Hello all and thank you for taking the time out to read my Question….
been dating my boyfriend for 6years, we have a 5 y/o and he has a 11 y/o with his ex.
Yesterday he was awarded full custody of his oldest daughter, and now she is living with us. I’m having a lot of trouble with this, because there is a big history of her miss treating me and my 5 y/o. She looks at my daughter like she wants to kill her. She has been very physical with her, pushing her off of the slide, kicking her in the face, etc..
(the reason why he got full custody is because he found that she had a tablet with porn nude pictures of herself and saying that she wants to kill her self because she feels like her mom does not care about her and her mom hit her before and her mom gets beat by her boyfriend)
Question is: now I’m in a position where I have to be a full-time caretaker of her and my little one. I was never okay with this I truly feel like she isn’t a good influence on my little one. She pays dolls with her with violence. My daughter somehow I always end up hurt and complains that the 11 year old pushes her. Truthfully, I do not want to raise her. I have a lot on my plate just open up a business and have struggles raising my five year old because I do mostly everything for her while my husband works 12 hours a day so I don’t get help at home from him with her now adding his 11y/o who clearly is t okay …
am I wrong for wanting to leave?
I feel like an outsider in my own home. I don’t want to be there. I feel like a slave to another women’s child n no help with mine. Plus he has not ask me to marry after 6years cus his daughter doesn’t like me.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
1Opinion
When you chose to be with that man, he has that child. You were aware of it. That child is part of him, his seeds. He cares for his child, and he fought and gain her full custody.
Change your perspective, look at it in everyone’s eyes. Everyone. Now you’re gonna add to his problem by leaving, and probably request child support too.
I wonder if you were to care for that child wellbeing’s, and step up, would you be considered her benefactor in her future.
Honestly, if I was him, and I knew you felt like that. I would make it easy for you to leave. You’re either a problem or a solution, that decision is yours!
I'm sorry for your situation.
I am willing to bet that both of you came from broken families. The fight to keep families whole is never easy. If you choose to fight brace yourself for a long and painful emotional birth. That 11 year old came from a broken mother, and the road to replacing her will be full of hard times. But to even be in that position you have to work through your own trauma and your history with her.
Connecting with her by taking note of her interestscabd encouraging redirection of her energies. Also helping her identify her emotiond may help.
There are experts more eloquent than I on this matter.