Why would a very HAPPILY married man with a BEAUTIFUL wife cheat with me?

[Anonymous]

Back in 2011, a coworker and I met and we were immediately drawn to each other. Nothing happened but we definitely flirted whenever he was in the building that year. Butterflies everytime. I never saw him again for about 8 more years in 2019. We ran into each other and ended up exchanging numbers.

We struck up a texting relationship that became sexual through text only. We are extremely attracted and can’t believe we still had a connection years later. The problem is he got married in 2018. His wife is BEAUTIFUL. They are very in love and happy. I am also attractive which is odd to type, but I am sure he wouldn't cheat if I wasn't. He is THAT handsome and could get anyone he wants.

Fast forward to 2023. It took 3 years of texting before we both finally caved and it has now been physical between us for a year. Mind you we live in the same city so we could have easily met up plenty of times. I’m sure he struggled with the idea of cheating as did I. We do not meet often, once about every 10 days or so because of how hard it is with both our schedules. We meet, make out and do just about everything except go all the way. We haven’t had actual sex. But it’s the most mind blowing, passionate hour when we are together. We don’t speak of his wife. I’m not even sure he even knows I know he is married.

Why does he do it? He has a gorgeous, kind wife, married his best friend and you can actually feel the love they have for eachother. He also is well loved by everyone around him. I know he loves her intensely. He’s not truly getting sex from me.

Am I the one who got away? Does he love me too? Why would a man who seemed to struggle with the idea of cheating finally cave?

I never thought I’d be this woman. He’s actually the only man I’ve ever allowed to touch me. Yes, I have waited for marriage my entire life but it hasn’t happened, and I was tired of waiting. So I finally decided it will be him after all these years. I just wonder why he risks everything to see me.

[AviatorTom]

When someone (man or woman) has something good and can have something just as good too, why not do that?

The male body is built to impregnate as many women as possible. That's an innate part of every man that is sometimes hard to ignore.

[Asker]

Do you think a part of him loves me too?

[AviatorTom]

I really have no idea if he might love you.

[Anonymous]

If he's not getting sex from you, and it's over a number of years, that's a deep emotional connection, I'd guess.

It's possible to love two people in different ways and get different things from each one. Some people live their lives that way formally.

Not entirely sure what you get from this long term. There's no progression. But if it works for you in the meantime..

[Anonymous]

You’re making this trashy man out to be some kind of romantic hero. He’s not. The way this thing reads, it sounds like you’re making this situation out to be some kind of passionate Romeo and Juliet story. It’s not. Cheating is not romantic. It’s wrong. And you know it's wrong.

Don’t put your feelings above morality.

[Asker]

You are right. I fight my demons daily. I am a woman with morals, or so I believed. I have waited 35 years! I just can't let him go for some reason.

[midnightmoon05]

Ever try putting yourself in her shoes?
block him and get yourself a real man. You deserve better than being a side chick. He has nothing to lose. You are wasting your youth on a piece of poppy.
I didn’t read all the DETAILS…. It’s not necessary.

[RoseySarah]

Why not have a hot wife and you? In his mind he has both!

For some reason she is not enough for him and really you won't be either he is selfish and will drop you for the next exciting thing!

Really in his mind he is risking nothing maybe she has a small drive after a kid or she hates him in bed?

[Asker]

Thank you for replying! I have been struggling with this for years. No kids yet and I highly doubt she hates him in bed lol. He is a great man at his core, we both have obviously been holding back and haven't had actual sex yet. But we keep coming back?

[RoseySarah]

So doubt he is a good man. A good man would not consider cheating!
He can't be good and I so bet your not the first mistress!

It's easy for him it is hard for you! Do you have a man?

Lmaomake sure he won't give u kids! What kinks does he like or just wants sex? Any romantic sexting or just naughty sexting?

[Asker]

I am not sure if he has other mistresses, but I just highly doubt it. He never really pressured me to meet him for a good 3 years. This does not seem easy for him either.

I know cheater and "good man" goes against every grain in my body to mention in the same sentence. I know this is wrong. I know I am "homewrecker". We have done everything besides have actual sex, we both know to be careful not to get me pregnant. It is harddd holding back. So I always wonder why does he choose me when he could get another mistress who would give him actual sex?

[RoseySarah]

He love playing the game with you! 3 years probably went through 2 other girls before you!
The longer you don't have sex the more he will want what he can't have!

After sex he will probably get bored of you quickly! He likes the hunt!

[Asker]

I actually think a part of him is glad we are not full on having sex so that he doesn't feel as guilty.

[wishiwasfiction]

These type of things are why I have trust issues with people, I've seen it around all too often. It's like you can't trust even the most decent looking person nowadys.

[hershey1kiss2]

It’s the confidence in his d*** game mixed with the aura that he can still sexually satisfy women other than his wife. Like he became really good at sex and wondered how other women would be impacted by his sex skills.

[jahaims]

He isn't happy.

[Asker]

Did you read my post? Just wondering if you still think this after reading all the details.

[jahaims]

You are trying to make being a homewrecker with a trash husband into some romantic fantasy. You are just a homewrecker and he is just using you for sex and attention so he doesn't have to deal with his problems with his wife.

[midnightmoon05]

Exactly!!!