Is following girls on instagram a big deal?

[Anonymous]

i’ve heard mixed reviews about this. some people say yes and some say no. my boyfriend follows and likes girls bikini and butt pictures. he hasn’t had instagram for two years then he got it back. he then he followed a girl that he knew in highschool that he liked all her pictures and that drove me crazy. he says he followed her because he wanted to no matter what i’ll always be bitching and complaining about it. I don't know if i should let it bother me or not. my mom and anger both say that i shouldn’t let it bother me because it’s just social media and he more than. likely won’t have a chance with them. but he’s DMed this girl before telling her how pretty she is so i feel like he can get her if he wanted to. I don't know im really insecure.

[Cody2004]

Personally I don't like really adding girls on anything really. In my experience say if something happens between two of them their attention turns towards me and being on sides. I do think the whole photo thing is weird. You have every right to be upset by that in my opinion because he's looking at other females instead of you. (especially if it's in a sexual Manor) I have a sister, I grew up with her my whole life and I've seen her get upset by stuff like that. She explained why and it makes a lot of sense. I know I can't understand your pain because you know different genders. I feel it though and I wouldn't like that feeling either. The people defending that I would completely disregard them, they come off as somebody who's never actually cared about somebody in the way that you have. Unfortunately I have three options really, first one is you start doing it and see how he feels about it. That's like the petty shit but it's definitely an option. I would not judge somebody for doing that because sometimes it's the only way to make somebody understand. The second way is to just put up with it. Not recommended it would fuck with your mental health. The last option would be put your foot down and if he doesn't agree just move on you can find somebody better than that. The last one is easier said than done, I understand that but your mental health is worth a lot more than some dood.


Sum it up yeah I think you're completely Justified in how you feel it's fucking weird when people do that yes it's fine to have other girls added but as soon as it starts getting weird shut that shit down

[Oliverlogan263]

Girllll, I totally get why that stuff with your man would make you feel insecure! Following random hot girls online and liking all their thirst traps is shady behavior, no matter what he says.

A couple things stick out to me though - the fact that he DM'ed one of them calling her pretty is just not cool. That's straight up flirting right there. And the way he acted like you were being crazy for not liking it is gaslighting.

I'd have a serious talk with him about boundaries. Make it clear his social media activity is disrespectful to you and the relationship. If he wants you to trust him, he needs to cut that mess out ASAP.

And don't let him flip it on you either - you have every right to feel the way you do. His actions are the problem here, not your "insecurity." Stand your ground sis! If he can't respect your feelings, he ain't the one. You deserve way better babe. 💪

[naartjie]

I love how the men say it’s not a deal breaker or they’re on the fence when it’s them who are doing these things. Then the women who all say it’s a deal breaker because it hurts them.
Your boyfriend has no respect for you. End of. Don’t make excuses for him, he’s an adult. You’ve voiced how you feel and he doesn’t care. Men show you how they think and feel and he has shown you he doesn’t care. My heart hurts for you if you ignore your hurt and stay with someone like that when really there are men out there that don’t do that stuff.
We won’t live forever and time is not promised. If I were you and I’ve voiced I don’t like something that my partner is doing that hurts me but he chooses to still do it, I’d leave his ass on the spot. No way I’d waste my time with that.
My brother knew a girl from high school (about 11 years he knew her) and he deleted her off social media after she started posting teasers for her onlyfans on platforms and he was dating someone; his girlfriend didn’t even know about it but it showed how much he cared and respected her and their relationship. He knew she’d not be happy if she saw that showing up in his phone and he took care of it.
Please please please don’t settle for this and waste your life with this guy. If this is something that gets to you and hurts you but he doesn’t care, that’s your answer.

[Apple1996]

A very big deal in my opinion. I wouldn't put up with it

[rosemilk]

i'm so glad i don't have this problem. i think it's a big deal for sure. personally, i'd see it as a red flag. he's DM'ing girls... no thanks. that's an awful boyfriend. also, because you're concerned, he said you're bitching and complaining? what is his issue? he treats you awful, why are you with him? now i have a problem with his attitude more than him liking girls pictures.

[bobalife]

Yeah I think you just drop him. You told him it bothers you, but he didn’t acknowledge how it makes you feel and went ahead to continue and dm a girl. That’s a big no. Girls throw thirst traps allll the timeee, but if he has no self control and don’t consider your feelings… he’s just selfish, disrespectful, and a douche.

[Drew-1990]

If he is following hot girls to look at bikini and butt pics and he is messaging them. That is a problem honestly. To watch a bunch of funny videos ok but when he is following other girls isn't right. Doesn't matter that he probably has zero chance with these girls how faithful are you if you are always checking other girls out. It isn't cheating but I think it builds towards it.

[Worst]

I don't follow random girls on insta (i barely even use it actually) I only follow people I know and accounts that have a special interest to me (mostly car/sport pages) but I don't follow any accounts of girls that just post pics of themselves all the time; i’m extremely attracted by my partner, I have no interest in anyone else. Insta hoes especially

[KrakenAttackin]

I think if you are in a committed relationship neither party should be very active on social media. Social media is toxic AF as it leads to constant comparison. As we all know, "comparison is the thief of joy".

Men might "follow" hot women, and women post wildly inappropriate pictures, and both are seeking attention aside from their SO. Both are relationship destroyers.

[adam6402]

You're not being insecure for feeling troubled about this. Following random girls or liking a random girls pictures is one thing, but DM'ing a girl that he knows and telling her she looks pretty is WAY too far!

[PeachyPie93]

If he is hitting them up and liking all of her pictures he defo wants her. So is that the type of guy you want to waste your time with? Dump him and do better.

[justabuddy]

Yes and no. Just following other girls is no big deal. Instagram is a business and is used heavily for marketing purposes for other businesses. So depending on how he acts, its no different than a guy working as a photographer.

liking pictures because of the butt in a non market manner might be a red flag.

[matchrestore]

I follow some girls on Instagram, but they're friends and acquaintances and not bikini influencers. Just because the account belongs to a girl shouldn't be a red flag.

[DizzyDesii]

I just prefer we have no social media cause ima feel some type of way if he following hoes and liking they near nude pics

[spartan55]

"I feel like he can get her if he wanted to"... uh... why is that? Because he DMd her?
He is with you, right?

[LiamJHayden]

It bothers you, you told him, and he flipped you the bird. Dump him.

[Danny_dan92]

Ask yourself this question… do you follow other guys you find attractive?




If so you really aren’t one to talk.

[pumpkinpie23]

I’m sorry but seems like a red flag to me.
I mean if you’ve already let him know that it bothers you then he probably shouldn’t be continuing to do that.

[Courtneyblabla]

It is if you use those girls for pleasure or cheat against your partner.

[he-takes-a-part]

Go to gym.
She might be a prettier consignment than you are.
I also happen to like girls behind her back. I want to fuck them all.

[Alex-Snow]

I did in high school but not so much any more in college

[Jmmmfi4]

DEFINITELY NOT A BIG DEAL

[Wise4myage]

Its not in my opinion.

[Dreamclouds]

What instagram?