Again I know this sounds crazy but it works for me lol so maybe your husband doesn’t want to put you on that pedestal for that reason.

[BoopBoopBeep]

An 8 is very complimentary. The average women is a 5. If you were a 10 you'd be on the cover of Mademoiselle or working for Maybellene, and their badges look different. Women need to stop thinking 5 is an insult. By definition most women are 5s. I'd put you at a strong 6, because you are more attractive than the majority of women out there. It says more about your ego that you think you're above an 8 and would even think about being offended by that. If you think you're a 10 then you're delusional. There's a reason you haven't had to fight off international modeling gigs. Too much InstaSimping out there giving people a heightened sense of self.

[thenameless22]

It doesn't matter what anybody here thinks because we're not your husband. But if your husband thinks you're anything less than the most beautiful woman in the world, then there's a problem. Some possible reasons:

1) You've let yourself go/got fat/plain/boring

2) You just don't take care of yourself/don't want to take care of yourself

3) Your husband doesn't think as highly of you as he should

If it's 1 or 2, then you can change that. If it's 3, then why did your husband marry anything less than a 10 in his eyes? Did he "settle"? Is he looking at other women/porn? Mid-life crisis making him question his life choices?

Only you can know.

[stepyo99]

A 10 is young Catherine Zeta Jones or Jennifer Connelly. You are average, which isn't anything to whine about because the vast majority of people are average looking.

"I married someone who is a 10 in my eyes." I doubt it. There are very likely many men who are more physically attractive than your husband. You married him because he was the best you could get, which again isn't bad, it's just reality. This kind of behavior about how he has to think you look like a 10 is obsessive. There are better things to be doing with your time.

[Quackthulu2]

Hold up, you are pissed at the guy because when he complimented you it wasn't as big of a compliment as you wanted? You do realize that make you a crazy person, right?

[Anonymous]

Well what do you want honesty from him like women want from men or so you want him to lie to you? Very confusing when women want the truth but get hurt when the truth isn’t what they want to hear. I’d give you a 6, but that’s based purely on your facial features. If we’re talking physically speaking I’d have to see what your backside looks like. A little makeup could bump that number up, but I’d also want to know your personality. You’re much older as well, yes I’m older too I get that. There’s a lot of factors that would play into this. We could go purely based off of looks or a combination of things. I get that women want to be seen as a 10 by their man, that in his eyes there’s no other woman on the face of this earth but her. In all honesty what were you expecting him to say?

[Spongebobssocks]

Why? 8 is a high number. When men rate they are being logical. 5 is avarage (not bad, not good). You are 3 points higher and 2 points from perfect. You should be happy.

[Lionman95]

How do you wanna rate that? I wouldn´t be upset you could ask him what it takes to be a 10 to him but I wouldn´t give much on those ratings because those ratings are just numbers.
It would be different if he said there are more beautiful women than you because numbers alone don´t tell that.

[Asker]

He did say that! Also, that I’m not as pretty as I think I am.

[Eventhorizon23]

Now that's just a rude comment from him lol I'd never say something like that to a woman I love. On a positive note, maybe he thinks only your looks are an 8, but your personality and the way you treat him makes you a 10 and perfect for him. I mean he married you!

[Lionman95]

Ok that's rude and I would tell him that you're hurt by what he said. I would give him the feedback to help him understand your perspective and how you see yourself in the relationship.

[EricSummer]

If you asked him to rate your appearance then I think this is an acceptable answer unless there was a way to dodge the question.

You are obviously pretty, but going for 10 would be too obvious flattery. 8 is a solidly high number that could be close to what he honestly thinks, considering also that he's likely in love with you.

So he made no mistake.

Vanity carries it's risk, so maybe try and focus more on other things to be proud of.

[ratking63]

I wouldn't be upset. You're a very pretty woman, I would rate you higher (if we must use a 1-10 scale)

However, you're husband loves you & has spent more time with you, so I wouldn't worry about it. Looks are looks, but it's really the love that matters.

[TheorionMage]

You BEGIN with what Nature's genetics gave you... as a female, you ASSESS your 'audience'.
Naive 'innocent', ... Machiavellian seductress, ... sadistic vixen.
ALL females AFFECT their 'audiences' and... DEPENDING upon YOUR intent, you EXPLOIT their prejudices---
THOSE 'life skills' are collectively termed: 'Glamoury' and USE your Beau's prejudices to ensnare by their appetites, not unlike a 'catch-or-release' sport fisherman.

[RavVid]

It is a relative scale to the beholder (husband). So you don't get a vote.

For amusement I have watched youtubes of girls rating themselves and despite obesity they all gave themselves a 10. So if 10 is the average than 10 is 5 by definition.

I would never give a 10, reserving that score. 9 is semi-reserved. I think you should be happy with an 8 from your husband and myself!

[AsaKyo]

At least he's not making fun of your hair, calling you a derogatory slur and is talking shit because you're not some rail, skinny Asian girl with no curves like the ones he watches on YouTube

I'd rather my boyfriend/husband love me for who I am and man, being an 8 to him would be great

[TiaraGlitzNeon]

Most guys don't even like the rail thin skinny look anyways, a lot of guys are more prone to insulting THAT because most guys prefer curves.

[aoihewgf]

I'm going to assume you asked him to rate you, and he foolishly played your stupid game where there is no right answer.

Are you an 8? If we consider only 42 yr old women, you might actually be. 10 is perfect, and/or top single digit few. Being an 8, though is beyond crazy good.

Now, let's consider how every guy would actually rate.. 42yrs down to 18yrs, and in this case, you are crazy enough still above average at your age (based on this single picture) but at most a 6.

[Kinkyhubby]

Did you ask him to give you a number? Or did he just give you it? I think 8 is great. If he is being honest I definitely said solid 8, if I was him I would have said "your always a 10 in my eyes sexy" but that is me. You do have a great smile by the way.

[Jay3344]

If you want to be shallow then yes an 8 basically in the face. Body counts too and so does age, kids, health, past, finance, etc… most people aren’t above a 7 so being an 8 is great. Think about it this way, looks wise most beautiful celebrities are 8’s just with fame to help them become a little more. What do you think you are?

[altaboy]

When you think about it, 8 is quite good. Imagine it this way: 10 is perfect, and it might as well be infinity because it is unattainable. Nobody is a 10. 9 is you at your absolute physical peak, like 21 year old you. 8 is probably the best rating he'd give anyone realistically.

I'm just trying to get into the mindset. Do not fear, you rock his world (as you should!)!

[LiamJHayden]

Different people have different ideas of the 1-10 scale, so it depends on how his works. To me, 10 would be perfection. Absolutely unattainable for a human. Most people are 4-6 on my scale. Perfectly acceptable, but average looking. I rate myself here. 7 would be gorgeous. 8 is stunning. I do not think I've seen more than one 9 in my life.

[abc3643]

I don't care about numbers but will simply say this:

You look fabulous and if 43 is your real age, you look really fabulous!

[abc3643]

Welcome to GirlsAskGuys by the way. We abbreviate it as G@G.

[abc3643]

You look like Diane Lane and, seriously, who doesn't love Diane Lane? I stop flipping channels when Diane Lane appears.