Good day.
I'm sorry if I spring this up suddenly. But see, I'm on a relationship with this woman with for 4 years now. Those four years we've been together, a lot of wonderful things happened to me.
But the thing is, the way she is treating me. Always accusing me of things I have never done or ever consider doing, she thinks so very little of my character and my convictions. When we argue she always tells me that she is so happy she chose to not accept my marriage proposal.
See, when we talk she would get mad when I reply immediately because I was busy at work. Or if I disagree with her she'd be so pissed at me she would insult me constantly and tells me how horrible of a man I am. And that despite her giving me everything I give nothing. When I am already giving my all to her, even the time I want for myself I give to her.
She keeps on putting me down, telling me that I am a failure, when she does something wrong and I get mad she will turn it on me and will accuse me a lot of things I have never done, and because her boss is a lawyer and she studied law, she said she will sue me for mental abuse when I have never even rose my voice against her even once, through all our time together.
There is one time where we got into an argument because I disagree when she insulted my eldest brother, she said that the only person who can humiliate me and bully me is her. She wants me to apologize to her by making a video of myself in front of the restaurant I work at while kneeling with my forehead on the floor and shout my apology to her, then send it to her. (I did not do it. I have some dignity left no matter how depress and low on self confidence I am becoming because of her.)
What should I do, I am so tired, emotionally, physically, spiritually. But thing is, she has so many issues and I cannot leave her to suffer it alone, she was abandoned by her father. I do not want to make her feel unwanted, but the pain she's making me suffer.
What should I do?
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
1Opinion
Why have you tolerated this behaviour for 4 years? How are you not miserable? No one should be treating their partner, the person they love, with such horrible behaviour. If I was you I would’ve left her well before the 1 year mark.
I am miserable. I am depressed. Low on self esteem and now I have anxiety. Whenever we talk I feel like she would just suddenly explode for now reason. Whenever I get tired of her antics she have this tendency of telling me that it would normal for me to leave because no one wants her, no one would choose her, she'd get abandoned again. As a person who once loved her dearly, I cannot bring myself to make her suffer in such a manner.
So from what I understand.. she is treating you like garbage, and when you get tired of her being a terrible partner, she guilt trips you and acts like she’s the victim so that you’ll stay? Wow! You need to leave her. That is emotionally abusive.
My friends said that she is manipulative and narcissistic. I closed my ears to those kind of comments, but I knew what they are telling me about her is true. Just a few hours ago, she saw a trending picture of this guy and girl and sent it to me, and told me that the reason the guy in the image put so much effort for the girl is because she's pretty. And that it is a privilege, and I told her that it isn't always the case. She snapped at me and now is claiming that I do not understand her. Right now I feel like I am dating a child. Jesus Christ.
She is definitely manipulative, and I can understand why you’d feel as if you’re dating a child - she definitely lacks the emotional maturity needed for a stable relationship. If you don’t end the relationship then the way you’re being treated is just going to continue, abusive people don’t change.
It isn’t easy to hear your friends tell you that your partner is manipulative or narcissistic but you do need to listen. Sometimes our friends and family see things in our partners that we ourselves do not see because love is blinding us.
At first, I could handle all of her quirks. But now I am too emotionally wrecked by her. One wrong thing and she would snap, every time I talk to her I feel like I am walking on a landmine, if I don't laugh at her jokes or ignore her childish questions, she would snap at me. She even wants me to push away the people I am closed to, even pushing my own family away from me.
That’s typical abusive behaviour. You need to leave her.
4 years. It's such a waste. We've spent 4 years together, just like that.
I know how you feel. But try not to think of it as a waste. You would’ve learnt a lot in this relationship and gained life experience, aswell as relationship experience. Which will contribute to your future relationship/s. Now you know what kind of behaviours to watch out for in a partner, aswell as what kind of person you wouldn’t want to date again.
Yeah, you are completely right. She blocked me again and wanted me pursue her through any means I can. I'm so done. My emotional and mental strenght cannot handle her anymore.
This!!!:
"It isn’t easy to hear your friends tell you that your partner is manipulative or narcissistic but you do need to listen. Sometimes our friends and family see things in our partners that we ourselves do not see because love is blinding us."
Meant to reply to @petitedollbabee