Does it seem like open relationships just make more sense these days?

[Anonymous]

I honestly don't know if I'm just cynical or something, but it honest to god feels like expecting anybody to love you just because you're you is asking too much lately. Like at the risk of being crude expecting you to be the only person someone wants to bang 5, 10, 20 years down the line just seems unrealistic.

Seems like it would make more sense to have a few sexfriends and then establish a favorite among them if only because there isn't any sense of obligation. Then again i recently discovered I'm Aromantic, so romantic love just doesn't make sense to me.

[Finchie40]

Not at all , open relationships to me is not a real relationship period , it’s just a made up term that selfish people use to justify their selfish actions , If you truly loved and valued someone, you wouldn’t need to go screw someone else , if you need to go screw someone else, then you truly don’t love and value your partner , you just like the convenience of them, so it’s an excuse that people use to make themselves feel like they aren’t much of a piece of shit , to justify their selfish actions I had girls’ tell me they were in a open relationship , basically it was an invitation for me to spread her legs , without her sounding like she was a whore, but to me she was clearly a whore , it was her way of sugarcoating the fact that she is a whore. I am sorry , I am not going to be in a relationship with a girl that needs to go jump on other cocks and I wouldn’t want a girl being with me , if I am banging other girls’, If that was the case then I am single and can do what I want to do , and she is just my convenience cuz I truly don’t love her knowing I am going to go fuck other girls’ and I am not going to stick my dick in a girl that just got plowed by another guy , to me that is dirty and degrading and putting yourself at higher risks of catching STD’s , If a girl I was dating told me she wanted an Open Relationship , I would say have a blast because you are single cuz I want nothing to do with you , Thank you for a good time but not a long time

[Asker]

Honestly for all the grand standing it sounds like when you boil it down you just want your partner to be yours and "Pure" And look at it this way, would you rather she be open about the fact that she wants an open relationship, or pretend that she's what you want her to be and sleep around behind your back anyway? I mean if you just want a happy lie, more power to you.

[Finchie40]

Yes I want her to be honest with me the same way she wants me to be honest with her , If she was upfront to me that she likes to screw around that’s fine and dandy but I will not waste my time with her , I might fuck her , but I won’t commit to her , she can go do whatever she wants , I am just saying in general , I am not going to be in a committed relationship with a girl that can’t be loyal and faithful to me , the same way she wants me to be loyal and faithful to her , if she is lying to me and secretly cheating on me , that’s something she is going to suffer the consequences over if I Find out , it’s over , if she wants to lie to my face that she is loyal and faithful to me and that she loves me , and she wants to waste her time being with someone she is completely lying to , that’s her issues not mine , that’s her problem and something she has to live with, knowing she is a piece of shit , for being a liar land a cheater. We can’t force someone to love us, we can’t force someone to stay loyal to us , all we can do is treat someone the same way we want to be treated , if they choose to lie and cheat then they truly only care about themselves, they will never experience true love , they will only get what they choose to do for themselves, When it catches up to them , cuz it will and it always does , they will realize how much of a piece of shit they really are and realize that no one will want them anymore , cuz they have a reputation of being a lying cheating whore , so do you want to be in a relationship with a girl that can’t be faithful and loyal to you , Are you going to be happy knowing she is getting plowed by some other guy and then coming home to you kissing your mouth after she just swallowed his cum? Good luck with that shit man

[Asker]

I'm sorry to tell you, but I'm of the opinion that unless you can look at someone and say without any shred of doubt in your mind that you would take a bullet for them. You don't love them in the way you're saying, and honestly loving someone to that degree is terrifying, because it makes you very easy to control and manipulate.

[Finchie40]

Again I am not going to commit to anyone that isn’t going to commit to me period, when a girl tells me she doesn’t want me seeing anyone else then that goes for her as well , If I feel a girl is drifting or being distant from me , I will let her know that her choices are making me choose the other direction as well cuz I will be doing the same fucking thing she is doing to me , Love only grows when 2 people can remove selfishness for each other and make each other their top priority , understanding you can’t always get your way , understanding whatever she can do , I can do as well , so if she chooses to go screw another guy, I will not be waiting for her , she is best to just stay with that other guy cuz I am already moving in on the other girl that was standing there behind her , Relationships are all about give and take , if I feel like I am constantly giving without receiving I will make it clear to her that I won’t tolerate her behavior , if she wants to go be a whore go be a whore cuz I will not be a sitting duck waiting for her I will be fucking her friend that has made passes at me, if she wants me to be loyal she needs to be loyal as well , I will not stay in a relationship with a girl that needs other cocks inside her she is best to stay on the streets where she belongs

[OlderAndWiser]

Your view of relationships is true. . . but true only for you.

[Anonymous]

It makes sense for someone who can’t commit to one person. Dating is such a shit show these days, especially for those under like 35 who have never been married, no kids or anything like that. These people think the only way to have a “healthy”, successful relationship is by sharing their person and that just isn’t true. Majority of people suddenly entertaining polygamy have failed relationships, infidelity issues and determined to hang onto a person at any cost. Rarely is it ever both individuals in the relationship that genuinely wanting to expand their dynamic and welcome another party. It’s easier to justify it as well if you’ve never had a seriously healthy and happy relationship in adulthood.

[Asker]

The fact that a lot of people dont have a good example of what a healthy relationship looks like and it just doesn't seem worth the hassle anymore. Like you said dating is a fucking shit show, I've been trying my damndest to find out how to navigate this crap shoot and unfortunately i came to the conclusion that im probably better off being single making getting some hookups. Cause you can't trust people worth a fuck anymore.

[Opinion Owner]

I definitely understand your sentiments and you aren’t wrong for how you feel. I’d never knock someone for opting to do poly because to each their own, but in my opinion managing a relationship with several people and trying to give them all adequate attention, time, and love seems like much more of a hassle than just with one person. By definition poly is meant to promote openness, increased intimacy and sharing love between several people, but I don't know why this can’t all happen without a label on it. 9/10 the ringleader of the poly relationship is selfish anyway, wanting to basically have their cake and eat it too, yet if one of their wives/husbands wants to venture out and create ties with someone else it’s like cheating, which to me is selfish. It’s not fair to expect loyalty and commitment from a person yet the poly “king” or “queen” dates freely and introduces a new person to the dynamic every few months. Poly has veered far from what our generation grew to recognize it as, and turned into a big, selfish sex-grab.

[Asker]

Right which is why thinking about it, when it comes to a relationship like this you really have 2 choices. Be paranoid about whether someone will cheat on you, or accept that its probably gonna happen eventually and just enjoy the ride while it lastes.

[Opinion Owner]

Honestly I think that paranoia is more trauma-based and a result of never properly healing from past infidelity, mistreatment and/or repeated disappointments. I’m 31 and on year 2 of the most healthy, stable relationship I’ve ever been in. All through my 20s I experienced many failed situations and each aforementioned situation. But don’t allow those things to effect how I treat my current partner or make him pay for what other men did in the form of paranoia.

Of course there’s always the potential for being cheated on to happen, that’s why you do your best to pick a good person and just hope they don’t betray your trust, just as you wouldn’t betray theirs. Even that in itself speaks volumes, like if you know in your soul you aren’t the type of guy to treat, why wouldn’t there be others like you, you know? Or other women like myself who just want a good, faithful guy. We are all out there, just unfortunately muddled in with the riff-raff.

[Asker]

Yeah thats honestly my biggest fear, investing so much and opening my heart to someone... only to end up on the bad end of a trashy romance novel.

[Opinion Owner]

Trust me I hear you, before I got with my current partner I had not even dated a guy for almost 2 years. Unfortunately I think the dating market is so over-saturated with people who make you feel like it’s pointless and hopeless to even try..
Committing, investing, etc require a lot of trust, not only in the other person but in yourself to have made the right choice. You can only hope you were a good judge of character and your partner doesn’t betray you. It’s hard, man.
But anyway, if you or anyone else was to try poly, I’d say to do it based on if your personal beliefs make it a practical, realistic arrangement. Not because you’ve given up or want what you believe is the safest way to receive love and companionship. I think it just creates two, three or more opportunities to get screwed over.

[Asker]

I wouldn't call it poly, closer to ethical non-mog. But and i dont know how to explain it, it just... sounds right to me.

[Opinion Owner]

Is there commitment? Maybe you want an open relationship?

[Asker]

Truth be told, i want more honesty then commitment. I can't stop someone from doing something outside of my home, but as long as she does right by me, I'm her favorite and she doesn't have the audacity to judge if i did the same i think I'd be willing to overlook it. Hell my grandma flat out told me that the only reason she and my grandpa stayed together for 60 years is because she accepted that she had no control over him and didn't stress out as long as she did right by her and the kids.

[Opinion Owner]

My grandma was the same way lol and honestly a lot of women even today could be a happy homemaker so long as their husbands do their part. If that’s what works for you and others with that arrangement then more power to you for sure!

[KarinMcDonald]

Having a good sexual experience on the side has definitely worked out well for myself and my husband. It has strengthened our bond, and improved our communication with each other. It has also intensified the experience of oral sex for both of us.

[Avicenna]

What's the point of it? Relationship means exclusive, otherwise why pretend there is a relationship?

[Anemone978]

If you really love someone and the sex is good, relationship is good you will never want to venture out to other people because you truly love your partner. It only seems undo-able with someone you don't honestly love and could move on from. Trying to date right now is pretty ridiculous to be honest and is very hard to find a legit loyal partner..

[Nikki1989]

You can be open, but not too open. I have one other sexual partner, but all three of us are the very best of friends. That is the only way it can truly work.

[Asker]

I agree, Open relationship doesn't have to mean slutting around, it just means you have a bunch of friends that you happen to have sex with "Friend" is the key word

[KrakenAttackin]

Well, most women are willing to share an Alpha rather than lock down a simp/beta, until they hit the wall of course. Than the roles reverse and the woman gets with the simp/beta provider while getting her back blown out by an Alpha Chad. So relationships are not "open" by choice it's just the way women want it.

[WanderingLoveWizard]

I prefer one girl and one girl only. Women are WAAAY too much work to juggle more than one at the same time

[WanderingLoveWizard]

Even when it's purely sexual, there's always some level of bullshit that goes along with that too

[WanderingLoveWizard]

You can pretend that some women just want sex, but eventually you're get the, "It would be nice if we could just talk or hang out sometimes. I don't know what your girlfriend has that I don't"

[Manuel2]

As long as everyone agrees. But it does not really. Imagine a group of women on their period at same time and you want to have sex

[Anonymous]

A lot of Women choose this option because they are with Guys who are not Faithfull and are not Attracted to the Guys that are happy enough with one Woman.

[Anonymous]

Do what you want. I'm guessing what you want isn't to be saddled down for 10-20 years for no particular reason

[In_Trance]

For some, yes. For others, not so much

[CB-Raido-Time]

The proper word for it is whore-dum.

[BloodCursedDeviant]

I would never want to share my partner...

[Minahh]

I'm asexual, sex doesn't make sense to me

[Anonymous]

Open relationships mostly only benefit women.

[SandyKandy]

Why?

[TomCatJones]

Yes it does.