Two days ago, I had a discussion with my girlfriend (initiated by me) about our plans and having kids. I was reconfirming to make sure we're on the same page and she's 100% sure about it. She reconfirmed she's ready. So now I know her answer will be a yes. That's all I needed to know.
My past rejection:
After 5 years of being together with my then first girlfriend (now ex girlfriend), she declined me. I was 22 at the time when I asked her the question and the answer was a no. I felt the same exact way women feel when their guy won't commit. I felt the exact pain those women feel. This might sound silly but after I got home, I cried for a bit in privacy. It was really hurtful.
The reason for the question on my post if because recently someone else on a site said that only women would have that reaction of crying and being sad over it, that if we get sad about that, we're acting like a girl and that she was right to decline his proposal. I felt the same hurt. But we can get hurt equally if it's the woman that won't process in the relationship, that declines a proposal right?
What Girls & Guys Said
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yeah man, you were all-in. You love hard and that's an admirable quality. You emotionally connect and any woman with experience greatly appreciates that way about you. I am glad it is working out for you now.
I'm just glad my current girlfriend is on the same page on wanting to form a family soon. I know what I gotta do next. I was thinking of proposing on Christmas, within 11 days from now.
Yeah that declined proposal from my first girlfriend at the time hurt badly for a long time. I still remembered the day I proposed to her; the day I had prepared my speech, the ring and the setting. It was a sunny, summer day on Saturday June 25, 2016. I'm usually not into specific detailed unless it's a specific memory and one burned in my mind.
All coming together now !!! Merry Christmas for someone.
yeah I think that's the best day I can finally put bad memory to rest
Yep !!
You have a right to have emotions and 5 years is a long time to invest into someone that doesn’t want a future with you. Never second guess yours feelings , because feelings are a human trait. Don’t listen to trolls on the internet
yeah a declined marriage proposal after 5 years was a devastating blow to me and it lead to a break-up afterwards. Then she wanted to keep me as a friend; that was insulting to me. It took me a long while to recover.
Now I know my current girlfriend is on the same page and all I have to do is ask. Finally I can put that bad scene of getting reject to rest and feel confident once again.
@asker you have a right to feel hurt by it. I think it came down to the fact that you two were young and she didn’t want to settle down just yet. I’ve been there. I think it’s difficult to settle down at the age of 22 because there’s sooooo much to get done at that age. You definitely have a right to feel hurt, and props to you for still trying at love even though you have been hurt.
If she would've accepted it but said to postpone the wedding or no kids yet then it would be different and I would've waited for her. Being engaged doesn't mean you'll get married the next day. I wouldn't have minded an extended engagement but she said no to marriage as a whole. She wasn't even sure if she wanted to even marry me. It was more than just age. It was her not wanting a future with me.
Oh well, moving on. I was thinking of proposing to my current girlfriend for Christmas, within 11 days from now.
@asker I totally understand where you are coming from but she definitely did have a lot to do with it. I was dating someone when I was 21 and he was pushing for long term milestones such as moving in and getting married and I was just in a point in my life where I didn’t see that happening at that moment. I know no one should wait around for that if they don’t want to but if he had waited I would’ve considered.
But age**
Yeah I assume you had to hit on her