How should I control my anger in a relationship?

[drummer]

Sometimes I feel like I cannot control myself when I get angry, any suggestions?

[experience]

First up, recognize the signs. It's like knowing when your phone's about to die because it's at 1%. If you can tell when you're getting heated (maybe your chest tightens or your voice gets sharper), that's your cue to pause.

Take a breather. Literally. It's like hitting the pause button on a heated gaming session. Step away, take some deep breaths, go for a walk—whatever helps you cool down. It's about giving yourself a moment to switch from 'angry brain' to 'thinking brain'.

Communicate, don't escalate. Once you're feeling a bit more Zen, try to express what's bothering you without laying blame. Think of it as describing the problem to a teammate, not accusing an opponent. Use "I feel" statements instead of "You always" accusations. It's like saying, "I feel frustrated when dinner plans change last minute," instead of "You never stick to plans!"

Seek to understand, not to win. Relationships aren't about scoring points. Try to see things from your partner's viewpoint. It's like trying to understand why someone prefers subtitles on movies—it might not be your thing, but you get why they like it.

Establish a cool-down plan together. Discuss with your partner how you both prefer to handle anger. Maybe you need a few minutes alone, or perhaps a signal that means, "Let's talk about this later when we're both calm." It's like creating a game plan for those inevitable tough levels.

Consider the underlying issues. Sometimes, anger is just the tip of the iceberg. Maybe it's stress from work, feeling unappreciated, or other unresolved issues. It's like when your computer keeps freezing, and you realize it's because you have too many tabs open, not because the internet is slow.

Practice empathy and forgiveness. Try to approach situations with empathy. Forgiving doesn't mean forgetting; it means choosing to move forward. It's like patching up a leaky boat together so you can keep sailing.

It's like calling in a professional to fix that leaky faucet once and for all because sometimes DIY just doesn't cut it.

t's not easy to manage your anger, but then again, nothing worth doing ever is, right? Plus, navigating these challenges together can actually strengthen your relationship in the long run.

[SciencePreacher]

It's probably the excess of hormones that elevate respiratory rate, blood pressure and the complicated stuff. The only solution to high levels of corticoids is to oppose them with high levels of sex hormones. Go get some testosterone prescribed in the gym.

Don't forget your "coomjar".

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[AaronKrieger]

Before I give my advice, let me give you some examples of my anger issues in the past.
- Tried to kill my older brother with a knife as a kid.
- Have broken things worth hundreds of dollars.
- Was abusive to my dog for a period at 16 like a man child, since I could not cope with issues at the time. (I haven't done it since for any concerned)
- Self harmed when I became very angry as a coping method (punching things or myself).
Now, I corrected this behavior for the most part by working and reflecting on my habits. You would be surprised, but they significantly impact your mental health. For example, punching things does not help your anger, as it reinforces the idea that punching is the way to cope.

Reflect on your habits and think about how they impact you. You slowly can try stopping any negative ones by not putting yourself in situations that have a higher chance of causing them. Also, research habits that are healthy for you and see if any can work for your routine or life. This is what I have started to apply for my life with anger and other things as well.

It is okay if you mess up once in a while, but it is the consistent effort to improve that matters.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Regular rage room trips, learning healthy expressions of anger, ie writing angry letters you never send, throwing garbage at a wall, breaking plates in an empty parking lot, screaming into a pillow, screaming in your car, etc. and also learning what the source of your anger is. All anger comes from a place of hurt, acknowledge that and then find out where and how that pain comes to you. If it’s from a source you can’t change, it might need to be put out of your life, everything else can be discussed with your partner or someone else you trust

[dynamicyandere]

Get some space when you need to cool off — some time to yourself.


Find a healthy way for you to clear your mind.


That could be going for a walk, doing breathing exercises, meditation, working out, or something else.


Actively work on getting better and better at cleaning your mind.


Center yourself on what’s important to you — big big big picture thinking.


Like, at the end of your life, on your death bed, what’s actually important to you?


Clear your mind and focus on that.


For me, centering myself this way has helped me tremendously.

[dynamicyandere]

clearing your mind*

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

It is not okay that you feel uncontrollable anger in relationships…

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

Try to just recognize it in the heat of the moment, pause, and challenge your angry thoughts and what your goals truly are, like whether you want to try to angrily prove your other wrong at the expense of the relationship or if what you really want is to draw closer and develop mutual understanding.

The hardest part is just learning to pause for a second when you're heated. A powerful quote:

"To be moved by anger is not manly, but courtesy and kindness, as they are more agreeable to human nature, so also are they more manly; and he who possesses these qualities possesses strength, nerves, and courage, and not the man who is subject to fits of rage and discontent. The nearer one's mind is to freedom from anger, the nearer it is to strength, and as pain is a characteristic of weakness, so also is anger. For he who yields to pain and he who yields to anger, both are wounded and both submit." -- Marcus Aurelius

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

It gets easier and easier if you can succeed to do this even once when you're getting angry. Again the goal is not to simply refrain from acting out in anger while still being angry, but to genuinely challenge and replace your angry thought patterns.

Each time you succeed in reframing your angry thoughts, the easier it becomes each subsequent time. Also the more you succeed in doing this, the less you will even become angry in the first place because your overall thinking patterns in difficult situations will begin to gradually improve.

[lightbulb27]

No drugs cleanup diet
Take time to breathe and listen to your emotions. Slow down and write down.
Try listening for the trueth… even if hurts. If you dint trust then get view from others to get perspective or therapist.
Take tome to reflect… find inmer wounds leading to that reaction and heal.
Go to chirch to worship, pray, meditate. Time jn nature

[BoopBoopBeep]

Tons of therapy for whatever it is that makes you emotionally unstable. You may need drugs to adjust your neurochemistry but you're not going to figure that out in a 30 minute session with a stranger.

[pinkydaze_]

Think happy thoughts, remember why you love him or her, know you don't wanna lose her, think of another man or woman eating from your plate...

[JacobJordan]

Self control is important not just in relationships but in life. And only you can figure out self control. It is different for everyone

[serious_miss419]

If you feel like you cannot, then you need to find a way that you can. Work on your impulses and triggers

[JayBones]

Find a woman that makes your life easy and your dick hard. You will be less angry and you won't even have to learn how to control your anger

[Zestyassmf1997]

Remember that whatever it is probably isn’t actually that big of a deal.

[Anonymous]

Take the anger out in bed, Hard deep and fast. Do not lift your hand.

[Amara_09]

What’s the problem? Get to the bottom of it

[Little_Bumblebee]

Please get some professional help

[LaurenM1997]

Go to anger issues class

[Booklover_90]

What do you do when you’re angry?

[MemeSupreme]

take a chill pill

[Anonymous]

Get a fucking therapist

[Opinion Owner]

And grow up ur damn near 40 man child

[MemeSupreme]

or he's a man child near 30

it's all about perspective...

[kingmaker21]

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[laly520]

get to therapy

[jahaims]

Therapy

[Charliefretz329]

Walk away