He won't be in a relationship with me because I have a child, should I take it personally?

[Needinganswers94]

He spends time with my child ( he's 4 years old) he does not see himself having children and wants to get a vasectomy.

He really likes my son and will buy him chocolates and treats, also plays with him, cuddles him and every thing else, and we said we like eachother... I said you don't even like me like that.. an he said with the most respect, its just the fact I have a child... but he said we can still cuddle and sleep over and whatever, and has even invited my son to stay...

Do we just carry on being friends or is there more to it? And he's just unsure?

Updates

9 mo

Also... he spends time with my child when I AM with him.
Never alone. 👍🏻

[caring__1]

People can enjoy being with kids, while having no interest in taking on the responsibility of kids. We all have preferences. Do you want to be with someone who, at best, tolerates being with you? Do you want a partner who has to fantasize about other women in order to be intimate with you? I'm sure you've passed on many opportunities with other guys, because they didn't measure up to your expectations. Should they take it personally because you want more height or more money or more humor? They are who they are, and you are who you are. Don't waste your time attempting to change others. Accept people as they are or keep looking elsewhere. He was very clear. Let's say this guy is into amputees... are you going to cut your legs off for him?

[Needinganswers94]

I'm never going to change for him and he understands that... thats why he asks me to sleep over when my son is staying out at relatives houses.. I would never expect him to change either, I wouldn't want anyone to change for me unless they wanted to but I certainly wouldn't force it.

[caring__1]

Then accept the fact he will never commit to you. Feel free to enjoy what he is willing to offer, but understand that staying with him is reducing your likelihood of meeting the guy who truly does check all your boxes.

[DannyUk2017]

Sounds like he wants to be a "fictious" father figure so you'r son doesn't feel the missing of its father, but also sounds like its cautious about not being "caught up" in becoming a father for your child, so i think he takes baby steps, just go with the flow and see if he wants something more serious or not. Time will tell.

[Needinganswers94]

Thank god for that, someone from the UK who I can actually relate to, who seems to understand the question and actually take time to think of the answer... I appreciate this, thankyou.. this is also what I think

[DannyUk2017]

Very welcome Hun, well yes, if i would be in his shoes, i would have done the same, i would have taken baby steps to see where them things are heading, and if after about 1,2years all good, then why not? Could have become a Father and a Hubby to you. And we could also all be a one family, boy has no fault in to what happened between parents, so he doesn't need to feel the "missing link", contrary he should feel "bombarded" with love and affection from all sides, today's world is way Dangerous and Crazy for him to feel it, but you need to feel loved and appreciated also, innit? I'm sure you're not the only one in this situation. Glad i could answer your thread love xoxo

[Needinganswers94]

He kind of blows hot and cold... and some people on here are awful, so im actually really glad you came across my post and helped me, very much appreciated honey xoxoxo

[DannyUk2017]

Welcome hun xoxox enjoy the rest of ur stay... as i said... baby steps, baby steps... 😉

[Screenwriter]

He's been very clear that he enjoys your son more than you. IT seems he's in a kind of relationship with you BECAUSE you have this child, but he's not interested in an intimate relationship with YOU!

It's very easy to relate to a young, innocent child. It is complex and difficult to deal with another grownup.

This has nothing to do with YOU. This is where he's at. Childlike. Wants to cuddle with you during mommy, kiddy sleepovers.

If you want a grown man to relate to, this is not him.

[Luckycharms12]

Ya I understand fully why he wouldn't it's your Child man will fall in love with you and child then if it ends be twice as hurt. Not worth the risk

[LazerBean]

That is really freaking weird, and sounds like an easy pass to helping your son become a child molestation victim.

[Needinganswers94]

Wow, well aren't you abit of a cunt. 🙃

[Needinganswers94]

Oh you're 23, and American... thats explains a lot.
Seeing as that thought even entered your mind; maybe you shouldn't be around any children.🫡
Thankyou 🙂

[LazerBean]

Stay mad, hoe

[Needinganswers94]

I wonder which category you fall under?
Troll or a Karen? 😒 because seeing your other answers to question, it seems like you literally just come to make people feel like shit so as you feel superior🙂

[LazerBean]

"Mothers" like you are precisely why children from broken families are over twice as likely to be sexually abused and generally maltreated. The facts make you feel like shit because you are shit.

[Needinganswers94]

Haaaa... look at you getting all personal... I don't feel shit thankyou. 🙂 and unless you've come from a broken home, you can't say shit... sorry, or you're just a very uneducated bitch who doesn't even understand child molestation...

[barn_stormer]

most men wouldn't date a woman with a child