How do I stop being so co-dependant with my boyfriend?

[xolaurenxx]

Hi. I’m starting to really notice how co-dependent I am on my boyfriend. Whenever I’m not at work and he’s busy and not replying I start to stalk his social media and see possible people he’s speaking too. Or if he doesn’t call back most the day I’ll call him to see who he’s with and I’ve just got into a habit of it to the point where I can’t really rest Unless I do this.

I’m pregnant 5 months in with him so obviously being at home all the time drives me a bit insane and I don’t have as much things to do as I usually would. On top of that even before pregnancy I’ve always been like this so it’s kind of enhanced it in a way. How do I stop this I don’t know if it’s normal? I get so wrapped up in my mind about who he’s with, assume he’s with certain instagram follower girls and when I’m not with him I just go a bit crazy.

I think what makes it worse is I don’t actually tell him how I’m feeling and that I’m doing this as I know him, he would find it very weird and toxic which I agree it is, it would cause an argument. He would also say how he’s making money towards our life and the babies which I do know is true. I don’t know what it is because at the moment I don’t even look pregnant and I have no symptoms so I can’t even say it’s the pregnancy causing this, it’s just me as a person. For example today he’s busy at 2pm and he hasn’t called me back since it’s now 7 and I just freak out? He’s very non chalant I don’t even know if to explain how I feel since he would find it odd behaviour.

Updates

11 mo

I also understand my anxiety isn’t his problem it’s all me it’s just gotten worse since the pregnancy and sometimes I feel like he dosent give me enough attention. But I know him and In his eyes he’d find this immature and clingy

[coachTanthony]

Need to sit down with someone and talk about attachment styles. You have an anxious attachment. When partners realize this there are many things they can do to help ease that attachment and both you with a therapist can work toward a more secure attachment style. Takes both of you though.

[glennos89]

There is no reason not to talk about it if you are having troubles with it.
I do agree it isn't healthy so I suggest communicating about it with him and tell him then your sometimes feel that way, just don't tell him you do it already from day one.

But lets be honest... If you guys aren't able to express your emotions to eachother and talk about whats on your mind...
Then im not sure whether this realtionship will last because nursing a troubled mind is a recepy for disaster

[serious_miss419]

I’d join a low impact swimming exercise group, look into local baby groups with other pregnant folks. Go for a walk every day, it’ll be good for your labour.. pregnancy is about you.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Hey girl, I was copendendent too and it ended bed. If you don’t want it to end it, just be independent and have your own life outside of a relationship

[Blueeyes81]

I wouldn't call that being codependent, I'd call that jealousy and insecurity. As to how to fix it, therapy is the first thing that comes to mind. You need to get at the crux of what is causing it and find a healthy way to cope.

[xolaurenxx]

My ex when I was with him he used to disapear on me, turns out he was seeing about 10 other women so it’s just traumatised me a bit. I get he can be busy my boyfriend but whenever he goes a certain amount of hours without talking my immediate response is he’s with someone else because I don’t understand any other reason he’s not reply

[Adam1978]

Get a hobby. It will consume the tim you clearly don't know what to do with.

[Adam1978]

*time

[spartan55]

You really need to reel that shit in because you can't hide that behavior very long.

[AnusNdaPainus]

By making yourself useful to him

men are like cars take good care them and they’ll take good care of you for a long time

[Ben487]

that type of behavior is annoying. I hope you figure out how to chill out and give this guy space.

[shades777]

nothing wrong with a woman being dependent on a man unless you want to be within the massive sea of single mothes out here

[Sofie1999_]

With communication just to show each other that you’s still exist. And work on your hobbies your SO isn’t into when he’s not around.

[WhitneySnow]

You need something to distract you

[mommymommymommy]

Are you an only child?