Why was my girlfriend mad at me when she found out about my surprise birthday party?

[Anonymous]

I (30) and my girlfriend (25) are in a long-distance relationship. Her birthday is coming up next month and I want to make a surprise birthday video that compiles my birthday greetings and her close friend's birthday greetings to her. She accidentally found out my secret surprise from one of her close friends. She confronted me and told me to stop planning this whole thing, and by looking at her reaction, she was angry at me. I am baffled by her reaction cause I always knew this was going to be a great surprise for her since it's my first time editing a video for her, so I want it to be a special one for her and I know girls love surprises. Her reaction to it feels like a 180-degree turn of surprise. I am speechless. Can anyone explain or share an opinion on my question about why my girlfriend is mad at me and asked me to put it to a stop when she found out about my surprise plan for her?

[Oliverlogan263]

Dude, girls can be so hard to understand sometimes, ya know? But let me try to make sense of this for ya.

I'm guessing your girl was probably just feeling stressed that her surprise got ruined, you feel me? Like all that planning you did, she wanted to actually be surprised on the day, not find out early.

It's also kinda awkward since the friend wasn't supposed to spill. Now your girl probably thinks they can't be trusted or something. Girls get real weird about that friend drama.

I wouldn't take it too personal, bro. She for sure still thinks it's sweet you want to do something special. But maybe ease up on the gift next time and do something more low-key she won't find out about. Like cook her fav meal or give a massage, chicks love that mushy stuff.

Just be like "hey, sorry the surprise got messed up. I still want you to have an awesome bday tho!" Then you can drop it and let her stress fade. Some chocolates would smooth things over too, haha.

Don't lose hope homie, I'm sure after she cools down she'll see you meant well. Just roll with the punches, ya feel me? You got this!

[madhatters4]

i think this is a question you should ask her.

"you seem angry that i was planning the surprise. I thought it would be fun and special. what's up?"

[Asker]

I did ask her and she got mad. So I stayed passive cause it can lead to a second argument. I will just wish her the simple normal way

[madhatters4]

thanks for MHO.
i think it''s fair to let it slide to avoid an issue and/or another argument. at some point down the line though maybe you can just ask, are surprise parties a complete non-starter? this would just be good for your understanding down the line

[_Maya_]

That is a really tough one to figure out because I think that is a really great idea and super sweet. I would love that if my partner did something similar. So that means I have little clue as to why she would act like that. Maybe she is the type that gets embarrassed by those types of things? I would think that you would have known that though. Honestly that is the only reason I can think of. Nothing else that has popped into my head makes any sense at all. I don't get why anyone would be upset about that.

[boobliker]

we are not alowed to do anything as a surprise

[In_Trance]

You lost me at long distance relationship