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Whether you want to know or not is now irrelevant since she’s exposed the truth to you. Ultimately our answers shouldn’t dictate what you decide because it’s your life, your relationship, and only you who has to deal with whatever the outcome is. So make your decision based on what feels right.
However, but if our thoughts are simply to give you some additional perspective then I personally wouldn’t forgive. There would’ve been a much better chance in the beginning if she’d initially came clean. But now it’s like she acted selfishly by robbing you of the opportunity to decide if you wanted to work past her indiscretion, which isn’t right (or fair) in my eyes. I’m sure all these years hasn’t been 100% smooth sailing, that just isn’t realistic. So if she’s made any sort of accusations towards you in all this time, knowing in the back of her mind what she’s done then it’s like insult to injury. I just couldn’t reconcile past all this but ultimately it is your choice alone.
Telll your partner you cheated on them as well , when they say when? Say at The end of our relationship and walk away, never forgive someone for cheating on you , I don’t care if it’s in the beginning of a relationship etc, it still proves their true character on who they truly are as a person, and they more than likely will do it to you again , if you let it slide, they will feel like it’s ok for them to do it again or they are Going to feel like you are going to cheat on them since they leaked the truth To you and will feel like you are going to get revenge on them , so my advice is to beat them to it by kicking them to the curb where they belong. Life is too short to be with someone that clearly doesn’t value you , I don’t care if you were in a relationship 20 years and the truth finally comes out , that means they have lied to you for 20 years about truly loving you. Looking in your eyes and saying they loved you was all lies. You can try to sugarcoat it all you want but the truth is you have Sucker written on your head
Not sure how many people are that SERIOUS about each other after just a month. Forget about it. If it just happened then I would say tell her take a hike.
It really does not matter how long you have been dating or even if you are a married couple at the end of the day relationships are built and strive on trust, loyalty and communications if you do NOT have any of that than there really is no point in keeping a relationship going… if the roles were revered she wouldn’t be able to forgive you so the fact is you shouldn’t even be thinking to forgive her about it. I agree that people mess up we are humans we make mistakes but it’s best to always come out clean in the beginning plus cheating is not something to be taken as a small mistake
Opinion
10Opinion
By them not telling me right away they would have taken away my right to choose what I want to do next leave or stay and put my health at risk. It should be a criminal offence in my personal opinion.
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To tell me 4 years later would be a laugh in my face, I also feel a way to rid any guilt they feel that is hard for them to live with and in turn breaking me by now knowing what they did and how long they took to tell me.
It would be very hard to move past or be okay again for a long time personally.
No one is exempt from making mistakes but 2 times I feel is hard to be a mistake.
yes. severity kinda depends on what the commitment level was. some people, especially women that are not "secure" or loved, will jump around trying to find that which they need. in essence, they weren't in a relationship.
sorry to hear that... hope you work it out.
"the first month of our relationship"
Basic question: had you spoken about being exclusive at that point? I ask because I see people claim "cheat" early on when no one had discussed being exclusive.
I'd want to know immediately. The longer they wait, the worse it'll be for them
If the relationship is in a good and stable place and during those 4 years the person proved to be an awesome partner and both have a great relationship I wouldn't care honestly.
Not a big deal if you ask me. Be careful with how you deal with it though. If you're too forgiving, she might think it's ok to do it again
I mean... do you care? It's ultimately up to you, and the relationship back then was much different to how it is now. Maybe she feels so strongly about the relationship now that her guilt was too much and she felt she had to say something
yes so i could immediately end it now.
and yes you should care. because cheaters have issues and probably will cheat again.
I would break up.. because she only told you because she was found out.
What difference is that going to make? They cheated on you. Period. There's no if or when. They're shitty people.
Ofcourse you should care. If she did it in the beginning sooner or later she is going to do it again
How did you find out?
Is she trying to hurt you... Then you should care
If you found it by accident i wouldn't worry because people are not committed in first few weeks
You're committed now
That's the difference
Yes, if i ever found out that they cheated without my say so ill dump their ass in a ditch
Yes, it will give me ammo for the next fight and I’m guaranteed to win any fight with this information.
You should care about the fact that they did it many times and you didn't find out about it and... they are still doing it.
I would toss her to the curb like the trash she is. A cheater is the lowest level of human on the planet.
cheating once is enough to get the boot
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