Could I attempt friendship with an ex?

[Cmoreins]

I dated someone two years ago, he broke up with me, and it was messy on my end. I got over it about 8 months later and had neutral thoughts about it. It's been two years and recently something horrific happened with his family. I sent an email with words of empathy, care, and concern, not expecting a response because it was for him from a place of care.

He responded saying it was mature of me to reach out (not that I wasn't mature before but this showed maturity) and appreciated my kind words. He shared vulnerabily some things and thanked me again. I responded to him, asking about his sister and ended it with "take care." The tone came across as the end of the conversation, so he responded once more answering me and thanking me again for being kind and also ended with a tone of ending the conversation. I didn't respond and it's been a few days now.

We had a long-distance relationship in different states, so friendship in person wouldn't be applicable. But do you think it could be possible or that he could be open to it? Or if there's any point to it.

On the other hand, I don't know if I would come across any particular way if I reached out again. He seemed open to having a longer email exchange, but I kept it short because I didn't want to take away my initial reason for contacting him. It was about him, not trying to shift it to anything else.

[kylee2437]

I think a bigger issue is you aren’t ready to close that door after 2 years. Any male that really agrees to be your friend after stuff like this is doing it to get his foot back in the door in possibly dating you

[bowenw]

I get the impression the two of you could be friends. You have nothing to lose by trying.

[Cmoreins]

He was pretty open sharing his vulnerabilities and sharing appreciation for me reaching out. I think we're both neutral. I did send one more response opening the door for support and friendship. Even if he declines or doesn't respond, I'm not feeling negative emotions or have negative thoughts. Sometimes it works out for exes to be friends or at least amicable and sometimes it doesn't.

[bowenw]

That's a good plan. I hope he replies and the two of you can be friends.

[Cmoreins]

Thanks! I know you dont know him, but how likely do you think he'd be OK with that? Is that something you would do personally?

[bowenw]

I'm friends with a couple of exes where things didn't end badly. We rarely see each other but exchange messages occasionally. It seems like your ex trusts you and values you, so my guess is he will want to be friends.

[Cmoreins]

That's awesome you're friends with a couple of your exes. It does show growth to be able to reconnect like that. Yeaaah, I know he thought highly of me and valued my opinion on everything. But we'll see. Thank your for your insight and encouragement.

[bowenw]

I hope I am reading him correctly. Let me know how it goes.

[Cmoreins]

If not, it's no big deal. I value him as a person, too, and will always care, but I don't care enough to be devastated or feel rejection if he decides friendship isn't a good idea for him. That would be on him and I'd respect that. I'll update you when/if he does respond.

[bowenw]

Thank you and best of luck.

[Cmoreins]

Well, he sent a quick response. He said he has support and appreciated the thought. So, that was a no thanks.

[bowenw]

At least he didn't leave you hanging. Thanks for the update.

[bowenw]

Thank you for the MHO. 😊

[sheikalana]

Not a good idea in my opinion.

[Nirmroth]

You can try why not

[Cmoreins]

I ended up sending one more email opening the door for it. I'm feeling neutral about it, which is pretty good.

[Nirmroth]

Thats nice, seems like you're really ready for friendship again

[Cmoreins]

He responded and indirectly said no. Said "appreciate the thought"

It's nice if exes can be friends, and it doesn't always work out like that.

[riverrat3]

Always