What's worse, cheating or them blatantly telling you they will do?

What would be worse to you?

- Your spouse cheats and you had to find out elsewhere. You were lied for so long. You thought the relationship or marriage was alright, only to find out that.

- They blatantly (no sugarcoating at all) tell you in your face they fancy someone else and want to be with them. Or they say ''I would like to sleep around''.

Cheating, going behind my back
Being so bold and telling me in my face
Both are equally hurtful
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Updates
11 mo
The one being bold to your face hasn't cheated but is telling you what they want to do in advance.
What's worse, cheating or them blatantly telling you they will do?
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