No relationship is fair. Everyone in a relationship adjusts to the relationship. I always played video games whenever I got back home. Now, I have to make sure to get milk 2 days and I've got to go to a meeting for couples on a Friday night instead of pub with mates
I don't know if I would call it fair but there needs to be equal effort. Fair sounds like your keeping score and its not good for your relationship if you feel the need to keep score.
Both partners answering “yes” to both of those questions is basically my definition of a “fair” relationship. There’s a difference between an unfair relationship and life being unfair,(as it typically is), while you happen to be in a relationship.
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
7 mo
Yes. It's probably the biggest reason I'm single. I could be dating a woman right now if I was willing to let her treat me like dirt.
Equal treatment. Yes you're right people will have differing views on this that's why communication is oh so important. I see it as an epidemic nowadays that women want lots of attention before they'll give a guy an ounce. Women think guys have changed. And that's true. But the reality is guys have changed because women have changed. Women used to demand effort from guys and that was OK. But there was reward for thier efforts. Now most women today want something and 90% of the time give nothing. And the ones the give something to they will do at the drop of a hat. And I've been on both sides of the coin. I've met women who wouldn't move anything forward but still wanted my constant attention. And I've met women who wanted to sleep with me without so much as even knowing my name. And both are deplorable. I can't respect a woman and don't want anything to do with a woman who won't respect me as well as herself. I don't know if that answers your question.
I would agree with you with adding one more caviat. You also need to be giving to the relationship to the best of your abilities, not just receiving that from your partner and having your needs met.
It's not fair in terms of 50/50 but it should be fair in that both people should be getting what they value which is the reason they are in a relationship.
One person may value something rhar seems miniscule while the other person may value or need many things but this isn't a problem if the first person needs 100% of one thing and they getting it and the other needs of 5 things of equal 20% value.
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Anonymous
(25-29)
7 mo
My parents raised me to be a people pleaser and put other people first. I'm trying to change , which is hard to do, because my personality has only ever drawn abusive people in my life.
No. A healthy relationship has to make you smile, laugh, more than it will ever make you sad or angry. I've learned is that simple. Nothing more to ad to it.
Life is not fair and everything in a relationship is not fair. Relationships means compromise and finding a balance in everything where both can accept their differences and live in harmony.
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No relationship is fair. Everyone in a relationship adjusts to the relationship. I always played video games whenever I got back home. Now, I have to make sure to get milk 2 days and I've got to go to a meeting for couples on a Friday night instead of pub with mates
I don't know if I would call it fair but there needs to be equal effort. Fair sounds like your keeping score and its not good for your relationship if you feel the need to keep score.
if you love each other, both make small sacrifices and both don't expect large sacrifices. if can't, then live separately.
I think the circumstance you describe pretty much says it all , things cannot always be " fair " .
Both partners answering “yes” to both of those questions is basically my definition of a “fair” relationship.
There’s a difference between an unfair relationship and life being unfair,(as it typically is), while you happen to be in a relationship.
Yes. It's probably the biggest reason I'm single. I could be dating a woman right now if I was willing to let her treat me like dirt.
How do you define "fair?"
Equal treatment. Yes you're right people will have differing views on this that's why communication is oh so important.
I see it as an epidemic nowadays that women want lots of attention before they'll give a guy an ounce. Women think guys have changed. And that's true. But the reality is guys have changed because women have changed. Women used to demand effort from guys and that was OK. But there was reward for thier efforts. Now most women today want something and 90% of the time give nothing. And the ones the give something to they will do at the drop of a hat. And I've been on both sides of the coin. I've met women who wouldn't move anything forward but still wanted my constant attention. And I've met women who wanted to sleep with me without so much as even knowing my name. And both are deplorable. I can't respect a woman and don't want anything to do with a woman who won't respect me as well as herself.
I don't know if that answers your question.
I would agree with you with adding one more caviat. You also need to be giving to the relationship to the best of your abilities, not just receiving that from your partner and having your needs met.
It's not fair in terms of 50/50 but it should be fair in that both people should be getting what they value which is the reason they are in a relationship.
One person may value something rhar seems miniscule while the other person may value or need many things but this isn't a problem if the first person needs 100% of one thing and they getting it and the other needs of 5 things of equal 20% value.
My parents raised me to be a people pleaser and put other people first. I'm trying to change , which is hard to do, because my personality has only ever drawn abusive people in my life.
Yes I think both people in a relationship should be fair to each other.
I don't know about fair but healthy and reasonable, yeap!
I've been in relationships, but they never lasted, that's what happens when two mentally disabled people choose to date.
No. A healthy relationship has to make you smile, laugh, more than it will ever make you sad or angry. I've learned is that simple. Nothing more to ad to it.
Been fair or not fair, doesn't apply to all what a relationship is about. What's fair or unfair, is only part of a set of task you agree with someone.
A relationship is NOT a task
I believe it is fair, because relationships are often complimentary... You both have strengths and weaknesses each other can make up for..
Generaly Relationships are never fair unless there's a lot of. accounting going on and that doesn't work.
Life is not fair and everything in a relationship is not fair. Relationships means compromise and finding a balance in everything where both can accept their differences and live in harmony.
I think what is fair n not varies vastly for everyone really
that never have been women always had the upper hand, but it now getting to the point that men are not standing for it and not getting wed.
Yes, of course it should be fair. People's feelings should be respected and no one should be trampled on.
I fair is another word for consideration, then yes. You have to consider the other person in the relationship.