Do you think having a prenup is an insult to your partner?

Question

I personally wish to have a prenup agreement for one particular property only, not for all assets I own. It’s a business which has been inherited to me and my grandparents and parents gave their all to achieve. I’m sure they will want it to be protected as well. However guys never seem to understand this and they get all worked up and angry. It has nothing to do with me not trusting them, but they all say it’s an insult. I personally would understand in a situation like that. How would you feel?

dynamicyandere · Accepted Answer

If it’s just between the two of you, it can be seen as distrust.

Like, when a divorce happens, assets don’t HAVE to be spilt 50/50. (Even though an attorney can ‘fight’ for that.)

If you are on good terms, you can still carefully negotiate and divide what is rightfully yours and what is rightfully theirs.

By forcing someone to sign a prenup, it can come off as assuming the worst, that they will not be civil if things go south, that you can’t trust them—that they would be vengeful and greedy and want to take what’s not theirs.

In my opinion, both asking for a prenup and refusing to sign a prenup are signs that the relationship may need to be re-evaluated.

Is marriage really right for you and how much do you really trust each other?

And if things don’t work out, are you both going to carry yourselves with honor and integrity, or will you be at at other’s throats, trying to take everything you can from the other?

I’m my opinion, if a prenup is needed then the relationship isn’t ready for a marriage yet.

The one you marry should be someone that you can trust will not take advantage of you, even if they had the power to do so.

Datboi65 · Accepted Answer

Funny that you said that, because women almost NEVER understand why men ask for prenuptial agreements until the ball is in their court and they're the ones with the money. I will still maintain that you as a woman with inheritance should protect yourself financially through asking your man to sign a prenup.

Ladies, if your man asks you for a prenup you should SIGN it provided that it's a FAIR deal that has been verified and explained to you by a lawyer that was appointed to represent you in going through the terms. If it's not a fair deal, don't sign it. If you let go of a good deal just because you wanted more than what was given (i. e. 50% of what he owns in all of his assets by default), understand that you're going to lose your opportunity to be with a man who was able to accumulate that wealth in the first place, and you may probably never come across a man of such caliber again. When it comes down to it, something is better than nothing.

Be smart.

SakuraBlossoms87 · Accepted Answer

I'm going to be very blunt.

The people you've spoken to get insulted because they're achieve little / nothings and think if they get involved with you they'd be entitled to your family's work. They're not.

They are the masculine version of the dreaded gold digger and nothing else.

Besides men like this are not adults, they're 10-year-old boys trapped in adult bodies who think because they're no longer living with mommy they're actually grown up.

.

So I would suggest you increase your dating standards from whatever chump says hi.

Because if you increase your dating standards and date real men - men who have achieved something or are aiming to achieve something with themselves - you'll find that few or almost none of them will be crying about your prenup.

They'd be understanding because losing their achievements / valuables is a valid concern of theirs and they may even ask you to sign their prenup as well.

.

menina · Accepted Answer

It's funny that you're asking this. The other day I was watching a reality show and there was a couple arguing over a prenup. The man wanted it but the woman refused it because she thought he didn't trust her.

I personally wouldn't feel insulted if my partner wanted a prenup. I think it's fair, if your grandparents and parents worked hard for it, then it's yours. It should stay in your family.

It's not a matter of suspicion, it's a matter of keeping what's yours.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

I am an attorney and I have written and reviewed prenuptial agreements. Almost always, the parents or grandparents were the driving force behind the push to get an agreement. The more one person objects to the idea, the more suspect their motives become!

I would consent to a prenuptial agreement if my fiancée wanted one.

coachTanthony · Answer

Most people who need it never use it and the ones who don't ruin their relationship with one.

Anonymous · Answer

I think it depends on the situation. If you have substantial assets your partner should understand. You could say by wanting a prenuptial signals you don't truly love that person. And I submit to you that the person not understanding that that person has a lot to lose signals that that person doesn't truly love the person who wants the prenuptial.

It's called a prenuptial. It's a business arrangement of sorts. It has nothing to do with the actual relationship. If you think the prenuptial is unfair then negotiate it better. If they won't budge and you think you're not getting your fair do, you're not being protected then conclude they don't love you and move on. But don't assign worthless emotion to a business arrangement. Put the shoe on the other foot. Imagine you had steep assets and they were coming into the union with much less. How would you feel about it? HONESTLY?

In a perfect world where everyone is equal this shouldn't even come up but we don't live in a perfect world.

That's my take.

rigmarole · Answer

What kind of business did your grandparents and parents build? It seems like if it's going to be inherited, then an irrevocable trust with some sort of language defined in the terms of the trust that states nonbeneficiaries are not entitled to receive any assets from the trust could be set up. If it is passing from generation to generation, then a trustee needs to be appointed to do the job and abide by the grantor’s wishes while acting in the best interests of the beneficiaries. That's a pretty common way to handle it. So long as it's set up that way before you get married to anyone, it should be pretty iron clad if the language is correct. Then when you go, it passes to your children if you have any. Trusts can own corporate stock and then you can work for that corporation and earn a salary.

RavVid · Answer

I think prenups are a good idea - even if you are just cohabiting. Courts can just start accepting cohabiting as a common law marriage.

I would suggest it should cover all pre-existing assets however and contributions to joint assets subsequently acquired. Say you and your partner bought a house and you put in 90% of the deposit and mortgage repayments than it would be highly unfair for a 50-50 split on divorce.

A potential problem could be courts might take signing a prenup as being done under duress and consequently invalid if you slap one down. So you should investigate that side.

provokeesmokee · Answer

Nah, it's just good planning.

A prenup protects them, too.

And if a relationship can't handle preparing for the worst in a mature and adult way, including considering how to protect each other should the relationship end, it wasn't a relationship with a future anyways.

LiamJHayden · Answer

Depending upon where you live, putting properties in a trust is even safer than a prenup, as prenups do get tossed out for any number of reasons at trhe whim of a judge. For example, in California:

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

In this day and age i agree with you because you never know when things go down and bam it's a divorce bye bye...
In the past prenups didn't existed because once you're married, you're forever married, that was the norm, a man and a woman became one after marriage so no one used to worry about the assets and belongings, especially the man since the wife used to be a housewife, she was there for him forever... they live together and die together...

I'm a man who wants such life in this generation but i know that it sounds like a fairytale in a fiction book 😂

Sasha0426 · Answer

People see it as a trust issue thing because you’re accusing them they’ll take advantage of you. They think, “Wow! After all this time, you don’t trust me. What’s the point of this marriage then?”
That’s why men are the main ones who request a prenup because they think, “My wife is a gold digger. She’s going to take advantage of me.” Which makes no sense because why would you let your relationship get that far?
HOWEVER, prenups are a type of insurance. If one partner dies, god forbid, your assets will be safe. I think if more people think of it that way, they’ll understand more.
I also agree that some people get mad because they won’t have a chance to take your stuff. So do be careful and do what’s right for you both.

msc545 · Answer

Prenups can in many instance be worthless. Family law court Judges can and often do invalidate prenups and change the terms for any reason or no reason. Remember that family law courts are courts of equity.

Your ability to reverse an advese decision is dependent on your ability to come up with the $$$$ needed (attorney fees) to file an appeal which you may very well not win.

I am not a lawyer and I have no idea what you can do in lieu of a prenup that might be more reliable. You should ask a real lawyer.

Anonymous · Answer

I won't marry or date an American, so in your case, what you're doing is the wisest thing you can do. There is no such thing as functional relationships in the U. S. anymore. It's just temporary ass and cute for cash for a couple years until the next social media model comes along. Only immigrants know how to have them, because their cultures value what it takes to cultivate one. For those that do choose to get married in the USA... that's the ONLY way to do it. Failure to do so, means you'll DEFINITELY be sorry, much sooner rather than later. It's not about gender, it's about cultural values. You can't trust someone from the USA.

BCRanger10 · Answer

Yes, because you're telling prospective suitors that you don't trust them. You might say and think you trust them,  but  do you really?  You're telling them that you think you may encounter problems that you, either as an individual or as a couple, will be either unable or, even worse, unwilling to resolve. You're making your husband a potential legal adversary before you even meet him.

blueonblack22 · Answer

Nah you have just as much of a right to this and as any man does.

But I get how prenups come off as a layer of “mistrust”. A marriage is supposed to be commitment and bind between two people for the rest of their lives. A prenup is a bet against that.

Sadly though it’s more and more necessary nowadays. If you are rich and/or a celebrity it’s literally a requirement.

Sun_Kim-Ai · Answer

No, it's smart and a sound decision instead.

My wife and I got an iron-clad one, we both own business and have considerable assets - it's not about a lack of trust, it's about protecting what our families and we built in case things don't go as planned.

Fireguy17 · Answer

Nope.
My wife and I have one.
Both our second marriage.
We have a fairly large income disparity, and her spending habits vs mine are way different.
This way we both protect what we have while we still like each other.
Her assets and her retirement are protected, and so are mine.

Jersey2 · Answer

You can explain that you have an obligation to protect the family business and this is something that is needed.

The property could also be handed down to you with the condition that you need a prenup so its something you need to do.

This is something that should be acceptable.

Unit1 · Answer

Not at all. I believe having a prenuptial agreement is essential in this hypercommercial age and you never know which people are love-selling backstabbers and in it for the riches you have until you get one or learn it the very bitter and hard way.

Mansearching · Answer

All depends on what is listed and reasons there of.

If man/woman sign one:

1. Man treasts woman like shit, prenup null and void. Same as other way.

2. Cheating by either party (signer) its iron clad, except for the victim in marriage.

Have to use common sense in signing one.

Exterminatore · Answer

No. I think the future is unknown and preparing for hardship in the future is wise. There is literally nothing saying the person you plan to marry, whom you love and trust at present time will not betray you in the future. That divorce will never occur for any reason. Better to ensure your finances are secure at the start.

RingOfFire · Answer

What is really difficult is if there is a gigantic difference in wealth between partners. The one with all the money is taking a big gamble. Even relationships that are fantastic can end up falling apart. It is definitely an unromantic thing to talk about but for someone wealthy it is a major issue. You always have to wonder if it is you or your money they love. And many times even they don't know.: it is subconscious.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

LOL Yes and No. Yes because you are telling them you aren't confident the marriage is going to last til death

No, because realistically if you have a lot of resources you have to protect it lest someone takes advantage of you and you lose half all your hard work and sacrifices you did to attain such wealth.

Kacka · Answer

mostly it will. if u both from same class, if person whos family demanding it is rich it shouldn't be any problems , if u are the one who want it. look for other partner just. u don't trust him. so what's point, why would u want have person all around your life u cannot trust..

Billlewis · Answer

The only reason I'd sign a prenuptial agreement is if it's advantageous for the woman, because the only reason I have relationships with women is to serve them in as many different ways as possible.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

I don't see anything wrong with having a prenup. If you both have legal counsel when the agreement is written, they can be highly beneficial to both partners.

ChooChooHaha · Answer

That part is understandable. BUT, do you have to start your marriage plotting how it ends? Why would he want your inherited business, when he had nothing to do with it?

Static_In_The_Attic · Answer

Marriage is like a hurricane there is a lot of blowing in the beginning & when it’s all said & done your house is gone. A prenup isn’t an insult it’s a necessity nowadays.

msmissydc · Answer

No, every sane person should do it. If you think you will life happy for ever than you can just ignore it while it exists. If that doesn't happen you should be happy to have one.

Anonymous · Answer

You’re basically going out of your way to plan for one partner abandoning the other partner and even making it easier for either of you two to separate. Are you more or less likely to do something if you don’t lose anything? A prenup is a guaranteed divorce. Why even have marriage vows if you’ve built in the loophole? The only true thing in the marriage is the prenup. How is this marriage NOT going to fail?

Spongebobssocks · Answer

No. I think the opposite. For what reason wouldn't you be okay with it... its a red flag if you dont wanna sign one👀

bolverk · Answer

These days a prenup agreement is not an insult, as it allows you to ring fence businesses/properties that are outside the marriage that the intended has had no input into, But over here in the UK they are virtually unenforceable,

Anonymous · Answer

I hear prenuptial agreements are not foolproof because a wife can just say that she had to sign it under duress or say that she had to sign it in order for the husband to marry her and the judge will scrap it.

I probably shouldn't find out if this is true the hard way but it appears many have.

strateguy632 · Answer

the opposite. someone who opposed a prenup shows their plans

Anonymous · Answer

No it's not. You're supposed to enter marriage seriously. Not as a cheat mode to get a divorce back door to home ownership. If marriage gives a woman security, a prenuptial gives a man security.

BoopBoopBeep · Answer

Women in the asset class I tend to date usually prefer a prenuptial agreement anyway, so it's just a matter of ironing out details.

genericname85 · Answer

no, i think rejecting a prenup is an insult. cause that means you're planning to fuck them over.

anonguy2000 · Answer

Not really. I think its more of an insult to guilt a partner into not having one if they want it. Imho

Anonymous · Answer

Personally, I think it fair to protect anything you had before the relationship started. It was yours, it is yours.

But anything you create together or grow together is subject for the divorce lawyers if you ever go that route.

molonski2 · Answer

Its far from an insult , its absolutely vital piece of obvious planning.

Anonymous · Answer

Nope it's not an Insult. If the person who you plan on marrying has an issue with it. I would be running far away from that person.

admles · Answer

I would be wary of someone who refused to sign a pre-nup, to me it would mean they were just concerned about money. If they loved me for me, then they would have no problem signing one.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

No, it should be required to even get married.

sheikalana · Answer

No. Is a plan in case things don't go as planned.

Dkc123 · Answer

No. Its necessary like an insurance... But the thing us most of the time its ineffective..

dudeinohio · Answer

A prenup is a slap in the face. It is a document written, expecting a divorce. Plus, in many states, they are nearly worthless anymore.

Vegasrunner · Answer

For starters I think it's pretty foolish for a man to get married anyway but if he chooses to, a prenuptial would be a necessity.

BigDog1989 · Answer

Now you're sort of seeing while marriage is NOT NECESSARY. Why should people get half your stuff, if you divorce. ITS A SCAM

AnusNdaPainus · Answer

I never understood why any man would marry a woman with a prenup for insurance  it’s like a zookeeper with a gun

rienna888 · Answer

Hell no I think it’s dumb to take half after divorce

Mallic00 · Answer

Oh NOW women want prenups. In all seriousness of someone asks me for a prenup that means they recognize marriage for what it is... a contract and treat it as such. That's respectable.

Anonymous · Answer

I believe all marriages should have a prenuptial agreement in placement by default. You should be building a future together, not aiming to take it over

Jamie05rhs · Answer

No; it's not. It's not about them. It's not personal.

jwmiller95 · Answer

No, shouldn't be. Women take it as being called a thief though they don't see it from our standpoint

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

Nope I've worked hard to get what I have and I won't get married without one. If the really love you then they won't be worried about what you have

elontesler3 · Answer

get a prenup, never know if theyll go coocoo. trust me, i invented the Tesler Sibertruck, SpaceseX, and i own Twatter.

Anonymous · Answer

No, those who are insulted are looking to get a lifetime salery

robocop666 · Answer

Nope why should a partner get 50% is he divorces you?

Nikki1989 · Answer

Prenups are useless these days.

rosemilk · Answer

no i think it's smart and logical

lightbulb27 · Answer

Id understand and respect that.

sheenagwapa · Answer

it is not an insult. i think it is just fair

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