Should I end my friendship of 20 YEARS with my BFF due to our differences…Sick of her SCIENCE Obsession?

[Anonymous]

I’ve posted here before but never really had any valid advice.

im 27 and my bff of 20 years is also 27, we grew up together and have been extremely close since.

the problem is we started sort of having different interests around 23-24 years old.

i am a marketing major, love fashion and pop culture, kardashians, music and so on where as my bestfriend is obsessed with space and Einstein as she is an astronomy /physics major and is working towards a phd and working as a researcher.

she dresses in Einstein/ physics related T-shirts when we go to obviously formal brunches with out other friends. She doesn’t wear makeup or look girly at all. She doesn’t contribute to our conversations about pop culture or boyfriend issues, Will only discuss sciencey shit

all of us girls are excited to go see the new barbie movie but she’s dead set on going to see Oppenheimer by herself.

i sound like an ass but I don’t know if I should end it cause we are so different…please help

[Anonymous]

I’m 31, ended a friendship last year with a woman I’ve known my whole life, we called each other sisters and everyone thought we were. Like you, I struggled with whether or not to cut ties for several years before coming to that conclusion by force.
It didn’t end well for us, and because I see you heading down a similar path, by advice is to do what feels right, and if that’s ending your friendship then that’s just what it is. People grow apart, it’s part of life. There’s no rules to this, you don’t have to like never talk again, just giving each other some space to live your lives separately. What you don’t want is for there to be some explosive, unsalvageable ending that could’ve totally been avoided had you went your separate ways any of the numerous times you’ve considered it. It’s better to have an amicable end, or just distance yourself if you don’t want to sever ties completely.

[Anonymous]

Why do you care anout if she uses makeup or not or what clothing style she has? It’s completely irrelevant to anyone who isn’t like 14 and part of a cliche high school movie where the plot revolves around cliques. What movie she wants to go and see alone is also completely irrelevant. You seem incredibly shallow for wanting to end a friendship with someone you’ve been friends with for 20 years listing stupid things like that as reasons. Having different interest isn’t an issue either. You can learn stuff from her or each other. No. You shouldn’t end your friendship. You should grow up.

[madhatters4]

i think if you two alone do not get along then maybe that ends the friendship but how she gets on and plays along with your friends should be less important.

the most important is, do you two still have fun together, have good conversations, enjoy being with each other... if yes then the friendship can still exist and you just would have to understand that she may not necessarily need to be included in larger friend hang outs

[madhatters4]

thanks for MHO

[Curmudgeon]

She's right about seeing Oppenheimer. The Barbie movie is awful:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barbie_(film)#Plot

https://www.youtube.com/embed/S8UueT203rs

[Asker]

Why would she want to see that boring movie? I dot. Get it, she’s even wearing a physics T shirt to see it 🤢

[Curmudgeon]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cS_8KUJC6k

[MissBoogus]

Perhaps not end things, but loosen that rope a bit. Let her do her own thing, you do you, it’s ok to split apart a bit and learn to love from a distance. In 10, 20 or 30 years you guys may have similar interests again.

[Anonymous]

If your core values are aligned you should be able to work something out for the long term. Maybe you'll feel differently when you're older.
Conversely, sometimes friendships have a lifetime...

[Anonymous]

Oppenheimer is fictional drama, not fact. Why would she enjoy that?

[Asker]

Aparently it’s non fiction

[worldscolide]

Lol no it's not fiction, please for the love of God pick up a history book. Oppenheimer is the one that coined the phrase "I am become death the destroyer of worlds" and is the in venter of the atomic bomb.. Wow. What the hell do they teach you in school seriously.

[Asker]

@worldscolide why would she want to see that crappy movie about boring science instead of funny barbie

[worldscolide]

Think of it like this, one is enriching the mind, food for the mind.. That would be Oppenheimer.. One is like candy or junk food for the mind. That would be barbie.

[worldscolide]

You're literally hating on her for being intelligent. And choosing to do intelligent things. I married someone very much like her.

[Anonymous]

If you don't want to be her friend due to differing interests, you're the one with the problem not her. It shows both pettiness and shallowness on your part, and makes you a shitty friend.