So these people are just doomed? Their partners leave them because they're unbearable and abusive. And everyone says they can't change. Why can't they change? If it's mental illness it can be kept on check to some extent right?
What would be real signs of change in them. I left my husband for the 2nd time in 3 months of our marriage and he's begging and apologizing but he makes me suffer so horribly. And I don't feel he's changing. He's only talking about how his suffering in the last few days have madehim realize my worth. I think maybe he misses me so saying all that but if I go back he'll go back to the same shit.
Also people who are narcissistw and emotional abusers do they have any common mental illness that are common in mkst of them?
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
1Opinion
It is a common belief that narcissists or emotional abusers rarely change their behavior, and there are several reasons for this perception:
Lack of insight: Narcissists and emotional abusers often have difficulty recognizing their own harmful behavior. They may lack self-awareness and fail to understand the impact of their actions on others.
Defensiveness and denial: When confronted with their abusive behavior, narcissists and emotional abusers may become defensive and deny any wrongdoing. They may shift blame onto others or minimize the severity of their actions.
Manipulation tactics: These individuals may employ manipulation tactics to maintain control and power over their partners. They may use apologies, promises of change, or love bombing as a means to keep their victims engaged in the relationship without actually making lasting changes.
Deep-seated patterns: Narcissistic and abusive behavior often stems from deeply ingrained patterns developed over time. These patterns can be resistant to change without significant self-reflection, therapy, and personal growth.
While it is possible for individuals with these tendencies to change, it requires genuine willingness to address their harmful behaviors and seek professional help. However, change is a challenging and long-term process, and it cannot be guaranteed in every case.
When assessing whether someone is genuinely changing, look for the following signs:
Acceptance of responsibility: Genuine change begins with acknowledging and taking responsibility for one's actions. The person must recognize the harm they have caused and show genuine remorse.
Consistent effort: Sustainable change requires consistent effort over time. It involves actively working on personal growth, seeking therapy or counseling, and developing healthier coping mechanisms.
Respect for boundaries: A person who is changing will demonstrate respect for your boundaries and actively work on understanding and meeting your needs. They will make an effort to create a safe and healthy environment for both of you.
Improved communication: Healthy communication is essential in any relationship. Look for improved listening skills, empathy, and the ability to express emotions in a non-abusive manner.
It's important to prioritize your own well-being and safety. If you feel that returning to the relationship would put you at risk or subject you to further abuse, it may be necessary to consider ending the relationship permanently. If you have concerns about your safety, reaching out to a professional counselor or helpline specializing in domestic abuse can provide you with the support and guidance you need.
As for common mental illnesses among narcissists and emotional abusers, it's important to note that not all individuals with these tendencies have a diagnosable mental illness. However, narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is often associated with narcissistic behavior. It's essential to consult with a mental health professional for an accurate diagnosis and guidance regarding specific cases.
"mproved communication: Healthy communication is essential in any relationship. Look for improved listening skills, empathy, and the ability to express emotions in a non-abusive manner."
Can u elaborate in the expressing emotion in a non abusive manner part? Any examples?
My husband is still speaking incoherently and like a robot. Liek saying the same things again how he's remorseful and going to therapy and taking medication. But he keeps saying the same words like a parrot and sometimes get angry when he fails to make me ready to come home.
Expressing emotions in a non-abusive manner means communicating one's feelings in a respectful, non-hurtful, and non-aggressive way. It involves expressing oneself honestly while still considering the other person's feelings and maintaining a safe and healthy environment for both individuals. Here are a few examples of expressing emotions in a non-abusive manner:
Using "I" statements: Instead of making accusatory or blaming statements, focus on expressing how you feel. For example, saying "I feel hurt when I hear the same words repeated without any visible change in behavior" rather than "You always say the same things, and it's frustrating."
Active listening and empathy: Show genuine interest and understanding when your partner shares their feelings. Validate their emotions and reflect back what you hear to ensure accurate understanding. For example, saying, "I understand that you're remorseful and are making efforts to seek therapy and take medication. However, it's important for me to see consistent changes in your actions too."
Managing anger and frustration: It's natural to feel angry or frustrated at times, but it's important to express these emotions in a constructive and non-abusive way. Avoid name-calling, personal attacks, or aggressive behavior. Instead, take a step back, take deep breaths, and communicate your feelings assertively without resorting to aggression.
Seeking clarification: If there are misunderstandings or unclear communication, ask for clarification rather than assuming negative intentions. For example, saying, "I noticed you seem angry when I don't immediately agree to come home. Can you help me understand what's going on?"