To make it clear, I don't take revenge, because I think it kinda lowers my spirit and will be bad for me emotionally, so I just try to recover fast and let it go. Seems like I can't completely let it go, because my husband has said to me things, that really hurt me and he said those things on purpose. I kinda forgave him. Now some time later he has been experiencing major difficulties in life, he has some serious problems and is feeling down. I am supporting him and doing everything I can and should. But I also remember times he let me down and feel satisfaction whenever I realize that now he might be feeling just as bad or even worse. Now that I've put all this out I think I sound really shitty, but anyway, I'm open to any opinion da any advise if you one.
No, you're not a shitty person and he deserves it
Yes, you're a shitty person anyway
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10 mo
*and any advice if you have one
Am I a bad person for feeling satisfaction when someone who hurt me gets hurt?
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
10 mo
Not bad, just vindictive. The level of vindictivness would determine whether you're bad or not. I get it because I was, possibly still am the same way
I at times I want to hurt people who have hurt me. So I have to remind myself an eye for an eye leaves everybody blind. And not everybody that hurts you does it with the intent of hurting you.
Life got much easier for me relationship wise when I learned and accepted to stop putting MY EXPECTATIONS on others. I treat people now as an entirety. You have to love the good with the bad. Not just the good. And if you can't do that you probably shouldn't love them at all. Because people you love WILL hurt you. That's just a fact! But you have to determine who is worth bleeding for.
If you really feel your husband DELIBERATELY hurt you. You need to find out why. Was it a defense mechanism? Maybe you hurt him and his defense was to hurt you. If it were me, when someone hurts me now I let them know they hurt me. And then I see thier reaction to that. You have to communicate. If someone repeatedly hurts me and we can't communicate I just eventually cut them out of my life. Because life is too short to for two people to JUST make eachother miserable.
Look when people get hurt you have to say okay I fucked up it's time to move on they will get theirs one day and you have to let it go I wish somebody bad it will happen to them they'll bring it on themselves they already did bring it on themselves so you know it's going to happen so let it happen and keep moving on if you feel bad about it then you're just as bad as that person for doing it Let It Go you're just living in that same world when that happens get out of that world if something happens to somebody and you find out oh well it happened to them I hope they're okay and keep moving on people screw up all the time sometimes it's their fault sometimes it's not their fault but to wish somebody bad is just as bad as them doing what they did to you so just let it go
Here's my opinion. Even if someone who has hurt you is suffering and you are having any feelings at all it really means you are still letting that person live rent-free in your head. That real estate between your ears is THE MOST valuable real estate in the world. Also in 10,000 years, nobody is going to give a shit anyway. Now, I know it is not easy to do. I have been harmed before. What I did was speak to a mental health professional who gave me sage advice on handling intrusive thoughts. These days I am in harmony with myself and my environment. Karma is a bitch I agree, but allowing that person to live in your head is much worse!
vengeful urges or impulses are natural i would say cause we have anger but its wrong to act on it because it leads to destruction and no real happiness, just a limited satisfaction that will eventually lead to self destruction
