Well I made a move on this guy that I like on campus like over 3 months ago. I went up to him as he was headed down the stairs. I tapped him on the shoulder, excused myself and gave him my name, in which he gave me his 😊 I told him that I've seen him around and I had to tell him that I found him attractive. Sure put a smile on his face. We conversated for a couple more minutes before departing.
The next week, I approached him in the computer lab, pulled out the chair, said hi and sat down. Asked him how he was and then asked what he was drinking. He replied by saying chemistry, then corrected himself by saying coffee, which he drinks it Black ☕ He seemed a bit awkward, for whatever reason. After conversating for a minute more, I told him that I was interested in him and wanted to get to know him and suggested meeting up the next week. He agreed. The next week, nada happened. I approached him the next week and told him how I felt about being stood up, in a respectful way, also in a hurt way. I also told him how I felt about him, about how I attractive I found him to be and for what reason I don't know why; what I thought about him and how I didn't want to force anything. He understood and told me that between his personal life and his studies... I agreed and told him I understood. I can't remember if he said he would like to or not, but I could tell that he had a lot on his shoulders. So I backed off.
This past Monday, I approached him while he was in a study room, opened the door and just started talking. A couple minutes later, I asked him if he'd like to go for coffee with me, at Starbucks, next Thursday. He said sure and suggested the one 10 minutes away from campus. I suggested the one on campus and said that we could walk and talk. He said that sounded good. I asked when was a good time, he suggested around the 4 and asked me when was a good time. I tried not to sound clingy, but I said that 4 was good. I also asked if he would feel comfortable if it was just the two of us or if he would feel comfortable if I brought a friend or two. He didn't care and I said ok, I'll see him next week. Now I'm giving him some space until that very day. Hopefully he doesn't stand me up! Don't really know if he likes me or not, but I'll find out soon enough. But that's my story ☺
Thank God I don't have to really think of this question anymore as it is irrelevant once you are married.
But I think it is ok for the woman to kind of make a move once she knows he is interested, single and seems like a nice guy that she wants to date.
My husband and I messaged each other for a bit and I found out he was single and he was sorry he didn't "sweep me off my feet", that phrase sounds gay right now, so I asked if he wanted to meet up.
We are married for 12 years now.
Absolutely.
We have become a society where it is extremely hard for men to date, and women have plenty of options.
Men have to "play the game" where it manipulates people's emotions & thoughts through wordplay & deception... it's honestly super toxic & dishonest and only works for those who are good at it. The other issues are the thoughts that many think are mandatory about dating.. here's the thing... nothing is mandatory about dating other than being honest with eachother. If the romantic gestures are thought to be mandatory, then those gestures become no longer romantic.
Another thing i have noticed is in current dating society, people walk away from every little awkwardness & inconvenience. people are weird & awkward with a little baggage, if you look past it you find there's more to a person than what is surface level. Another thing about dating society is everyone is focused on sex, instead of getting to know eachother, which can lead to super toxic relationships focused on sex with no emotion or compatibility as people.
Healthy relationships are supposed to be like "best friends with romantic benefits" not "great sex and lots of drama".
Speaking of which... from my experience, many women find that a relationship that has little to no drama & arguments is a boring relationship. That's honestly really toxic mindset to have and i get it's because that's what they are used to in their past relationships with insecure guys with anger issues and whatnot, but it shouldn't have to be a relationship of anger & frustration, but a possible one of happiness & intimacy, sure arguments happen, but that's why you talk them out.
Do you know something? I have asked and been asked for numbers. There is either a chemistry there or there isn't.. If there is, then asking for a number just seems the most natural thing in the world to do.
I don't really care who asks as I'm not shy in asking. If it is someone I like that asks me, then I have no trouble remembering my number.
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It definitely takes the guesswork out of things which is nice. This needs to happen more often because the feminist movement has done so much to screwed things up for well meaning guys. The thoughtful guys are sometimes gun shy about approaching out of fear of looking “harassing”. So I am glad some women are taking initiative.
However most guys aren’t used to this so sometimes we get caught off guard. Also we can be leery of the girl’s true motives. I have had attractive women approach just to make the guy they really liked jealous in the past. Very heinous bs.
Also some women can react very bad to rejection. They aren’t as used to it. I had a very scary incident with this 2 years ago. Girl threatened to “do something to my place” because she was upset I turned her down.
Anyway with all that said again most men LIKE it when women approach. But we just aren’t as used to it (nor used to rejecting if we are not interested). But this all need to change for true gender equality.
A girl who makes the first move like that is very appealing. As long as she isn't too clingy or stalkerish upfront, I'm not too concerned.
Though, if she drops her pants and undies the minute I arrive, and invites me to take her shirt and bra off and asks me if I like what I see, and I still haven't even kissed her or taken her anywhere or had a decent conversation with her first? Then I'd be highly suspicious of her motives. Anyone THAT forward is either mentally ill, or just wants a one night stand. Or even a one-HOUR stand!
But as long as she isn't a mental case, a woman who initiates on occasion will make me more willing to reciprocate.
I see this question all the time... and it always makes me think what the heck women really think about guys.
The simple fact is that most men love confident women that display a serious interest in them. When a women does this it elevates the potential for a man to see her as serious relationship material and potential committed partner.
Any man that sees a women making first move as degrading, does not truly value women in the way the modern society dictates. Any women in the age of Feminism and the "Me To" movement that feels guys are obligated or expected to make the first move is living in begone era.
If you have a serious interest in a man then I greatly encourage any women to make their interest known to the man.
I have asked guys out in the past, I'm not scared to tell someone that I like them but out of my own experience that shit never works out in the long run.
Like yeah every guy said yes at first and all but most of them didn't really mean it, like it was nice for them and all but that never had a future, they would just see how far this would go and if they could fuck me maybe but yeah. They weren't really interested.
Nothing serious.
That's why I don't do that anymore, if a man is truly interested in you, he will go after you. The egg does not swim to the sperm lol
And I'm talking about real men, in the real world and not the majority of "nice guys" that are on here who would jump on anything as long as it's a female.
i have found most the men i like, are too slow in asking me out or dont get the signals at all.
so if i like a guy, i make the first move to go out.. and i am usually the one to make the First Move on the date too..
arghhhh.. growing up a tomboy did stuff to me.
Yes! Most of us do. Even if we weren't attracted to the woman, we'd still find it flattering and brave of her to do so. Not enough women want to take the risk we as men all do, however. I don't have a preference of who asks who first, as long as she's just as interested in me as I am in her. But usually women aren't into me, so I'd say for this question, she should definitely make the first move.
Eh, I just can't imagine a scenario in which a woman would succeed making the first move on me.
If I like her, I would have asked her out already.
I would ask out even the women who are already taken, so I dunno.
I would have to be comatose or something.
I like women who are forward and flirty but still give me the chance to take over the lead on a date. "Let me give you my number" still fits that category. She's still passing the ball to my side of the court. "Let me take you out to dinner" is a bit different and makes me feel like the rug was swept under my feet since I'm not used to following the woman's lead on a date.
The first time it happened it completely surprised me. Of course I said yes. Actually it's surprised me a little bit each time. We hadn't talked all that much and I was trying to figure out if she was comfortable talking to me when she made the move. It's happened to me several times and each time it caught me off guard.
Yes, it's nice to she likes me enough to ask first.
Yes. Absolutely.
People who tell you guys don't like it are probably either projecting on guy into all of us, or are trying to defend the position of doing nothing and getting to expect love to fall in your lap.
Honestly, I can't respect a woman who would expect a man to make a move but be unwilling to do the same herself. It's a red flag double standard right off the bat.
It's unnecessary to me.. because if I'm interested I'll make the first move. It's enough if she gave some hints of interest because I can read those pretty easily. BUT if I'm not interested in here I'll just ignore those signals. If you as a woman make the first move you're taking a risk that the guy will go along with it simply because it's easy. Not because he actually has a high opinion of choosing you. Then later on he will dump you the second another random woman approaches him. When a guy makes the 1st move it doesn't work that way -- I mean, assuming he's looking for more than casual.
Guys who love women to jump on them like zombies usually get angry when I say this tho.
There's nothing wrong with that. Better yet, it's actually a good thing. Some women who actually have jobs that require them to be on edge or had events that required them be bold are actually more daring than most women. She has a much better chance than the women who just drop hints and all that stupid crap.
Any guy who says he doesn't like that is basically lying
I feel like most of them doesn’t like it because there was a guy i made the first step after his million signs and boom he ghosted me. He thinks that im a basic cheapy girl!
It would be a different world if girls took the initiative. I believe there is some correspondence with girls who take the initiative and cheating however. These girls know what they want, and are attracted to these men, and can easily lose attraction and find someone else more attractive. A guy who puts a lot of effort into winning a girls heart with romance and courtship builds a stronger foundation for a relationship. That isn’t the case so much for a woman winning a guy over, which is pretty easy to do.
Lets be real here. An attractive, feminine, desirable woman will rarely, if ever, need to make the first move. It's much more natural for a man to do the approaching and leading, while the woman receives and follows. A woman approaching will exhibit masculine energy. But the only reason why so many guys will say they prefer to be approached when you ask here is because few of them have the confidence to do it themselves.
Having said that, I no longer approach women because after hookup culture, friends with benefits and all of the other forms of promiscuity, they are no longer worth the time.
You should. If you know a nice guy, handsome and well educated, you must make the first move (if you like him). There's nothing wrong for you to make the first move. Instead if you don't, he may end up with someone else and you might lose him. Imagine losing someone because of a silly rule "boy must make the first move".
I think it's Grand when the girl was interested and shows her interest in you.
Now there's no doubt.
Now you're in a worse position because if you don't like her you have to get out of it without break hurting her feelings. And if you are going to hurt her feelings why did you ask her out to start with
I wouldn't mind either way happening.
I would also like it if she said, "All you have to do is ask me out on a date, and I'd say yes."
I actually like the girl to take initiative from time to time. U know it feels like it’s one sided if it’s always the guy who initiates
This question highlights the discussion between men and women. All the men claim they want a women to approach them and all the women say it never works. Yet guys never understand why women can't go and approach men.
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