And I think marriage has been underthreat since the 60's up.
Nothing wrong with it my opinion. There's good and bad about it, like it shows your true commitment to someone. Never anything wrong with that! People these days have become TOO SELFISH and SELF SERVING to think about anyone but themselves. When the going gets tough, they look for the first door out. Hate to tell it but life ain't always peaches and cream. There will be GOOD days and bad. There will be CANCER, there will be a MISCARRIAGE, there will be a son or daughter that dies before their time through a car accident or illness, etc. There will be TEMPATION to CHEAT on your lover or spouse, and there will not be a chance to get caught, only your subconscious and your love and commitment to your spouse will be what stops you. There will also be holding your girlfriend and then later on your fiance's hand and knowing you've got each other's back and can tackle the world's problems together. You will be HOLDING her hand during labor when she gives birth to what may be your only son or daughter. They will have your looks as well as your partner's looks (or that of your ancestors and hers). You can buy a house together and raise your children together and when you hit middle age, you can retire around the same time and go on vacations together like my parents did many times over. Yeah, maybe, if unlucky, one of you guy's pass away before the other, but in that sense, at least you know that you were kind and loving and committed to your spouse before they went. You can date again in due time after many months/years of grief but you will also be thankful that you have loved and WERE loved that deeply.
I'm not married by the way. But come on, it IS selfish to only think of yourself and no one else. I know you and other people have that right, but I still call it what it is.
"Explain why you believe people are more selfish?" What are you not getting about the idea that marriage is a commitment? Lol. If you are COMMITTED to something, you will try to make it work regardless of how difficult it is usually. If you are single and have no body to tend to but yourself, that's A LOT easier and a lot less responsiblity than providing for yourself (and maybe your spouse if they're out of a job), as well as any dependent children you have. I know it's also "selfish" to have children that share in your genetics but still, that's beside my point. If you can stave off responsibility, then..
"If people since the 60s have been rejecting marriage there might be a reason for it" They have NOT been rejecting marriage. I never said that. I think the downfall of marriage correlated with things becoming more expensive. Now you have to have TWO incomes instead of one in order to barely raise a family. It didn't use to be that way. People in the 60's wanted more rights for women. I think women's sufferage (their right to vote or enter into legal contracts) started before that, but I'd have to do more research... or you can. ...
.."If I can’t or won’t be satisfied with having sex with one person what’s wrong with that?" I've also had sex with multiple people, especially in my younger years. But I realized that as I got older, my priorities in life changed. I didn't just want to have one night stands and see you later or fuck buddies. I wanted something STABLE. I learned that sexual variety isn't the be all, end all and that's the FASTEST way to spread stds/stis or have an accidental pregnancy. I actually wanted to experience a stable form of love and companionship. I wanted to also experience the traditional rites of passage that most people, including my parents passed through. I wanted to have the title of WIFE and if I loved the guy, I wanted him to also be proud of the title of being my husband! I also wanted to bear his children, which in turn would also be MY children that I'd be proud of and raise them in the suburbs just like I was raised.
"Do you feel that a man owes a woman his resources in exchange of sex?" No I do not. That sounds more like a prostitute to me, than a girlfriend or wife.
"Is that what you mean when you say men today are selfish?" Again no lol. What is your IQ level? Lol. Reading comprehension level.
because some peoples whole personality is the fact that they're married and are a husband or a wife. so they take it as a personal insult. it's ridiculous i know
I can see that. Historically a woman might not have many other options but to be a wife. So criticizing marriage is in fact challenging someone’s entire identity.
I find the idea of a symbolic transfer of ownership from a father to a husband reprehensible in the 21st century.
Despite liking marriage, as I see it as a declaration that the person is expressing absolute commitment, I also don't have anything against people that don't like it. I've seen people get married, just to reveal that they were having an affair the whole time or break it as soon as they get married as if the person didn't mean anything at all. I've also seen people be together for their lifetime without it.
Besides the benefits provided by certain laws depending on government, I don't see why they should get married besides personal beliefs. Granted, many things that I presented are beliefs of mine and thus is preaching. Rather than do what they can to make problems go away, such as working with their partner, they just go for someone that's more than willing to destroy what another has made. It isn't that person's job to "provide comfort" - they should get their own partner or fuck buddy.
The problem with belief systems people think everyone should be like them - and to some extension, myself. I don't think going outside of a relationship is right, even separation still falls underneath that. I think people should end it. Take religion for instance. Many people have the doctrine that someone should follow my ways or be eternally damned. They also preach to them constantly about their sins, despite themselves going against it, except for going to church.
When I hear people criticize marriage, at the end of their diatribe, it seems that the unspoken conclusion is that I certainly must be stupid to have gotten married.
If marriage is not for you, that's fine. I have no interest in trying to convince people to do something they don't want to do. But that doesn't mean marriage is bad for everyone else.
I think liver is disgusting, but if I see someone else eating liver, I don't need to tell them how awful liver is. Why do you need to tell people how awful marriage is? Do you need validation for your opinions?
Well if someone believes in marriage and the happiness it can give them and you speak negatively about it, obviously conflict will arise. I believe most people like the idea of having a partner that's bound to them. Someone who is not going to leave you for anything. For better or worse, through thick and thin. Obviously marriage doesn't necessarily mean that, especially nowadays where divorce rates are high, but it's symbolic of that desired relationship that people want. It's also nice to have a symbolic piece (a ring) that shows you're bound to someone else and celebrate the bonding of you 2 in a wedding ceremony.
So who are you to shit on other people's fantasy. Even I myself I want to get married and wouldn't get offended if you criticize it, but would definitely question your way of thinking.
Right so people get into it more for security purposes. I wonder why if people claim they love each other do they need a binding lifetime contract? I get that children are often the result, but bound to someone almost sounds like ownership
It's probably just a few women on here that are bitter about guys not wanting to get screwed if it ends badly, like it's often said to happen.
One idiot even called us 'disgusting' for complaining about losing our assets, because it's the least they we can do for being a POS husband, because women sacrifice more'.
Notice how I'm only talking about a few women on here and not trying to generalise, unlike some of the sexist clowns on here, like this:
clueless. I got married early in life, it didn't work out so I moved on and just had fun. Getting married was just something that I never worried about. I enjoyed being single, being able to come and go as I pleased, travel, buy what I wanted. I also never had the dad gene in me, I just never had the desire to be a dad. A few years ago I did get married again, both our second one and I am happy. SO why others get their undies in a bundle about it is beyond me. Maybe because the way you present it makes them feel threatened, and argumentative. Maybe just say marriage isn't for me and let it go at that. Doing that might cut back on the drama, unless you enjoy a spirted discussion about the subject.
Everyone has a different definition of criticism. If you told me I was a fucking idiot for getting married, I'd probably be a little annoyed or angry. If you lay a blanket complement down that says you don't agree with marriage or don't want to get marriage and critique the general population of married individuals I'm really not going to care.
If you want to get married and you convince someone it’s a good idea, you go right ahead with that. I just wonder why such a antiquated concept of property exchange has not been abandoned
Family traditions, the legal system, and perhaps the mental investment in the idea that when you get married, it is for life. We celebrate 20 years in April. We know plenty of people who have been divorced, and we know plenty of people who have never gotten married, who are happy with their partner.
Here in Japan we lack the concept of alimony/spousal support. I've been called a simp before on this site for simply being married with people warning me that I can lose half my assets if my wife were to divorce, but that's not a risk here in Japan. Also the primary reason we marry here in Japan is to have children. It still seems the ideal way to raise children when a child's parents are committed in marriage. We consider it extremely irresponsible here in Japan to have children outside of wedlock.
Because , just like Santa Claus and the Tooth fairy , its a lovely but utterly unrealistic ideal , they just love the idea , then they do it and say " Fck , I didn't sign up for this did I " with their lives in the deep , dark , crevasse of despair.
Yet here you are sharing your anti-marriage views in the form of a confrontational question and then getting butt hurt when people disagree in response. I mean, you're the one who put the question out there. You're not a victim.
If people who defend marriage upset you, why do you instigate arguments?
If you don't like marriage, why don't you just not get married? Why do you have to go on a campaign?
It may be more of a country / society thing. I have never had any hassle for saying marriage is not for everyone. Plenty people live with their partner in exactly the same way they would without a church wedding. The main thing is being committed to the same partner in a loving relationship, does not matter squat if they get married in church, registry office or don’t bother at all.
Despite divorce rates being on the rise, there are so many couples who are happy with their situation. Just because I don't want to marry, it doesn't mean that I am opposed to marriages. However, if your phrasing is wrong, people might think that you despise everyone who decides to marry.
Mostly because nowadays the original idea of marriage - a business partnership - has been replaced with the concept of a romantic bond, so people critical of that concept are seen as people rejecting love.
Me? I'm nonplussed, I approached my marriage as a business partnership between my wife and I our families' interest, and it worked out well.
Because they're either married and think you are attacking them personally or they look at you as a deviant because you aren't following societal norms. Most people get married so they see you breaking societal norms.
Some people cannot deal with any opinion that differs from their own. I personally love the idea of marriage, but will not consider it under the current laws. She breaks the vows and still walks away with half of what I earned during the marriage and lifetime alimony if the marriage is long enough? No thanks.
Well shit, no one involved wants to hear opinions that differ from capitalizing off of a "love contract". Marriage has turned, in at least the time I've existed, from a ceremony of union for life into.. Yo fuck all that, this is a legal document which entitles me to half when our divorce finally happens.
The only problem I have with marriage is that it incentivizes the wives to leave their husbands.
For men, marriage is a total scam. What is the benefit to it if you can do everything right and still lose half of your stuff because your wife woke up one day and decided she didn't love you anymore.
I am not against divorce but if marriages cab end as easily as it began if not easier, there is no point. You might as well just stayed into a relationship.
I'm certainly not butthurt over it. People have a right to their own opinion on the matter. Not everyone is for marriage and that's okay. I don't get anyone who is triggered by it.
Just add the disclaimer that you have a low opinion of marriage - now. Given the legal and cultural climate of "3rd wave" femi (commu) nism, your stance is totally understandable.
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
I am not married but I certainly want to get married. I also see why others wouldn’t want to get married too. I respect everyone’s choice no one should be expected to get married if they don’t want to. But then again you don’t need to criticize others choices you can just say i don’t want to do that but good luck to y'all.
Certain people have strong beliefs and feelings for marriage. Usually when people criticize marriage it’s usually about men getting no benefit and stuck with alimony or that people just not wanting to get married
Marriage is a cultural thing that changes with the culture and not many people are willing to accept that.
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
I don’t know. My guess is they are either totally happy in their own (doubtful), naive, or just have no experience. Marriage is complicated, stressful, blissful at times, but so many people get married and more so stay married for the wrong reasons.
People are triggered when his criticize their beliefs. Because they think it’s them you’re criticizing. It’s actually fundamental that we separate ourselves from “beleif” and be able to change based on evidence.
Because the marriage is a present from God from the paradise and Satan wants to destroy all what had a connection to God. So the people start to critizise all divine institutions.
God didn’t give anything to anyone, he is a fictional character from ancient writings. Our collective experience as humans has shaped our history. We have sex because we want to, if there was no sex there would be no marriage.
People have had arrangements or agreements with each other throughout history with regards to sex, we don’t need to take the biblical version as the absolute definition of marriage
U have a fair right to be single and unmarried. Getting in all these peoples faces with ur question makes u the triggered one. And self centered... just bc u can't leave alone with others.
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