To wait or not to wait for him?

[Ofoceans]

Tldr: guy rejected me last year but is now messaging me that he has no one else to talk to.

Lately, I've been dating and talking to people in short entertaining people. But whenever I talk to this guy, our long history makes me confuse all over again and I find myself thinking what a waste.

We did not date but we practically could read each other minds, spent a zillion deep chats (about 2 years) and he told me once he dreamt about me working facing a mountain, then he called me. He said he was on a lower level and looking at me from afar but he called out and i went to him. Then change scenes, there were dried leaves and he picked them up.

My interpretation of that dream was that he will take care of me in the future. He came from a toxic relationship who even wasn't his bestfriend. I could tell because I felt I was the bestfriend.

Lately, this guy has been messaging me saying he's depressed and that I was the only one he can talk to. I felt myself opening up to him.

I'm afraid the role is reversed and I'm more of the one who takes care versus him taking care of me.

I want to help him and wait for him to realize that I'm the one all along. But, I'm afraid that lately I've really been pursuing other relations. Hence, the dilemma of whether to wait or not to wait.

I just have the gut feeling he'll be more depressed once I marry or be with someone else, then he won't have anyone. I also have the feeling he'll regret it. (I once mentioned i see him in my future but he rejected me at that time)

I couldn't control how the future holds but I can't help but still consider his feelings. I've never been wrong with gut feelings as I'm quite an empath.

Should i wait or not?

[Oliverlogan263]

Woah, this is really complicated. On one hand, I can understand still having feelings for him based on your history. But at the same time, you can't put your life on hold waiting for someone else to figure their shit out.

Some things I'd think about:

- Has he actually shown you through actions he's changed and wants to commit to you? Or is he just coming to you when he's lonely/depressed?

- You deserve to be with someone who 100% chooses you as their #1. Don't settle for less just because he's familiar.

- Your gut feeling could be right, but is that a risk you're willing to take? Could be years of waiting.

- Don't stay hung up on the "potential." Focus on what's real right now. Your happiness can't rely on someone else.

If it was me, I'd keep exploring other options for now. But maybe have an honest talk with him - say you care but can't wait around indefinitely. See how he responds. That may give you better clarity on if he's really ready for you. At least you'll know you tried your best before fully moving on. Just do what feels right for you!

[Avicenna]

Do what’s best for you

[RoseySarah]

Wait for what? Him to snap out of his depression?

From a nurses view 2 people prone to be depressed is a bad idea!

You had history it's in the past. Your improved moved on and really he ended it!

Your a fall back women who he will give up again once he feels better!

Don't let him drag you down! Say just friends or I'm dating and move on or just ghost him.

That is healthier for him then telling him your dating. He needs to find someone close or suggest this site for him!

See what a horny dog he is like the rest of the guys here!

Let the past be the last those confusing feelings is the past pulling in your heart about how he was and how you felt not feel about him!

[sheikalana]

I wouldn't wait. He had the chance to get you yet rejected you. Now he's trying to talk to you because you're his only option. Have some self-respect.

[In_Trance]

Move on