How do I stop being insecure and overthinking?

[Anonymous]

I'm a girl and sometimes I'm assuming my boyfriend is cheating on me. But he always proved me that he never do that, he's really open to me and honest where he wants to go. When we meet he didn't mind if I'm checking his phone (and if he text someone, he will lend his phone to me because he told me to read the chat) and if something is kinda sketchy for me he will give me an explanation. I don't know what is wrong with me, I'm always paranoid. I did trust him but sometimes the voices on my mind is too loud, it's so annoying.

[Oliverlogan263]

Yo, overthinking and insecurity can be really tough to deal with. A few things that might help:

- Remember why you trust your boyfriend in the first place. Focus on his actions that show he cares about you, instead of the what-ifs in your head.

- Communicate how you're feeling, but don't make accusations. Tell him you're feeling insecure and need reassurance sometimes. A good boyfriend will understand.

- Spend time with other friends too so you're not just focused on the relationship. Do your own thing sometimes.

- Challenge the negative thoughts when they start. Ask yourself what evidence you really have vs just assumptions. Try to see other explanations.

- Consider keeping a gratitude journal to balance out the doubts. Write down what you appreciate in him and your relationship each day.

- Remember everyone gets insecure sometimes - it's normal! Don't be too hard on yourself. Just keep working on building yourself up too with your own interests and self-confidence.

- Maybe try exercising, meditating, or other stress relievers when the overthinking kicks in. Clear your head a bit.

You got this! Relationships take practice feeling secure. Keep communicating with your boyfriend and you'll get better at not letting the doubts take over.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

I used to overthink extremely when I was very young, even losing sleep all night long thinking about things to the point where I would start venturing into the most negative "what if?" scenarios and being haunted by them.

I still "hyperthink" but no longer "overthink". My mind is hyper-active and I do like to spend time analyzing things much longer than required. But a difference is that if you're what I call a "hyperthinker", the more time you spend thinking about something, the more accurate your estimates of the probabilities of each likely possibility becomes. When you're an "overthinker", you start to often think the least likely and most worrying possibility has the highest probability and the less accurate your probability estimates tend to become.

So the way to correct that and at least become a "hyperthinker" (I haven't figured out how to stop being a "hyperthinker") instead of an "overthinker" is to start thinking more and more logically, like a scientist. Start asking what the actual odds are of each possible conclusion.

If you're a scientific thinker, you don't think "this is right" and "that is wrong". You start associating probabilities of each possible hypothesis being correct, like "I estimate that this hypothesis has a 20% chance of being correct given the data collected so far, while I estimate this alternative hypothesis has a 60% chance of being correct." And you reevaluate the probabilities each time you gather more and more data.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

Another is to overcome any fear of anything highly improbable. For example, there is some chance, however small, that the next time you eat something, you will choke to death, that the next time you cross the street, you will be hit by a car, that the next time you go to the doctor, you will be diagnosed with cancer. These are very unlikely events but they have more than a 0% chance of happening. But if we're afraid of anything improbable, it will prevent us from ever being able to function in society. So we have to overcome our fear of at least the improbable.

[Lady_Heart]

U need to realise that overthinking won't get u anywhere. If ur guy is good with u just remove these thoughts. If he starts to change then u talk to him about it like whats going on i noticed this and that. Ur first tot shouldn't be cheating, but should be his explanation. Girl u luck, believe me there are some really bad men who would literally ruin ur mentality by using that against u bfr they leave u. Also don't tell him everything, he doesn't need to knw unless its necessary n u really hv evidence he is cheating on u otherwise mistrust in relationship can be a kill joy.

[FreyaRed]

Don't focus on his phone alone, setting up a parallel phone isn't difficult. There is a difference between situational awareness and paranoia. Draw right conclusions on hand of your logic not with emotions.

[Finchie40]

The best thing for you to do , is to focus on yourself, and learn to love yourself, , and except yourself for who you are , understand nobody can force someone to love them, all we can do is treat someone , the same way we want to be treated in return. if that someone chooses to walk away from you , let them go , because someone that actually loves you , will not walk away from you period , so value your own self worth and choose someone the same way you want them to choose you. That’s all we can do , your boyfriend is more than likely choosing you , the same way he wants you to choose him. Remember you can’t force someone to love you , all you can do is learn to love yourself and treat someone the same way you want to be treated in return. You will never be happy or content if you allow your insecurities to take the better of you

[JacobJordan]

Poor guy. I feel bad. Can't imagine how insufferable it would be to deal with that all the time. You ever heard of a leap of faith? It applies to relationships because you are supposed to trust your boyfriend or girlfriend even if you have your doubts you trust them until they show you a valid reason not to. You are just all kinds screwing your own relationship up. And if you continue to do this stupid shit to him he is liable to actually cheat because you constantly think the worst of him so why bother being a good person.

[mobiusforniner]

Insecurity comes from a place of emptiness and void. So whatever little you do have, you hold on with tight clutches. You are afraid. You fear what can be lost.

So, you must love yourself. Invest in what makes you happy. Learn the power of letting go, not of things or people, but of what you want. When you find this happiness, your heart will feel full and you’ll have a compelling desire to share your abundance with others.

[PeachyPie93]

Go to counselling. You may have a bigger issue than you think.

[ProbablyClueless]

You have to get those concerns about your sense of self-worth figured out. You might need to heal some past traumas to address your concerns.

[BoopBoopBeep]

Please get help. That's going to sabotage a great many of your relationships because it's absolutely exhausting to date someone like you. You deserve to be in a happier place.

[spartan55]

Yeah, I suggest you get rid of that mentality. Most guys won't put up with that very long.

[ChicoFromThe305]

You gotta work on that and that starts by giving the benefit of the doubt when you are overthinking

[DreamLife7]

You need a therapist u have a issues. And yeah he probably is cheating you deserve it

[whistlingwh0res]

Men are like this

[Anonymous]

By realizing at some point it stops being cute.

[Anonymous]

Go with your gut instinct he probably I'd cheating on you

[Zestyassmf1997]

It’ll probably get better with time.

[Nice222]

Sometimes you just have to say “Fuck it”

[serious_miss419]

It means you don’t like him anymore

[KrakenAttackin]

Do you cheat on him?

[Charliefretz329]

Pass…