I love my boyfriend but I don't feel an intimate connection with him when I meet him. why?

[Anonymous]

my boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years now and we love each other so much. we have been through many ups and downs together and have always supported each other. we met online during the covid period so we couldn't meet each other for at least 6 months. when we did, it felt as if i was meeting a stranger. i knew it was bound to happen
then he had to go out for his higher studies so we couldn't meet each other much and whenever we do, i don't feel an emotional and intimate connection with him even though i love him so much. i also feel a little uncomfortable while being intimate with him
can anyone please help and tell me what the problem is

[Finchie40]

There is too much space in between you both , you don’t really know what to feel since you are apart for long periods of time , Just because you communicate with someone over the phone or internet and see them from time to time it doesn’t mean they are really a part of your life , you might enjoy chatting with them and hearing from them but when you don’t see them as often as you like , you really don’t know what they are really up to , Actions usually speak louder than words in situations like this , Always remember this , When someone is truly into you , they will climb mountains to be with you, if someone doesn’t climb mountains to be with you the same way you climb mountains to be with them , they only like the convenience of you. Never settle for someone that only likes the convenience of you , you are wasting your time and blocking yourself from someone that actually would climb mountains to be with you. For any relationship to work and for love to grow both partners need to make each other their top priority , if you aren’t his top priority then you are just wasting your time. Long distance relationships are hard period , The only way they work is if both of you put in the same or equivalent effort to be by each others side , It has to go both ways or it will not work

[ProbablyClueless]

It sounds like you're looking for an extra spiciness to be there that isn't. It could be a lack of chemistry, but you want to be sure that it's not simply a lack of novelty.

I remember I talked with this girl for like 10 months straight before we met in person when I was in her city on business. We had an AMAZING first date. Best date I've ever had. We talked, laughed, joked the whole night away, and eventually the restaurant kicked us out. We got lunch a day or so later before I left.

The lunch we had together was fun. It was nice, friendly, quiet, intimate; I had a lovely time, but I wasn't excited by being with her. Even though our interactions were enjoyable, she didn't give me a giddy feeling. I felt like I was enjoying a nice plate of TexMex with someone I'd known for 30 years.

When I explained the situation to my father, his response was "good." Because butterflies come from uncertainty; you don't want uncertainty.

[Texasgal95]

You have to build those connections by talking with him about different things learning more about each other. I too met my boyfriend online during covid we did get to meet though not long after we started talking. FaceTime him when he's away. If you both want this relationship you will find ways to make it work communication is the key though

[madhatters4]

sounds like you have a platonic friend on your hand. sometimes even though we really like someone we just don't have that level of attraction that would take the relationship beyond platonic. that's ok. perhaps he's just not the guy to be with romantically but may make a great friend

[RyanK9b]

So u come together via online dating? And you lost interest after meeting him firsttime?

Weird

But normally its like this for girl.
If she looses attraction something messed the guy up. He could be

• To soft
• Lost his game
• Lost status
• Lost ambitions

Thats where typical the girl looses attraction

[Asker]

i didn't lose interest after meeting him, i love him more than i did before but i just don't 'feel it' when we meet

[RyanK9b]

Thats some weird emotional roller-coaster. I guess your mind sees him different than if you're with him in person

[LiamJHayden]

My neighbors are all elderly people who've been married for decades. From them I learned a simple yet profound truth: Shared commitment is a more stable basis for a long term relationship than emotionalism. Emotions rise and fall. An honest commitment endures.

[DextroShade]

The honeymoon phase is over and now you are seeing how your relationship truly is; this would inevitably happen regardless of who he was. It is important for you to know that if you leave him to chase that feeling with new guys you will likely end up ran-through and alone, so I wouldn't advise leaving him unless there's actually a reason to.

[teamvic]

Sounds like you love the person but not as a partner.

So that relationship is doomed bro

[Manuel2]

You feel he has secrets and not sure he is put to use you. If he finding excuses for triviial problems. As him why he is not telling you the whole truth

[EaterPeter]

Honem9on phase is long gone keep spark alive do somethings intentionally purposefully as listen observe

[kakaling]

You chat too much online, or messaging, try to chat only when meeting up. Meet up more.

[Celticwolf78]

Meeting online is one of the hardest things because you cannot build a good connection

[Wise4myage]

Have you fallen out of love with your boyfriend?

[NajemEddineBR]

what the hell is intimate connection anyway

[Abdulwahh]

You mean no sexuak tension?