Did your other parent leaving affect how you saw the opposite sex? It goes vice versa if your mom left?

[Anonymous]

I always have known who my dad and he's been in my life but my parents divorced when I was younger. I noticed that when I was younger, I had more friends that were girls because I trusted them more. I grew up with male cousins which I cared about when I was much younger but as I got into middle school, I didn't trust guys anymore. It seems I reflected them back to my dad and didn't want to spend my time on them. I did have some guy friends, but I was short with them and didn't try to cultivate a friendship with them. I did get close to guys when we were in relationships but only than I knew I didn't trust guys. I feel bad because now I see that it was my experience with my dad that made me put up a wall. Just wondering if your parent 's divorce affected how you saw the opposite sex. This goes for men too if you saw women differently if your mom left your family.

[ProbablyClueless]

I don't know that my mom stepping out on my dad ever changed the way I look at women. I wasn't even surprised when my dad brought us all in the living room together for her to tell us about her boyfriend. She had planned to leave the house that night to run off with him without telling anyone.

I think I always just kinda understood how and why it happened. Not that it ever justified my mom's behavior, but it didn't surprise me. You know... if you consistently disregard the wants and needs of everyone in your life, you can't be surprised when those people stop caring about your's. It's heartbreaking, but that's just how it is.

[Asker]

The same thing happened on our side, and I can see how you became indifferent to it. I eventually became that way when I got into my 20s and he would ask my mom why I didn't talk to him. I still can't believe how delusional some people are. I do love my dad but now I understand that's just who he is. I'm just glad I didn't continue not trusting men because they're just as important. Thanks for your response.

[jahaims]

It will cause a physiological bias whether or not it is conscious or unconscious

[Asker]

Exactly.

[Anonymous]

It did for a long time, but I think I'm better adjusted now.

[Asker]

I think it was wrong of me to think this way but now I understand why I would feel this way. It was a normal reaction to emotional trauma. I still treated the guy good and always tried to make sure everything was okay. My mom did instill in me to be kind to the guy I was with and treat people right.