I'm not the race my boyfriend likes?

[Anonymous]

im just an average turkish woman living in the norway, i have blue&mongolid eyes, dark brown wavy hair, too pale skin and thick eyelashes. I never asked what race or appearance he liked, but I tried to become what he liked most about me. He is an Arab, lately I felt like he was insulting me because I am Turk and I started to think that he really has a fetish for Latin women. He wants me to tan my skin and straighten my hair every day and somethings like this. He's been behaving like this for about a month and I feel like I'm alienated from him. Because of my traditions, I have always been very motherly and I have even stayed home for weeks to take care of him. I don't expect anything in return. At every opportunity, he tells me for hours that if he didn't love me, he would be in a relationship with a Latina. I don't care what race he likes and I'm not jealous of that, everyone has their own taste. But no one should tell their girlfriend "they are more beautiful than you and I hate your race". How can I tell him that I'm uncomfortable with this without offending him? and soo sorry for my bad English

[Lurix]

It sounds like you’re in a very difficult and painful situation with your boyfriend. You deserve to be loved and respected for who you are, not for what he wants you to be. You should not have to change your appearance or your identity to please him or anyone else. You are beautiful and valuable just the way you are.

Your boyfriend’s behavior is very hurtful and disrespectful. He is not only insulting you, but also your culture and your race. He is also making you feel insecure and inadequate by comparing you to other women and telling you that he would prefer them over you. This is not how a loving partner should treat you. This is a form of emotional abuse and manipulation

You have every right to tell him that you’re uncomfortable with his fetish for Latin women and his comments about your race. You don’t have to worry about offending him, because he is the one who is offending you. You need to stand up for yourself and your dignity. You need to set clear boundaries and expectations for your relationship, and demand that he respects them

You can try to have an honest and calm conversation with him, and tell him how his words and actions make you feel. You can use “I” statements, such as “I feel hurt when you tell me that you would rather be with a Latina than me” or “I feel uncomfortable when you ask me to tan my skin and straighten my hair”. You can also ask him why he has this fetish and why he thinks it’s okay to say these things to you. You can also tell him what you need and want from him, such as “I need you to stop comparing me to other women and appreciate me for who I am” or “I want you to love me and respect me as a Turkish woman”.

However, if he doesn’t listen to you, or if he gets angry or defensive, or if he continues to treat you poorly, then you may have to reconsider your relationship with him. You deserve to be with someone who loves you and respects you unconditionally, not someone who makes you feel bad about yourself or your race. You deserve to be happy and fulfilled, not unhappy and frustrated. You deserve better than that.

I hope this helps, and I wish you all the best. Remember, you’re awesome and you deserve to be happy. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad or doubt yourself. You have a lot to offer, and I’m sure you’ll find someone who appreciates you for who you are.

[CozyCoffin]

It's one thing if he mentioned a preference but was with you. From the headline I was going to say something different. In this case, He's treating you like garbage. I recommend leaving him, he's just going to get worse.

[DreamCrescent]

he sounds mean and selfish, girlie. i hope you make the right decision for you but i wouldn’t tolerate that treatment


also, you’re English is just fine

[Nikki1989]

Dump him and move on ASAP.

[meh51]

Why the fuck are you with him then?

[Asker]

Everything was fine until 1 month ago i dont think I love him anymore anyway

[Squatting_Slav]

What a douchebag lol you should leave

[OfDeath]

Have him bumped off and find someone else

[Staximus]

Just get rid of that bastard already

[RebelisAlwaysHere]

he is right he doesn't like primitive woman

[Asker]

he is more primitive than me lol

[RebelisAlwaysHere]

you have same nation turk equal arab