A traditional woman used to pride herself on serving her husband. Something that most men place great interest and satisfaction in.
While many modern women claim to be completely independent and do not require a man; a man’s happiness is largely based in being a provider and being appreciated for his efforts. If a woman has no need for him and does not bestow gratification upon him for his labours, what benefit should a self sufficient man hope to gain through an unnecessary relationship?
Most Men are fully capable of providing themselves with every personal desire and need. Besides sex and children, the independent feminist woman offers no personal gain to us. While we are content with our own capabilities and provisions, we have little satisfaction to gain by risking our lives and estates for an ungrateful female companion.
While I applaud social changes that allow women to succeed on their own and be independent, I merely state the possible cause of many modern women’s loneliness and isolation from successful capable husbands.
Summarily, we are mostly unnecessary and unappreciated, hence have little to gain and much to risk. At the end of my third marriage, I look at the incredible cost of giving away the fruits of my many conquests and labours over the years and ask myself if it was worth it? Aside from the knowledge gained and experience, I conclude negatively.
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Have most women forgotten how to please a man? Is feminism to blame for women’s unhappiness and inability to sustain men’s interest in them?
In your specific scenario, yes. I’ve heard a lot of men talking about how they are expected to do everything and it’s never good enough. They live with pampered brats who expect everything and give nothing in return.
But, in my personal experience, every single one of my unhappy girl friends complain that their husband gives little to no effort emotionally in the relationship. All they want is to have a closeness to their husbands by sharing interests and spending time together. To be appreciated and have household and childcare duties outside of work equalized. Their husbands work, bring in the money, think their job is done and go hide out in their gaming room or the gym. Some of their husbands actually express that they don’t want to be the financial provider at all, and some have actually opted to buy the stay at home parent, but don’t take on all the responsibilities that their wives did when they were the ones staying home. Their wives are working to contribute financially, do all the child rearing, all the house and yard work, all the planning and scheduling, and receiving no emotional payment from them. Is feminism to blame for this? Maybe. Women wanted all the control. Now they have too much responsibility to handle. Maybe men feel emasculated by it and have little confidence that putting in effort will make a difference? But, how much have men throughout history provided the emotional support that women actual need in a relationship? Hasn’t it always been the norm for men to work and then get the rest of the day to themselves/hang out with the guys?
The happiest marriages I’ve seen are ones where the responsibilities are balanced and both people put effort into each others interests.
I don’t think feminism is the cause of women being unable to be happy in a relationship. I think lack of communication and compromise mixed with unrealistic expectations on both sides is the cause.
"Hasn’t it always been the norm for men to work and then get the rest of the day to themselves/hang out with the guys?"
Not at all.. Plenty of men work 12 hours a day and still came home and did what their wives asked them. This angelicizing of women just wanting a "helpful and emotional" partner definitely never helped things.. Usually it's nagging and yelling..
I’ve worked multiple jobs my whole life and then came home to cook and clean and get yelled at. My average easy day is 12+ hours. Even after 16+ hours I still cooked and cleaned.
Sorry @Joshydavid25, what I meant and should have said was “throughout history?” Recent generations excluded (as in the past 30 years), I know how hard some men work, and are expected to keep working when they get home. @Charliefretz329 I get why you don’t see the benefit. But, trust me when I say that it’s not just one gender. Plenty of women have been through what you have. It sucks. More of the hard working and appreciative people need to find each other for sure. But, you know… being single isn’t the end of the world either.
I completely agree! Seems like we all tend to match up with improper mates. But maybe because hard working people have so little time left to seek our special partners out. I’m just sore on the potential downsides.
I tapped the disagreed tab. I don't know a specific definition of feminism, but I think when individuals take on a relationship, sometimes they forget to look at their own trajectory, and what they are seeking. This is something we've had to confront in our marriage, as I certainly have a wife who does not need me financially whatsoever. I don't need her financially either so we just make the best of our financial situation. We have lost track (from time to time) of what initially brought us together before either of us would be even considered successful. I cannot relate to the husbands who have wives that are financially dependent on them, or to husbands who are financially dependent on their husbands either. The single life is likely simpler than married life, and it's terrifically important for a couples to realize this before they dive into marriage.
If companionship is desired, it's important that all parties involved realize their own value, how to compromise, and that making each other happy does not come from financial support, because we all need to be desired for more than what we bring to the table financially.
Civilization is built upon providing sexual access for beta males, without which they have no incentive to contribute to it. In the past this was done through socially-enforced monogamy and this worked well enough to lead us out of the dark ages to our comfortable modern age. Then feminism happened and women got the insane idea that they don't need men, even though every modern convenience they enjoy is built and maintained by men.
They now believe they are all queens or goddesses and those yucky working men are beneath them. Now we are reverting back go the caveman days where a small number alpha males share the majority of the women while most men die virgins. Why would a man want to contribute to a society like that if it would have him die a virgin?
The incels doing mass shootings are just a very loud first wave, shit will really hit the fan when men stop showing up to jobs that don't pay well but are needed for society to function because women think guys who do those jobs aren't good enough for them.
Real feminism is not misandry; it's a battle for things like legal equality, legal equity, non-gender discrimination. Like anything else, a good thing will get hijacked by a variety of forces who pervert it. Blaming feminism as a theory for your premise is letting the tail wag the dog at best, and at worst, a massive over-simplification of what's happening socially in certain cultures.
Naturally, no man wants to amass a material fortune and/or a family only to see it taken away by a divorce. Statistics prove that 70% of all divorces are indeed initiated by women, but you don't hear much talk about why or how it got to be that way. I think that's where the discussion should be.
Instead, extremists just want the easy solution, which is take away women's chances and means for independence and put them BACK into relying on men for support. The first step was to take bodily autonomy away from women, as many red states have done. The next is to eliminate certain divorce criteria, which some red states have done. Neither of those is a good solution to promoting or keeping marriages together.
I don’t think women should lose power, but instead should realize how to treat a man in the way that will attract him. In the past they had no choice l🤐
So what you're saying is you miss the past when they HAD no choice and were FORCED to treat a man in a way that would make him desire her, since she needed that as a means to live? That's what I hear. Nowadays, a woman doesn't HAVE to learn or "realize" how to treat a man a certain way IF she doesn't care to. She can go her own way just like any man can and support herself. It all depends on her choices, doesn't it?
"Real feminism is not misandry" - but most women disagree with you which is why they're ashamed to be called feminists today. It's like saying "Real islamic terrorists don't behead infidels". It's meaningless in the face of the factual fruits of feminist ideology and the leaders of feminism.
@hahahmm Huh? No it isn't. Just because the "term" feminism has become associated with misandry among certain groups doesn't mean it's accurately defined. The only reason I even inserted the word "real" was to make a point. What I should simply say is "feminism is not misandry".
In the same way, a certain group of politicos started using the terms "fake facts vs real facts". There's no such as the former and adding the word real to the latter is unnecessary. Something is either factual or it's not. Feminism has a specific definition, no matter it gets misused or hijacked. Oh, and Islamic terrorists DO behead infidels", but you can go argue with them as to whether that's a requirement for being a "real" Islamic terrorist. :-D
i don´t think the problem is feminism. I think it´s deeper than it´s also the sexual revolution and development of technology. The development of technology has led to a reduce of value anything that a trad housewife has done by hand in the past. There a vacuum cleaners now that go on their own through the house, washing machines, dish washers and all the rest make the jobs a housewife did in terms of cleaning in the past unnecessary. I think the problem of social dynamics is the development of extreme individualism and personal freedom. Nowadays nobody wants to do something that doesn´t benefit themselves. The proverb is now: What can other people do for me before I do something for them. That´s why in my opinion people are so keen on get to know what guys/women put to the table making a relationship it´s a calculation table. I think both men and women are the problem and though I´m not at all a feminist I don´t think the solution would be getting rid of feminism.
Feminism has taught generations of women to try and be MEN, to rebel against their natural, domestic and paternal instincts and to be men and compete head to head with men and to believe having grueling, stressful, hectic jobs will give them joy, contentment and peace and that being a virtuous wife, mom, family before her job person is oppression and that sex within marriage is oppression and that being naked on the beach, club, Instagram, Onlyfans, drunks, sex objects, casual sex in your early 20s and then settling for a husband much later after you are ran through is liberation and leads to happiness.
Let them reap the consequences of their own actions. Don't feel sorry for any of them if any of these choices bring them misery and feeling used and hollow.
You reap what you sow.
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Anonymous
(36-45)
5 mo
Most people younger than 40 were never taught how to be a good spouse, This is at issue regardless of gender. Both men and women have zero clue what it takes to maintain a home, a family, and a marriage.. You can thank the plague of single motherhood for that and hookup culture, As well as Feminism and MGTOW.
Not a single male I know either a sibling or longtime friend is still together with a past marriage partner. Some up to 4 and with children. The only people that I know who are still married are the drug addicts and alcoholics who barely survive. I don't have an explanation as to why this is true. If they are successful the marriage is over. If they are lower than average they do not separate.
Wife response: most women have not. A lot of western women most definitely have. I am from Eastern Europe and learning how to please, take care of and respect a man is a big part of our culture. It goes both ways as well men are taught how to please, cherish, honor, and respect women. My husband despite being from America was raised with similar values
Mainly the majority of women don't know how to be fair to men. They contribute much less to a relationship than many men do, yet they still complain. They also seek out drama and problems. If things go well for too long, she will likely get bored and do something that forever damages the relationship just for excitement.
I don't think women being bitches is a result of feminism. It just comes naturally to some. I don't even want to stop women having a career as long as they can work from home and still look after the kiddies.
I disagree. Feminism is feminism, you choose to listen to it or not. My parents fought all time so through that I figured out what probably not to do if I ever got a boyfriend.
i felt that way and i get grief from men for wanting to give what i thought they wanted
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Anonymous
(25-29)
5 mo
Feminism really isn't that popular. Now there's lots of media dedicated to making feminism look as ridiculous and anti-men/anti-family as possible. Just look at all of the feminist, "girl power" movies that flop everytime because men don't like it, and most women don't want to watch it either. They don't understand that feminsm is only popular with the lould crazy majority on the internet, normal people (men and women) are tired of feminsm.
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Anonymous
(25-29)
5 mo
Agree. Most women today either have no idea when men actually care about in women, or just don't care. It's the rare woman anymore who brings any value to a man's life beyond sex and reproduction.
I’m definitely hanging out with the wrong women. I agree. I don’t claim that good women don’t exist. But only that they are rare enough I can’t find em easy
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