Is this a red flag?

[Anonymous]

I’ve had a pretty rocky relationship with my boyfriend of 8 years. Most recently things have gotten so much better, and I’m pregnant. However I’m worried it’s all an act, and the old him will come back. I’m 4 months pregnant with twins and he has broken up with me twice. Once the day before I found out I’m pregnant, and another time. He’s telling me he wants to marry me and make things right, but what concerns me is his actions. For example he gets mad at me because I have troubles breathing, and I cough at times or clear my throat and he gets mad at me for it, and today he was telling me his guess of the genders and I told him mine and he was mad and told me that’s why he doesn’t open up to me I need to just go along with everything he says no matter what, meaning not allowed to have an opinion. It’s little things like that, that’s red flags to me. And because he’s mad at me he won’t tell me he loves me or follow through on his promises. The other thing is that he’s cheated on me in the past, and I found out via instagram. So he blocked me on social media. His excuse is that he doesn’t like that I went threw his instagram. He’s moving in with me in two months. And I’m starting to worry. Like when he found out I was pregnant instead of celebratory sex, he wanted head. And like the other day I gave him head for like 20 minutes and I’m not lying he he was inside of me for 30 seconds and finished. He’s asking for all my passwords on things and I don’t have any of his passwords. The gender reveal is in a couple weeks. Should I be worried? Should these be red flags or is this normal?

[kylee2437]

So number one, if he has cheated on you and you decided to accept that idea, then you need to learn to get past the issue. If you can’t get past it, then the relationship is basically done for. Number 2, pregnancies are usually an experience for men as they are an experience for women. He doesn’t necessarily understand the changes you have going on and he has had to make changes to his life as well. Having kids is nerve wrecking and not only is he having one but he’s having two! Men are usually more scared of moments like this than women are by far even though we go through more. Now I’m not sticking up for his shitty behaviors at all, but what I am implying here is if his behaviors are too much for you to handle, it’s probably best you break up with him for the time being

[Asker]

So my question is should any of these things be considered a red flag? Or are you saying they aren’t? I also don’t think he’s scared he had been trying to get me pregnant for a long time, and I have moved on from the past and we have broken up before, I preferenced the past because it explains why I see it as a red flag. And technically he’s not having two kids, we are having two kids.

[kylee2437]

I’m not saying they are or aren’t red flags, I’m saying hey if it’s overwhelming to you, you probably shouldn’t accept things one day and then question them another day. And while yes you are both having kids, he still has his own emotions too.

[OldWomanBySoul]

This dude is a huge walking red flag and you're gonna only stress yourself out more if you stay with him. you deserve way better

[Asker]

Thank you 💕

[spartan55]

Seriously, where do you girls not only find these complete fuckheads, but get in relationships with them, AND let them impregnate them.
Every single thing you mention that he has said or done I couldn't ever imagine doing ever. ... oh my
.

[Asker]

I’m happy to be a mother soon, babies are a blessing.

[spartan55]

Good luck raising it on your own.

[Anonymous]

yeah those are red flags. You shouldn't have had his babies but you went ahead with it anyway now he's the best you will ever do. You are stuck with it so make the best of it.

[spartan55]

@asker
You really have to ask? The dude is an asshole.

[LazerBean]

That's very tragic for your kids, I'm sorry you would choose such a worthless father for them.

[Anonymous]

😆😆😆

[Asker]

Red flag or no red flag?