For those whose long-term relationships or marriages ended, what surprised you the most about suddenly navigating life as a single person again?

[blunty]

[provokeesmokee]

It's always so refreshing to be able to do things without considering the other person.

Not because it's inconvenient to, it's just one less step when you're single.

My most distinct memory of this was the first weekend I spent at my own place after leaving then-bf of 6 years after I found out he cheated.

He had never been a morning person. I was, and though he had told me for years he admired my morning schedule and wanted to join my martial arts club, he never did. He never tried. He was too tired. He didn't want to.

I would wake up, watch the local market set up the street below us, go to class, come home to shower, go to the market (always too late for veggies I wanted bc I had to leave before the market opened), and return home for lunch and he would STILL be in bed playing mobile games.

I remember at my new place waking up early, doing my regular routine and deciding to go bike to the market, all before my ex would've been up.

It felt like spreading my wings. Now I know I only want to date people who really do want to share in my life. Not just hear about it from bed.

[DizzyDesii]

How quickly i bounced back. He was the longest I ever loved a guy. He was the longest I ever mourned an ex. But then i realized it wasn't about my love for him. Deep down I just didn't want to start over. He was this project I had put all my hard work into and then it got knocked over like a stack of legos. The thought of having to build something new frightened me and I didn't expect to move on so quickly. But then i saw all the hot dudes that i could freely flirt with and was like Ooo I missed this. Started building several pyramids

[shades777]

funny have things change

[DizzyDesii]

@shades777 i dont think i ever changed. I was just temporarily distracted

[shades777]

ah well that can happen, reviewing the memories, people move on in so many different ways

[clampfan101]

My childhood sweetheart and first girlfriend passed away. It’s been about 10 years and I’m still coping with it as I look for someone else. Most of our relationship was long distance with her mom not allowing her to contact me while living far apart, but simply knowing she was alive and waiting for me to return brought so much stability to my life. Realizing just how much knowing that helped after she passed away was what surprised me the most. (I try to find comfort in that she’s waiting for me one more time, even though she’s not waiting on Earth.)

[MrWolf]

I guess how much I've sacrificed in the name of our relationship. Couldn't believe how much I've given up for one person and how life was getting better.

So it was not only enlightenment but also an lesson to never again give up so much for a person that will be a stranger.

Yet I am not saying I would not do anything for the new person in my life but I won't go the same road again.

[Kris31]

I'm still in the phase of figuring out in all fairness.
It's a bit lonely but I strive to not sit on my couch and regret but rather go out do things.

Though it's still not easy but definitely will get later down the road. Or so I hope at least xD

[DermalPunch]

How many people stay in bad marriages and relationships.

How much prejudice there is towards divorced women with children.

(Men assume I must be desperate for any man because I don't have one so I have dealt with a lot of disrespect. Some women think I want their crusty old man and are bitches for no reason.)

How content I am alone!

[exitseven]

I was in a 4 year relationship with someone that lived 1500 miles away. I broke up with her over the phone. It was a hard decision that took me weeks to make.
The next day when I woke up I was amazed at how different the world seemed to me. It was suddenly a cold dark place.

[Anonymous]

I was married for 17 years, fell into a stupid rebound relationship with an ex, and then started dating for real. I was surprised at how easy it was to meet women and arrange first dates through online dating sites.

[BlackJeep]

Divorced after almost 30 years of marriage I was shocked how easily it was to date. I also worked in an office of 9 women in their 30s who were giving me advice. Best therapy ever

[slatyb]

That the women I dated wanted sex after three dates.

[Kerrytheman]

At first it felt wrong as if i was doing something that i wasn't supposed to. Had to do therapy for that!