Guys, how do you feel about women making the first move to get with you? Is that a turn off/on?

Question

Ladies, would you make the first move if your eye candy is either too shy/clueless that you want him bad? What would you to let him know you want him? Or wait for him instead? Or just move on?

TheSpaceGnome · Accepted Answer

1. It's very helpful, as it saves time and headaches since many women are offended by men doing it (to the point of acting like a "victim" just because the guy thought she was pretty and wanted to know if she was interested).

2. It's very attractive, but only if we are attracted to you, and ultimately I won't be attracted unless I already know her well enough to know she is mentally compatible, so it's more like it's a good starting point, it's something a woman can do to get her foot in the door long enough to see if they are a match (which to even get that far requires looking like what he likes physically).

So it depends, but either way, it's not a risk to do it.

Unlike a lot of women, a guy is not likely to call security and claim harrasment just because you started verbally flirting with him, speaking in a lewd manner, or showing off your looks, instead those things are part of the "getting your foot in the door" process. Just don't touch without us giving the ok, and you'll be fine.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Accepted Answer

Not a fan of it. I would prefer she just gives me the signs she's interested and I make the move towards her first.

Ms_Facesitter · Accepted Answer

I've made the first move before. It's so much faster than waiting. Sounds obvious, but it is, I don't understand why so many just wait for him to come to us.

What if he likes you but thinks you're intimidating (I saw a question on that today) so he doesn't come to you
What if he's shy and you're with your group of friends? He'll have to face me AND my friends.
What if he never saw you romantically, but never gave signals that he couldn't?
What if you have competition and someone else likes him? Will you wait and run the risk of her running off with your potential guy? I sure won't.
What if he likes you, he obviously does. He's given you all the signs. What are you waiting for?

There are just too many reasons for me. Not making the first move when you like someone never made sense to me.

limsasi · Accepted Answer

I asked the guy out first on an official first date, it went well we had a blast. No one should ever be scare to initiate.

Bambalicious · Answer

I seduced my husband 😂. We worked at the same place and were best friends (for 5 months) but not romantically involved. There was a blizzard and he cleaned my car off for me. I had no heater (no money to fix) so he was worried about me. He insisted on following me home so he knew I made it okay. He lived across from work (with roommates) and I lived 30 minutes away. I had been wanting a romantic relationship with him and with his offer I thought of the perfect game plan. After we arrived at my home i invited him inside (he was going to take off). I told him he must be hungry and I offered to make him dinner. He said, “yeah, I am hungry”. I cooked a meal that took a little extra time. Once we were done I told him it was really late so he should just stay here for the night. I then told him that his car was better in the snow and he could drive me to work. I told him that he could sleep in my bed and watch Robot Chicken. We spent the night hanging out and watching tv. We started dating and he basically moved right in with me because we always wanted to be together. We got married a month into the relationship. Been over 12 years now. He still thinks it’s funny what I did and he had never had a girl flip the situation on him before. He loved it.

glennos89 · Answer

Definitely a big fat turn ON for me!!!

Because then I know that's she is really liking me and not just selecting me out of her god knows how many men's applications.

Ofcourse this doesn't mean automatically that the feelings will be mutual from my side but I would definitely make sure she doesn't feel scared to do it again when she's meeting someone else because I feel that it's difficult to tell from a guys perspective if a girl is really into you when you approach her, or that she is just selecting you from her multiple choices being the best out of the worst.

I want a girl who is really attracted to me as a person instead of being 1 of her X-amount of choices selected from her inventory of messages

Hopefully it makes sense what I'm trying to explain. I'm not really finding the correct words in English to explain my feelings because English isn't my native language 🙈

AMS700CX4u2 · Answer

Once again times have changed. When I met my wife of 50 years this month, girls with traditional values would not initiate contact with a phone call. My mother, being less traditional, told me the copper ran both ways.(copper wires ). So are you sticking to the more traditional practices of courtship or not. Some do, some don't. I think the vague way of the traditional practices are based on the attitudes of sex. That obsurd practice of attaching shame to one of the most exciting and necessary occurances in a humans life.

Finchie40 · Answer

It’s a turn on , considering most people are shy and we don’t know what someone else is thinking , so it’s better to take the chance instead of never knowing , Some body languages and eye contacts can break the ice as well , so it just depends , It’s funny because most men can’t really pick up if a girl is really interested in him or not just like most girl’s can’t pick up if a man is interested in her or not , why it’s best to tag along with an apposite sex friend when going out because they can usually tell you if someone is interested in you or not lol

Wsx2wsx2ws · Answer

No I would not mind. I have tried to get close to a few women but perhaps they are so shy they flutter away. I can't tell what the deal is. It would be refreshing for someone to just say, I would like to spend time with you and learn who you really are.

I had some one say they like me best at a certain place I go. SO I asked would they like to do things together, I was thinking of visiting this area and wouldn't mind company. I got a swift no. I don't really know the deal with this woman so I am walled back up and my gates are barred again.
Be nice all that confusion be gone.

RavVid · Answer

I have to laugh at this because I have seen polls where girls say they initiated first.
And I have to say girls have this nice way of making it positively ungentlemanly for you not to invite them out and imply 'if you ask me I'll say yes'. It goes something like this...

GIRL: "Oh I really want to see < latest block buster boy movie> but none of my girlfriends do". So she's told you she doesn't have a boyfriend but needs a man to see boy movies with and doesn't want to go alone and it is all to you if her hearts desire is to be fulfilled.
Guy: "Would you like to see it with me"

Of course before then it would have been...
Guy: she's hot. I like her tits
Girl: He's ok and he's staring at my breasts. I've got something to work with here

Only a few girls have ever asked me out. To be honest my reaction was does this mean I have been put in the friend zone. Can I/Should I be romantic. I'm confused.

Bricealan · Answer

I like it. When I moved to CA. I worked at McGaw Laboratories in Irvine, CA. One night after work, in my apt. the girls in my office called and asked me to meet them at Lakeside Restaurant in Irvine. I went, and we stayed late, and out in the parking lot, one of the girls put her hand in my pants very boldly. I was embarrassed under the circumstances with the other girls there, but it WAS very exciting to have her do that.

dustybiker · Answer

I always approached. Never saw the point of waiting around or playing games.

ChooChooHaha · Answer

If I know something'd happen, of course. If he intimidates me, I'd sidle up to him. If I'm feeling brave enough at one point or the other, I'll be more obvious. Sidling= crack a few jokes, be around him but not too available. Brave enough time = suggestive jokes, touching him more, letting him do more flirtatious things.

NathanDavis · Answer

well... given than 80% of the time, it has been girls who approach me first and it was been really great afterwards, I do feel positive about women making the first move when they really are interested or intrigued, lol

besides that, I have never seen anything wrong at all about it... if you're intrigued or interested by someone, whether you're a man or a woman, you can just approach someone without second thoughts about that being seem wrong or whatever

we are people, we're social by nature... and all those archaic "rules" never made much sense to me, they just get on the way lol

PJH359 · Answer

Major turn on…For someone like myself, a total introvert who gets tongue tied around a beautiful woman, it is totally necessary. If it weren’t for women approaching me and/or making the first moves, I would have had a very dull dating history. And besides…it’s 2022. Old rules have been thrown out the window.

alderoth · Answer

Man, I completely prefer it!! I am extremely shy, I am terrible in social situations, I have TERRIBLE confidence issues, I hate my body, I hate my physical appearance, I see every ex of mine as dodging a bullet by leaving. I feel I am only worth a good romp every few days that I pay for. So if a woman just happens to be interested in me, I would greatly appreciate it if they would approach me and tell me how they feel, or think about me. It would take so much stress off of me. Take care!!

OpenClose · Answer

It a good thing needs to happen way more. I always respect a woman more for trying to make a move, and generally give her a decent amount of slack.

If you have heard the opposite, it is either from controlling men, or especially women who like receiving attention but don't want to be expected to give it.

Wavvygurl · Answer

I posted a very similar question recently, and I ended up making a move. Please do it! Men love it.

wingattebaby16 · Answer

I have had to many times. Or i would not have gotten any sex! Some guys are so shy, they can barely even ask you out on a date.

MrCon10t · Answer

This is another weird one for me. I would absolutely love it if someone made the first move on me. The issue is that I’m finding out that people have in the past. They never directly stated anything though, As all they ever gave me were hints. And I had no idea what those hints were at the time, so I totally missed them. I really wish a woman would just walk up and say “hey, would you like to go out with me sometime?” That’d be alright with me!

20yearsolder · Answer

It's definitely a turn on, it's nice to know that we are wanted. I encourage women to go after what they want. Don't sit on your ass and wish something would happen, make it happen

Xoxocutekitty · Answer

It's only cool or if she is attractive/attractive enough. If she is too ugly or fat, he will laugh at/about her with his buddies.

PatriceONeal · Answer

No if someone shows interest in you.. that's typically a turn on. Women choose not to approach men becuase they simply don't have to.

Men are already programmed by society to literally do everything and make all the sacrifices. This is why most matured men are done.

WhitneySnow · Answer

I prefer when the guy asks me out but I’d make the first move if I had to

meh_days · Answer

I have been approached several times, i dont mind it. I usually consider going out in a coffee and getting to know a little bit casually. If i like them then I consider moving forward. It can be a fling, ONS, longterm. I don’t mind as long as there r no huge red flags

sheikalana · Answer

I made the first move with my now husband because he thought I was a catfish.

MrPickles13 · Answer

I like the idea I have to say. I'm a shy and anxious person by nature also a woman being that confident is sexy. As well as that it means she gets a lot of control over the pace of the relationship and shouldn't feel pressured. As I don't thinka relationship will ever work if one party feels pressured to progress gmfaster than they want to.

HawkPerception · Answer

Huge turn on. I'm much more likely to give them attention. It still matters if they're physically attractive. If they're physically attractive and make the first move, then I'll definitely be interested in getting to know them.

CindyRuns · Answer

I've done it... And I'm married to one of those guys... Very happily now for 9 years

dynamicyandere · Answer

It really depends on how it’s done. In a way, it’ll be new ‘first impression’. It may really escalate things if done well or leave a bad ‘first impression’ if not done well.

I think showing a clear sign of interest, but not being aggressively forward would be a good approach. And, you don’t want to come off as raunchy or trashy—just do or say something that lets them know you’re really into them.

kobeni · Answer

Obviously not a guy, but I've never ever heard of a guy complaining or disliking it, except in the obvious like extreme parasocial/stalker/obsessive situations.

fatguy29 · Answer

In this day in age I would almost prefer it if the girl made the first move, my very cautious mother raised me to be a person who always prefers to be safe rather than sorry so it makes my life and decision-making much much easier if she makes the first move

YungAndHung333 · Answer

It’s definitely the opposite all of my longest relationships have been from women pursuing me. Assertiveness is a trait that I believe all men enjoy we love and praise women who display confidence and make an effort. It shows that you are legitimately interested.

exitseven · Answer

I was really shy when I was in highschool. Even if I knew a girl liked me I was still afraid to make a move. It might have been nice to get a little push but I guess it made me either put up or shut up.

Crafteroon · Answer

Guys, like girls, like to feel wanted. Women complaining about their social situation while not willing to make the first move "on principle" is one of the dumbest things I know. It's wanting the benefits of equality, but not willing to deal with the responsibilities.

Make the first move. Even if it doesn't work out, you at least have the experience and now know how guys might feel in that situation.

tzdc21 · Answer

That would be f*cking awesome! It would give the message loud and clear to a guy saying, "I want you." Not a lot of guys ever get that message from a woman in their lives (And I'm not counting mothers). So when a woman does that, it's mind-blowing for most men because it NEVER happens. That's not a guarantee that he'll say yes, but he will be mind-blown by it most of the time. Definite turn on.

Adronicus · Answer

When I was younger women loved playing games. Now that I'm older I have 0 patience for them & will go cold if tried, permanently in a romantic sense. A woman has to make the first move or nothing's going to happen with me.

SaartjieJane · Answer

Honestly don’t know why guys would not like this… if I’m interested I’m not going to wait around for you to notice and then make your move.

IJhonnyI · Answer

I like when they do it makes me sure on the female and shows she knows what she wants so I all for it👌🏽

RobT312 · Answer

It’s a turn on. but I’ll be honest it hasn’t happened to me much at all. i have always been the aggressive one

TheorionMage · Answer

Am I just a hook-up or is there a potential for something more? Is it that you feel you haven't yet sown your wild oats? ?

sonic_fever · Answer

Literally every women I have dated or been with have made the move on me. It’s easier for a man to just go with it because it takes off all the initial pressure off him making the first move. Do it.

Khronuskeeper · Answer

Turn on, very much so. It means that even if I step up and start organising/planning date ideas, it's never going to be all on me.

kellytheman · Answer

I do wish more girls would make the first move sometimes it's fun and a change rather than be the hunted than the hunter. I also if girls made the first move there be less rejections and boost a guys confidence which him more sexy to a girl.

motownplayer2000 · Answer

It’s a turn on.. very hot. It’s rare to find a woman that knows what she wants.. it’s even more rare that we find a woman that will go for what she wants. So yeah. When that happens it’s a complete turn on

RuthlessAggression · Answer

It's a daring move. I've had it happen to me. Turns out she was just looking for sex though. I wasn't, so I turned her down Ladies, please make sure you know what you want, before you ask us out!

ChiTown33 · Answer

I'm OK with it. But I've also said many times I don't have ANY problem with asking women out. The problem today is so many women want a relationship but they want it completely on their terms. Life doesn't work that way is all.
A woman has to at least make enough effort to show her interest to me. Or I won't make the effort to ask her out. I don't think that's unreasonable.

Ninjawolf · Answer

What turns me on is that a woman can hold my hand, looking at me in the eyes and lastly, my main favorite part, giving me a footsie😲😳🥴☺️🥰😍

mstbooblover · Answer

Really, that would be fantastic if ever a woman made the first move to me. Not gonna happen though... That's only a typical male fantasy I guess.

SpaceGalaxy · Answer

It is a turn off to me if a woman i am interested in makes the first move. I man-up and make the first move, always.

aliiiek · Answer

Well it's not normal , i feel pretty suspecous about it , but i might say yes If the girls was hot

peedy · Answer

Perfectly fine by me, let them do the work for a change let them feel the nervousness the anxiety, and the pain of rejection
Equal rights means equal rights

PS) I've always felt that it was a sure thing when the woman came on to me

FactsRULE · Answer

I'm 50 and I have NEVER made the first move.. I never have to and still don't.

one1wild00 · Answer

Some guys need the proverbial 2x4 or better yet the whole lumber yard hit across their head to realize a gal likes them. in this case, the gal can a if she want to should ask the guy.

Avicenna · Answer

It’s only a turn-off if it’s insincere or done really badly

Djaay · Answer

Considering my cultral status and all , NO its not something that i can be open too. But for some others out there i can't see why not at some point or another. Since i can't really talk for others , I've known certain relationships have been ok this way.

moviedude714 · Answer

I admire that but why do I get the feeling of those type of women will forever be in the extreme minority

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

I don't mind ladies making the first move I'm way too shy

xNiko · Answer

I think it's completely normal nowadays for girls to make the first move or at least giving very... obvious hints..
A lot of guys are scared to be turned down or something and hope for the girl to make a move..

Ask_Again_Later · Answer

I would never make a move. The chances of a guy already liking someone else are high. So, you’d either end up being rejected or with a guy that settled for you.

TommyMountainFigure · Answer

I have no problem with women making the first move, providing I'm available of course. Equally, I have no problem asking a lady out first. I'm not shy or embarrassed by either scenario.

Likes2drive · Answer

I wouldn’t mind as long as I’m attracted to her but unfortunately the ones that like me are not the type I would go for

MartinGoulet · Answer

IT is a turn on for me, because that way I am sure she as an interest in me. I will feel less anxious when making invitations because there won't any threat of sexual harassment.

Ευδεμονια · Answer

I would feel destabilised since it ain’t something you find easily especially where do I live. It goes against the usual functioning of society. I would immediately think the woman is joking or is trying to sell me something or to rob me.

Guys, how do you feel about women making the first move to get with you? Is that a turn off/on?

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Guys, give me your thoughts. Do you like it when a woman makes the first move and asks you out?

Guys, how do you feel about women making the first move to get with you? Is that a turn off/on?

Most Helpful Opinions

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What Girls & Guys Said

Guys, give me your thoughts. Do you like it when a woman makes the first move and asks you out?

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