Would you continue in a relationship that was perfect in every way but poor in terms of sex life?

Question

lightbulb27 · Accepted Answer

An old wise man once quipped... "there's more th'n one way to skin a cat!".

I suspect he was talking about something else, but the point is valid... there are solutions to complex problems. relationships take give and take and work. This is really a question about managing incompatibility and stress.

Funny enough I talked to an 80yr old couple and I asked them similar question about relationships. They said "WHAT? We aren't in a relationship... we're MARRIED!!!" We got married, that's it... then you work things out". Our generation got that all screwed up...

People don't think like that now sadly. I mean, an easy solution is to bang the stuffing out of the woman, good grief, what's wrong with these guys. but maybe some are raised with more reservations. And who knows, the issues could be much deeper than that. If not married, I'd assess how critical sex is at that point in my life, and likely bail out. I don't buy "everything else is great"... baloney. Someone out here was in that sexually frustrated scenario in her 30's (peak time) and she was miserable as hell... pure suffering. Not supposed to be like that. It requires give and take and change and sometimes that's hard. It's one reason I think all that needs ironed out before marriage, but don't throw out marriage either.

So don't hurt any cats, they are cute and fun and should keep their fur. And love your partner and work to meet their needs as best ya can.

MementoMori777 · Accepted Answer

No I wouldn't but I can't say I wouldn't try fixing that sex life tho, that of course depends tho, if she was raped and such then I'd have to suck it up and hope someday she wants it but I talked to a girl once that was sexually assaulted and she did end up mentioning she wanted kids one day so I don't know maybe they do get the cravings at some point if they love someone, even if it's just to reproduce, the love will be there, I wouldn't give the perfect soulmate up just cause there's no sexual intercourse, even tho it would suck but nothing I can't get used too.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Hellll NOOO. If I get into a relationship it’s gonna be for the sex. DAILY SEX. I’m talking about every single day. I’m talking about NO DAYS OFF. I already deal with a God-Awful period pain level 8 on the monthly. Because I’m  not  about to take no braincontrol pill. And yes it’s a mindcontrol pill because your entire brain is on estrogen. It completely changes your perception on men, the quality of men you choose, and completely alters your mood.  You need to be on your natural cycle 🩸like a normal healthy person. And use condoms for birthcontrol.  If the quality of sex is low… or not to my expectations. If the D-K ain’t big enough or thick enough. If it doesn’t last more than 10 minutes.  IM OUT 👋 IM OUT 🖕IM OUT I couldn’t do it. If I don’t orgasm. If he’s isn’t clapping it.  And I don’t mean “clit-orgasm” like you see online. I’m talking about the “penetration-orgasm” that makes your brain explode. Loose all consciousness. Thee MAIN ORGASM. Not the orgasm that is male-like and makes you wet. I’m talking about the MAIN EVENT. I’m talking about the MAIN DISH, not the SIDE DISH. This is why I’d never jump into any relationship without knowing the size of my future MALE. 🍆. And without knowing how he will please me.  MARRIAGE B4 SEX IS TRAP‼️ AND A LIE

Rosexøxø · Accepted Answer

Ughhhh I’d have to discuss it with him before I made any decisions.

From what I know…

Sex life is always enjoyable, when both members love sex lol

So I’m sure this problem could be sorted. If it was an issue with function of one of them had trauma, then work around that.

Masturbation IS a thing lol

Can masturbate together or not?

There’s always a solution.

BCRanger10 · Answer

This is one reason among many why I strongly believe in and advocate for waiting until marriage to have sex.

People talk about how deep and intimate sex is supposed to be, but then, rather than a couple making it the fullest and most selfless expression of their deepest love for each other - which, for the record, results in children, since the natural objective end of sex is procreation - it becomes a litmus test. Rather than the summit of intimacy, it restricts and limits what the other person is willing to love. You're not loving a body, you're loving a person.

If we really want to restore sanity to our families, if we really want to feel loved and secure in our relationships, then we need to move on from this kind of thinking.

Stoner710 · Answer

It wouldn’t be perfect then. I understand waiting until marriage but guys need sex. If they’re no sex when married they’re no incentive to stay in a marriage. Sex isn’t everything in a marriage. But no sex leads guys to cheat. This is why so many guys who love the girl there with but no sex seek it else where and that may lead to complications, such as the other woman getting pregnant. His wife finding out he cheated divorce if he has kids with his wife that fucks up the kids. Porn is bad (yes I’m a guy I watch porn I can still say it’s bad I’m a hypocrite when it comes to this yes) the way women avoid cheating and porn use is to rock there man’s socks off so we don’t have to use a sock when we’re done.

if I was married I would say with the women because I don’t believe in divorce (and dam maybe I should join the Catholic Church instead of being agnostic) but I would stay with her and try to get more sex out of the relationship

RavVid · Answer

It a cross product of quality and frequency. Plentiful x not great = good. Scarce x fantastic when it does happen = bad. Or could do.

Frequency is the major problem. It is whenever you want it in the bonding period but then girls start throttling it down.

I had to lie to one girlfriend and tell her that NO turned me. So when she said Yes we had sex and when she said NO I asked her to say NO again. She was realistic enough to take responsibility for getting me excited. So when she said yes we had sex and when she said no we had sex.

You can work around these things.

smilelots · Answer

Personally No no no is part of who I am and its important to me if it was not then It would not matter as much like anything in life.. I was married once to a lady that had no interest in sex with me she never tried new things and I always had to beg made me feel like I was worthless to be honest.. since then most of the woman I have had the pleasure to date and do the nasty with, opened my eyes and to all the things and feeling I was missing.. never again do I want any part of that. its not the most important but it is important for sure..

DaddyDiablo · Answer

Honestly I've come to terms and this is like the 2nd relationship I've been in where I haven't had sex with my girlfriend and truthfully you shouldn't rush into it tbh like tbh you should just wait til whes ready and watch how much more that experience and basically feeling and so forth will feel for not only you but for your significant other. It's not always about sex tbh lol... gotta be and see if your not only compatible but like know one another and like several other things to really like be able to have a full connection to be able to have sex with your other Half or some shit like that man but just know that there's more to a relationship than just sex

xColinx · Answer

I would "continue" but the issue would need to be addressed. Like through intentional communication and being willing to be brutally honest with each other. And maybe having to consider some form of sexual/couples counseling as well.

A relationship without a normal/healthy sex life is not normal and likely destined to fail... or at least stagnate.

serious · Answer

I have always been single and wish to be single for life but just hypothetically and just to answer your question.

My answer would be yes, I wouldn't care at all. The reason is I am asexual and I find sex and sex related activities as outright disgusting, cheap and unclean. It is totally repelling to me and I never need it.

Hence if the relationship was perfect in every way then I would never bother about anything else.

EricSummer · Answer

I would not continue a sexless relationship.

However, if we have sex, but it is somehow not good, then I would remind myself that I'm also there all the time and participating in this poor sex. We should find a way to make it pleasurable for both.

19magic · Answer

If it was perfect in every way then communication is great and openess and vulnerability is there. That means the ability to have a conversation about what feels good/is not good is there.

If you can't communicate about sex then there is something wrong with the relationship. Now had you said attraction it's perfect but there's no attraction there anymore then the only thing to do is breakup then.

stepyo99 · Answer

If she really was perfect in every other way. A great mother and wife, communicator, supportive, loving, helpful, kind, etc. Then absolutely.

The sex life I would still try to work with her to find a way to spice things up between us, but sex is just one small part of a relationship and there are many things I want from a woman beyond just sex.

glennos89 · Answer

Depends on your own needs I would say. Do feel unhappy because there isn't enough sex or isn't that a big issue for you. Personally I would stick with it and maybe talk about the fact that the sex isn't often enough for you.

Just ask yourself this question...

Are you happy or are you unhappy?

AlexisDiani · Answer

It would depend on how long we had been in the relationship. I think if it’s just a new relationship then no but if the relationship is well established the I think I would try very hard to make it work.

gerald5466 · Answer

yes I think I would because im very happy with my girlfriend who is basically my wife and we haven't had sex yet we want to but we haven't really had the chance I want it to be special when it happens I don't just want to fuck her I want to make love to her it's different but if we never have sex think I would still be happy with her

shades777 · Answer

no, its not a healthy happy go lucky relationship if they're isn't any fucking going on. No sane man is going to be happy in a sexless relationship, he's going to have to cheat, get an escort, strip clubs, happy ending because little miss holyier than thou doesn't want to give up the goods

EmmaMary · Answer

Personally no I couldn't... The sheer essence of intimacy in sexual intercourse is extremely important to me... The ultimately frustration would therefore be too much to bare.

bedroomeyes · Answer

Sure, if he's open to learning my body the way I'm open to learning his. How will he get better if I don't talk to him? He might be going off what has "worked" for him with other women. I need him to learn what works for ME.

Lliam · Answer

I don't think so, no. I wouldn't want to be with someone for the rest of my life if I was sexually frustrated. I mean, sex isn't everything, but it is important.

Then again, it would depend on how "poor" it was.

nata590 · Answer

Yeah, I would. I feel like sex is cool yeah feels great but the other parts of the relationship are more important. You can find a guy to rail you and make you feel amazing, but it’s harder to find a guy who’s gonna be perfect and make you feel perfect everyday. I would give up sex forever for a guy who was caring and loving and didn’t just care about railing me.

Anarcamus · Answer

I think Sex is something that can honestly be fixed, the important part is to communicate openly about needs. Don't be subtle, speak and ask directly. Give ideas or suggestions.

Anonymous · Answer

No, I would not. The question is like asking if a plant can thrive if it has sunlight and water but no fertilizer. There is no such thing as a relationship that is perfect in every way but poor in terms of sex, because sex is critically important to an intimate connection and bonding. The non-sexual parts of a relationship will suffer without a good sex life.

Haha456 · Answer

you're never gonna end up with anyone unless you learn how to settle. There is no such thing as the perfect man. Most men are married or have bfs simply cuz they are good at settling

RangerBlue22 · Answer

There is complicated. Some people don’t communicate and give up quickly. Others stay miserable and ultimately make bad decisions (cheating, porn addiction).

AsaKyo · Answer

It's hard for me to really comment on something I have yet to experience, so I don't know, I guess I could, but maybe we could talk about what the problem is in the poor sex life aspect and try to fix it?

Anonymous · Answer

Yes I would because I didn't get into a relationship for the sex. It's one of the things you can do to show love and affection but there are other things you both can do to feel close. If she wants sex fine, if not I'll just masturbate. People have great sex and still break up.

If it was the other way around like good sex and nothing else was good I'll probably leave.

Lionman95 · Answer

Yes but to me sex isn´t that important to me if everything else works out well especially if there are other ways of intimacy.

Berethor · Answer

How much poor is the sex life with her? I can tolerate a "lie back and think of England."

OfMiceandMen · Answer

Yes, you can improve on your sex life, it just takes time to get to know what works best for your partner.

Juxtapose · Answer

I refuse to believe that a person of reasonable intelligence and emotional maturity cannot work with me to somehow have a fulfilling sex life. Even if they have some debilitating physical disability, something can be worked out.

CarefreeGirly · Answer

Sounds like a best friend situation, not a relationship.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

LOL. Man that would be very painful. The reality 90% of a good relationship is based on sex and if the sex is trash then it kinda makes it extremely difficult to be happy in that relationship.

If married I would stay though.

LovingJo · Answer

No... I'm going through it now and it's on the end of being over

Minahh · Answer

Depends what poor sex life means. To me if he's demanding sex and acting like a brat then we have a problem. If he's on the opposite side meaning doesn't want to have sex but he has to enjoy other stuff no problem with me.

Danny_dan92 · Answer

I’d just jack off. But let me find out she’s banging other guys while I’m fucking my hand and the relationship will end faster than lightning strikes.

RealMarek · Answer

If the relationship was perfect in every other way the sex would surely improve and become perfect too.

RobT312 · Answer

Unfortunately no. I’d try to get that issue improved, but if no success I’d have to move on

TacosRAwesome · Answer

Depends on the kind of poor sex life... Regular sex that's quite meh, we can try to sort out. No sex at all, I'm out.

HighValue · Answer

How is it poor? Does that mean not very often, or does it mean repetitive?

Ben487 · Answer

I would probably have to end things but that would be a rare situation, i mean how bad could they possibly be.

VikingWarLord · Answer

Hell nawww ! My sex drive is way too high. I'd at the very least tell her we were gonna start doing threesomes with other hot chics.

IHateBeingaMan · Answer

it would feel tempting because i don't want to have to go through the drama and burden of having to court women or having court a woman, approach a lots of women all over again

kakaling · Answer

Work it out, if you can work out everything perfect, sex should not be a problem to solve too. Unless one of you has some kind of long-term sickness.

Natiii2023 · Answer

You can always improve sex so yes I have to really love them tho. If they are more on the smaller size there are always ways to spice it up in the bedroom. Such as toys and etc. Anything can work if you want it to.

Dargil · Answer

If it were even adequate, which is what I have, yes.

Olderguy50 · Answer

Yes, I would.  As enjoyable as sex is, it's not the most important thing in a proper relationship. It's just a very enjoyable bonus.

art84 · Answer

Can't imagine a relationship that perfect without sex cause then neither person would be happy.

Anonymous · Answer

sex isn't everything and not sure why people think otherwise.

Anonymous · Answer

I'm asexual so it wouldn't bother me. I do like to make sure my husband has a good sex life.

Vegasrunner · Answer

I don't believe a relationship can be perfect in every w/o a strong sex life.

Christoff92 · Answer

Would be working on that day by day. Practice makes perfect 😊

Anonymous · Answer

You mean perfect in every OTHER way than sex, because if the sex was good, it would be perfect in EVERY way. Yes, I'd stay in it. There are ways to work around the poor sex life. *smile*

EaterPeter · Answer

I have continued opposite one where sex was great and everything else was shit. I would want more good stuff in relationship sex included.

Greenbins · Answer

Nope.. I'm out.. sex is part of a healthy relationship... if a person is not getting sex at home they WILL go elsewhere

Reorx · Answer

No, I'd be very surprised if I couldn't get her to respond to my touch.

msc545 · Answer

I would want to improve the sex and would make an effort to do that.

In_Trance · Answer

If the sex is bad, something else is bad. This question makes no sense

ItsZaman · Answer

I will continue for sure. as sex isn't everything in my life.

Anonymous · Answer

I live that relationship already I have been married to my wife for 10 months now and we have only had sex 4 times so I love this

Anonymous · Answer

Yeah, with practice, effort, and patience that can be improved. It's just about both wanting to and talking about it. The other stuff isn't so simple, or always possible.

Faith18letsgo · Answer

Absolutely, it’s not that important to me.

Nikki1989 · Answer

With my husband, I would.

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