I've noticed people aren't into dating as much as they used to be. Sadly I've noticed relationships fail easily now days too. Back 40 and 50 years ago it seems like everyone was dating and hanging out with other friends and stuff, but now I see less of it.
Anonymous(30-35)+1 yWell there are certainly a few factors at play compared to several decades ago.
On one hand you have ladies who have really been drilled into the thinking of "never settle" or "build your own career" or "sleep with as many people as you want" now this on the surface level might not seem so bad until you see the wider reaching effects. The lesson never settle caused certain women to want that perfect hollywood built surgeon gangster boyfriend or husband what do I mean by this essentially a man is has the incredible looks, fit and height who has a higher paying job then her yet still lives somewhat dangerously to keep the excitement in her life. This sadly causes them to forgo many other potential guys who would be great boyfriends or husbands guy is 5 foot 7 in has a nice personality and a great job but forgo him for a taller guy who has the looks and a great job but not the best personality.
Build your own career ones get locked in a mindset where they will build a career and focus on a husband or family later. Truth is a lot of guy's don't mind what kind of career a woman has they want qualities that will make a good wife and mother. So instead of working on themselves and finding more relationship or marriage driven guys first and then focusing on a career. They spend all this time in school and then after they are established they look around and are surprised that many men are not looking in their age range as much. They also think "with my career I won't be beholden to a man I will never have a husband who walks over me" okay so you are now beholden to a faceless, monolithic business, corporate structure or job system that won't give you the love or the bonds that a Husband and children could give you. It is sad I feel sorry for these ladies but often many don't accept hard truths until later because they surround themselves with people that just praise every decision they make.
Then those that sleep around a lot. It is understandable if you were in serious relationships you eventually sleep together thinking things will work out that is perfectly fine. The problem comes when you waste your 20's sleeping with all kinds of guys just because and even worse if you have kids and then expect a guy to just come along and help support you and you don't even want to have more kids with him. This often ties back to the good looking guy that carries red flags but since he is a 9 or a 10 those flags get ignored and they have kids with him despite their being 7 and 8 rated guys who have many good qualities that would never leave a family they started getting ignored.
Now there is also another side men play a part in this as well. This is by some extent society and their own faults as well and as another poster mentioned the lack of testosterone in men is apparent in many ways. Chalk it up to certain men cutting red meat or meats in general from their diets, not working out with lifting or cardio, not watching their weight and being lazy etc.
But, society at least mainstream has been telling men for a good part of I would say 20 years maybe more they should be more like women. Not directly saying those words but things like you should always express your emotions, cry whenever you feel like crying anyone telling you to hold back tears is the problem (ironically these same people will mock you for crying if they find out you have different world views or beliefs then them but I digress) look yes Women on average want their significant other to be emotionally available to them but not an emotional wreck. What does it matter if a guy cries and shares his emotions with you if when a homeless man brandishing a broken glass bottle out of his mind he cries and steps back with his girlfriend instead of getting between her and the homeless guy. Hence the key word emotionally available to them not the entire world they still need to be reliable and serious when it counts.
You see men being more passive aggressive instead of speaking their mind in part of conditioning another part in that our society is losing the ability to agree to disagree and not have a hissy fit at a different opinion. Men talking in more nasal or high pitch like mannerisms as well or having over the top reactions to things or fan-girling *shutters* in part this is due to societal conditioning on another the internet and social media like to utilize these things for more engagement so it is encouraged that way.
Plus with the way online dating is stacked against men and socialization going down you see many withdrawing from the game and not trying to fight at all. This is a fatal flaw yes the online standards make it more difficult and yes many factors work against you but you still have to try for the betterment of yourself and to find the right kind of women who deserves your love. This question has many factors and layers and I can't touch on all of them but others have mentioned them in their posts. But, questions, comments, clarifications needed just ask. Hope this sheds some light on the subject.
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Most Helpful Opinions
- 2.2K opinions shared on Relationships topic.
+1 yOf course it is.
40 years ago, 60 years ago people were looking for husbands and wives and dated with that as a goal. Men were more masculine and had more of a sense of honor, pride, duty, courage, bravery... women wanted to marry, they wanted a man, they didn't want to be single until they were 28 as they slept around all they could until they had that out of their system to then find some "nice guy" to settle for.
Women dated the men in their real life circle. They didn't have 100's of men from all over sending them dm's offering to meet up and trying to get sex with them.
Now the gender roles are so effed up, everyone is just screwing around until they are 27-35, body counts out the roof, no one is honest about what they want and are after.
Dating and relationships today is a cesspool.
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Anonymous(25-29)+1 yBecause most males today look like you that’s why. Testosterone deficient.
That leaves us women fighting for the scarps. The scarps are a select few viable males with high levels of testosterone. These are narcissistic spoiled males that won’t settle because they have the pick of the litter.
Testosterone Deficiency in Males has created all the single mothers. Modernism and Modern Society too. But mainly these food products and even water we consume. Women refuse to reproduce with an unhealthy male. And I don’t blame them. We risk everything in pregnancy.
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- 4.1K opinions shared on Relationships topic.
+1 yI think the hard part is preparing and getting yourself morally and spiritually ready to be the best version of yourself for your partner. Once you're ready to be a husband, getting somebody is as easy as eating a bowl of sugar, but the preparation takes time. I wasn't ready until my late 30s.
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What Girls & Guys Said
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22Opinion
- 9.6K opinions shared on Relationships topic.
u +1 yThe current generation prefers to do things digitally rather than in the real world and that really impacts the development of social skills.
00 Reply 796 opinions shared on Relationships topic. statistically they are harder when you factor in population size, meeting certain requirements and finding people who meet your certain requirements
for someone like one of the Hemsworth brothers, it's not a issue. for someone like a 5'3 Indian janitor, there are plenty of issues right there alone
keep in mind even if a guy does put in the work and passes some imaginary finishing line, he is met with a sea of undesirable women from gold-diggers to sluts to feminists to harpies to energy vampires etc. and somewhere in that sea is a diamond that plenty of other men are trying to find
10 Reply1. 40-50 years ago, there was no such thing as finding "the one". It was all about making relationships work. Back then, people married to create a family and take care of each other forever. Nowadays, marriage is not supposed to be about taking care of each other forever but rather should be an "experience".
2. people aren't socializing nearly as much nowadays. Back then before the advent of facebook, MySpace, Instagram, people actually went out to the neighborhood to talk to their neighbors. Nowadays, people avoid small talk in the elevator by staring at their phones.
3. Due to how easy it is to find new friends / dates over the internet, human relationships have become more disposable nowadays. If you can't work out with one person, just go on the app and find someone else.
12 Replyinternet has made people are very socially awkward, disconnected and made most of the population treat dating or even making friends very impersonal, like instead of being a person with feelings you are just there to use as needed. i think a lot of people are into flirting, sexting, talking, whatever online or text and consider that legit dating
20 Reply- 3.1K opinions shared on Relationships topic.
+1 yyes for many. values are damaged.
with perception of abundance, people aren't willing to do the hard work of making some changes and accepting some issues. It becomes easier to cut the pain and leave.
That said... I see people dating, marrying and having kids. I see some struggling and fighting through difficult issues.
And most everyone still wants a good relationship.
10 Reply I don't know. I think dating gets harder the older you get because you get pickier and you’re on a time crunch depending on what your goals are. But honestly it got easier for me when I hit 30. I am in better place financially, mentally and physically. I started dating my current boyfriend and we have talked about marriage and children and our goals align with each other, something that didn’t hold true for my relationships when I was younger
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+1 yI think dating is way harder now than it was even 12 years ago.. the internet and the younger generations ruined it.. and made sharing and sleeping with good looking people without commitment the norm.. so basically if you want a relationship you have to go out with people you ain't even attracted to.. which I much rather not be involved in..
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Anonymous(30-35)+1 yThere could be a myriad of reasons, so it’s hard to pinpoint exactly why. 40-50 years ago we didn’t have the technology we do now, so people did a lot more socializing in person. Relationships were also viewed differently than they are now, and divorce is not as stigmatized. I’m sure there are others, those are just a couple that came to mind.
10 ReplyRelationship can be hard to be found now days because this generation is so focus on hooking up culture, play games with other feelings, and it's messed up I think if people started to be honest with themselves with there feelings without playing games that would be amazing but the thing is I see that most of people now days also are scared to be in a relationship because in there mind set they either just don't want a relationship or scared to put there heart out there.
10 Reply541 opinions shared on Relationships topic. Yup! I give up on dating. Feels so one sided to me. Just annoying, I don't like to feel unwanted. So I stopped. Well once in awhile I'll check out 1 dating app. It's like a toy part one has hope. But then again, people these days are strange, picky and or selfish. How do you even trust a stranger. I'm like half through my life. So I try to focus on Me more. If I ever by a miracle meet someone great! If not that's fine. Best way to meet someone is through someone. Everyone seems to be taken. F all that.
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+1 yBecause people, especially women, have 1000 times more options now with online dating. The slightest little thing feels off, and she’s going to ghost you and go right back on Tinder. People get bored way easier because everything is 1000 times easier than it was 40-50 years ago. You have a million and one options at your fingertips.
10 Reply- 2.5K opinions shared on Relationships topic.
+1 yI think you can still find them if you want them, especially if you’re in high school or college
10 Reply - 779 opinions shared on Relationships topic.
+1 yThanks to feminism, social media, and dating apps it is harder than ever to find relationships. This is because women have an over-inflated sense of self-worth that verges on narcissism and they the guys they actually qualify for a relationship with are beneath them so they just keep getting passed around by Chads. As their body counts rise they become less able to pair-bond with a man, compounding the problem further.
00 Reply - 1.2K opinions shared on Relationships topic.
+1 yIt's definitely gotten harder. I don't even think it's because people have more options, either. I just think people are just self absorbed assholes who don't have any concept of the way their actions impact other people.
00 Reply - 561 opinions shared on Relationships topic.
+1 yThere's more people out there now a days I think its just harder to find a serious person but if you ask all the right questions then that should be fairly easy to find.
00 Reply 9.9K opinions shared on Relationships topic. Everyone I know are married, in a relationship or dating regularly, so I don't know what the problem is with people on here.
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+1 yNo I ain't in the problem is that most people want to find someone who is perfect and that's something that is not going to happen. They both need to work on their relationship and willing to give it their best.
00 Reply4.3K opinions shared on Relationships topic. From both aspects it is hard. Relationships are hard to find and also to find the right one.
00 Reply- 1.8K opinions shared on Relationships topic.
+1 yIts hard because its hard to find the right one. Its easier than it used to be though.
00 Reply I think we are living the collapse of western civilization. Some may argue that I am crazy, but in all ages, every civilization that has fallen, has falled, starting from within.
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+1 yI think it is harder. Things are more complicated. Nothing ever seems straight forward. Luckily some of us are still out there, the traditional type. But far and few
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+1 yIt's harder now days because there seems to be mayhem in everyone's life.
10 ReplyYes totally. It seems like technology ruined relationship. Although technology has so many benefits such as communication and changes in modern life style, the real deep connection among people are less in value for the sake of the digital world.
00 Reply7.2K opinions shared on Relationships topic. I bet it is really hard to find aa good relationship.
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+1 yEveryone I know in person has or has someone, but me. I have no idea. I just know that I had a very hard time and gave up.
00 Reply1.6K opinions shared on Relationships topic. It’s not harder,
It’s just everyone want to start relationship and try to change their partners.
00 Reply- 3.3K opinions shared on Relationships topic.
+1 yRelationships are easy to find. Good ones are difficult. For me, a great one is borderline impossible.
00 Reply - 3.8K opinions shared on Relationships topic.
+1 yI could easily find someone to date. I just don't want to waste my time dating someone when I know it won't work out in the long term.
00 Reply 603 opinions shared on Relationships topic. Alfas dste alfas
Betas date betas
And everyone dreams of Alfas and hope that their standards would stop.00 Reply50 years ago it was expected you married before sex. now sex is easy to get so one wants to go to the effort of dating
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Anonymous(25-29)+1 yI think many people have high expectations or they search for a perfect one which of course doesn't exist. Lots of people nowadays don't want to put in any effort too.
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+1 y@smahala1991 Considering around 50% of the relationship ending in breakups, it's lot difficult to find relationships.
00 Reply4.1K opinions shared on Relationships topic. I think that for a variety of reasons dating is almost impossible right now.
00 Reply- 512 opinions shared on Relationships topic.
+1 ypeople don't socialise now with the internet taking up 6 hours a day for everyone
00 Reply - 315 opinions shared on Relationships topic.
+1 yI don’t know…. I wasn’t dating fifty years ago.
00 Reply - 1.3K opinions shared on Relationships topic.
+1 yEasier to find these days if you put in the work
00 Reply - 486 opinions shared on Relationships topic.
+1 yno it really is harder
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