Why do some people need constant reassurance in relationships?

Question

bjork · Accepted Answer

You know, needing constant reassurance in relationships is actually pretty common, and there are a bunch of reasons why it happens. Let me break it down for you in a way that's easy to relate to.

This is a biggie. Imagine you're in a relationship but always worrying about how you measure up, or if you're good enough for your partner. That kind of self-doubt can really make someone crave reassurance, like they need to hear they're loved or valued just to keep those nagging doubts at bay.

If someone’s been burned in previous relationships, maybe they were cheated on or felt neglected, they might be on high alert in their current relationship. It's like their past is whispering in their ear, making them doubt things even when everything is actually fine. So, they seek reassurance as a way to quiet those past ghosts.

Communication styles play a role too. Some folks just need more verbal affirmation than others. It's like their love language, you know? If they're not getting those affirming words regularly, they might feel unloved or anxious.

For some, anxiety or certain mental health issues can crank up the need for reassurance. Their mind can be like a hamster on a wheel, constantly needing that positive feedback to counteract the negative thoughts they might be struggling with.

So, when you mix all these factors together, it’s kind of like a cocktail that leads to needing more reassurance in relationships. It's not necessarily a bad thing, but it's important for both partners to understand where it's coming from. Communication, as always, is key. It's about finding that balance where both partners feel secure and valued without feeling overwhelmed.

Some need more water than others, but too much can drown them. Relationships are similar – they need the right amount of reassurance to thrive. 🌱

plant, right? Some need more water than others, but too much can drown them. Relationships are similar – they need the right amount of reassurance to thrive. 🌱

sage2021 · Accepted Answer

What if the woman does get the constant reassurance and the guy is constantly saying he loves her, buys her a dozen beautiful yellow roses and had the florist deliver them. He was constantly showing her affection and she was doing everything she could in return. Then one day he sees a new lady said in our apartment building and starts treating the one he promised love then turns on her and starts being her mean, which he has never done, and in just a matter of weeks he's gone out of her life forever?
That is what happened to me. Because of his past cheating history I always found what he was saying not to be true and to keep my right guard up, so I would hear his promises to never leave me, and the first woman he's attracted to - he's gone! Bastard!

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

because they don't feel confident in themselves. You must love yourself before you can love someone else. These people are not confident enough that they can hold onto a partner, so they constantly need reassurance that their partner is still there. Much of this has to do with some sort of emotional abandonment in childhood. Their parents didn't prioritize them enough when they were kids so now , they are looking for someone to prioritize them in adulthood. Things that your parents didn't give you when you were a baby, you will try to seek it elsewhere as adults.

DaveJord · Accepted Answer

So for me, it all depends on how insecure I am with the relationship. Sometimes you just get these gut feelings about a person, and then you start over thinking some things. Like what did she really mean when she said this thing, but then turns around and does this other thing? Like what does that mean, because both can not be true... if she says she loves me, but then blows me off all the time... well then, she can't really mean what she is saying?

I am not an insecure person, but it makes me feel insecure with this person. So, in my mind, if she is doing all the right things, that all the reassurance I need no questioned asked. But if she is not doing all the right things, then yes you become more insecure and there for need more reassurance.

Now for me at my age, 47, it took me well over 20 years or more to learn... that I do not need a damn thing from a woman. If it doesn't feel right to me, there is nothing she can say... I have all the reassurance I need and more without her. But that takes a person that has standards, who set boundaries, and then has enough self-respect to stand by their standards and enforce their boundaries. Because life without this person is better than with them, if this how they want to act and treat me.

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

Because they have insecurity issues , they probably had their heart shit on before or been cheated on before , so they want to make sure their partner isn’t going to do those things to them , Sadlynon today’s world , cheating and backstabbing and lying occurs more than we like to think

HappyWoman34 · Answer

In my case, I have a mild case of dependant personality disorder, so I don’t feel comfortable on my own, without someone to advise me on everything and keep me company. I was told about it but everyone refused to formally diagnose me, because it’s not causing enough problems.

red324 · Answer

When they constantly leave you for an unknown reason or without ever gving a reason, you kind of prepare yourself for it happening again. It's kind of in the back of your mind at all times, like I know she said she'll see me on Thursday, but do you think today may be the last time you ever see her?

ArrowheadSW · Answer

Some people have more of a need for reassurance than others. Some might even have an extreme fear of abandonment.

friendofthefallen · Answer

Depends on what you mean by reassurance and the degree of it.

MrCommodore · Answer

Low confidence or low self-esteem maybe, some people are just super clingy.

exitseven · Answer

They are insecure, maybe they have been burned before.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Because so many people are playing games with each other.

BLP11520 · Answer

Probably because they have been dumped or taken for granted

Lyndsielee666 · Answer

Because I have bpd lmfao

Chandelier8 · Answer

Like about their penis size? 😂

DannyUk2017 · Answer

Why do Women need constant Validation? 🤔🤷‍♂️

haana · Answer

because child inside them demands validation

Anonymous · Answer

That is just rampant insecurity.

AnusNdaPainus · Answer

Shitty parents.

Sparkie460 · Answer

They usually have low self esteem.

clubboss · Answer

This is a common problem mostly with women.

Anonymous · Answer

Low self esteem is a cause of that happening.

jahaims · Answer

They are insecure

Guido · Answer

They are insecure.

PinkSmoke · Answer

Insecurities

Why do some people need constant reassurance in relationships?

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