What do you hate? What is your ick in a significant other?

[maskgirl]

what is your ick in a significant other mine is constantly lying to me

[devilish-cutie]

bad communication - silent treatement, unwillingness to discuss things and impossible to agree on something, fear of conflicts

selfishness - lack of general effort, lack of empathy

promiscuity - not loyal, vulgar, inappropriate, pushy, making me feel uncomfortable

being unrealiable, liar, making promises you cannot keep, not respecting my boundaries, disrespecting me, being pushy, shaming, blaming, being rude, being too stubborn, controlling, being boring-unwilling to do anything fun...

Obviously I've been tru a lot lol

[Anonymous]

My ex was the king of gaslighting. If I said we need to be ready by 5, five would roll around, he wouldn't be ready and then he would go on and on about how I never told him. I'd be like, here is the text I sent, do you remember when I called you this morning to remind you, and I also wrote it on the calendar a month ago, so how in the world are you now trying to convince me I never told you so now I'm at fault for us about to be late. It drove me insane how much he did this. He made it so I was never right or competent enough. Lessons learned for sure. It felt so good to go into the next relationship and feel like I could mention something or say something and I wasn't made to feel incompetent or crazy.

[Anonymous]

Lack of communication. I'm not a godd***ed mind reader. If you have something really bothering you you should have no problem communicating it. If you think I'm stupid for not seeing it. Explain it! I seldom make the same mistake twice. Odds are you won't have to do it again. But ANYTHING else comes off as you just want to be mad and stew. And no guy wants to deal with that s***.

[MementoMori777]

If that lying is constant you might have a manipulative liar on your hands but either ways mine would be if their form of solving a problem was the silent treatment

[Singing_Hollow]

I wouldn't say I hated this but it is a bit annoying. So Im the type of person where I am very open and I talk my problems, he is a bit more private and it takes him longer to talk about things that bugs him or that he is dealing with. I have to keep reminding myself that we are two different people and dont force things.

[Anonymous]

Poor body language, no boundaries and doesn’t communicate, makes excuses for their life, messy home, messy vehicle (inside and out), no job, can’t cook, doesn’t clean up afterwards, lives with roommates visa versa, flirtatious personality, the basics really not much to ask

[monorprise]

Many women complain about body language, boundaries, commutation, cooking, cleaning, and flirtatious personality as if they expect men to have the traditional priorities and skills of other women.

I can certantly understand no job and thus really nothing to provide stability for a family. This particular for a man in his 30's should be a deal killer as this is one thing a man should provide. But there are few men who can compete with women in the areas of commutation, cooking, and cleaning.

[devilish-cutie]

@monorprise point is men should up their game and learn to cook, clean and communicate better, basic life skills, but they dont wanna

[Juxtapose]

Expecting someone to live alone in this economy without roommates? Bold.

[devilish-cutie]

@Juxtapose you see, just excuses, every roomate can participate in those tasks

[Juxtapose]

@devilish-cutie I was referring to this woman saying she doesn't want men who have a roommate. That means she's a gold digger because she's looking for a man who's rich and has means far beyond the average man.

[Juxtapose]

It's not our fault, back in our grandparent's days we could work in a factory and provide for a whole damn family. Women acting like it's the fault of the average man today that they can't do that is preposterous.

[devilish-cutie]

I dont think not having a roomate means ypu are rich everywhere, it really depends where is she from

[Juxtapose]

@devilish-cutie unless she is from some kind of shit hole, I don't see how someone can rent a place all by themselves and not be rich.

[monorprise]

@devilish-cutie Expecting other people to do more than before simply because you want more out of them is not a reasonable expectation of anyone.

Men are still men with the same limits and nature as before,. They are not going to change simply because you think they should. In fact due to changes in education when they were boys men are in a far worse position than they ever been. As they have been driven away from a desire to learn by the new techniques designed to better appeal to what motivates girls.

[devilish-cutie]

@monorprise expecting man to have basic life skills like cooking and cleaning isn't demanding, everyone should know that, men refuse it cause they expect women to do it as before. but this are getting better with younger generations

[monorprise]

@devilish-cutie Thou historically young men had comparatively poor commutation and "life skills" compared to women, or even older men much less the scripted male models we are sold as normal in media.

Theses particular skills are actually historically known as women's skills because they are the areas women tend to be naturally most talented and interested in. Men by contrast tended to focus more on physical and technical skills.

A woman who expects a man to even come close to her in theses areas is expecting what simply isn't normal or natural for men, and as such is a bit delusional to set such a standard which will nessarly rule out most men.

[devilish-cutie]

@monorprise i would not agree those chores are natural for women and not for men, many women are bad at cooking and most famous chefs are actually men

[Juxtapose]

@monorprise everyone should know how to cook and clean, that shit is easy.

[monorprise]

@Juxtapose Perhaps you have overlooked the comparatively poor attribute of my claim of men's skills in theses areas compared to women in general. I am not claiming men do not know how to cook or clean but that their relativist skill in theses areas generally and historically does not match that of women.

The gap is generally even larger when it comes to communication skills. Put simply as I was trying to say men are not as practiced nor naturally adept at such "life skills" because their standards and level of concern are historically and on average lower.

When women like @devilish-cutie complain about theses lack of skills I seriously doubt she would go so far as to say a man can cook and clean nothing at all, nor communicate. As clearly such a man would not even meet her. But merely the quality of his work is inadequate to her own standards.

[devilish-cutie]

@monorprise no, im talking about flat out rejecting to do it cause you put all that on the woman, of course man can do it, they just won't

[monorprise]

@devilish-cutie Then the word you should use is 'won't' not 'can’t' as that is a very different problem of cultural expectations.

[Opinion Owner]

It’s not much to ask at all.

[Nikki1989]

Failure to communicate and insecurities.

[Confusedashell123]

Being jealous of me and what I have achieved when I worked so hard to get here

[es_annie]

My husband lacks in keeping a space organized

[Anonymous]

Being so hung up on the idea of "equality" that she's willing to destroy our relationship because of it.

[Anonymous]

Mine is total lack of self-control and rage issues.

[Juxtapose]

Lack of communication is a big one.

[itsalyssaagain]

Inconsistency.

[BarryLiverstone]

Flaking

[Blueeyes81]

Astrology