Is this a problem to an insecurity or is my “boyfriend” the jerk?

[Anonymous]

Hey guys, my boyfriend and i have been together for 4 years and he follows bikini girls on instagram and it makes me feel so insecure. i asked him to please stop and he had unfollowed sooooo many but there’s still some that bothers me. I don't know if it bothers me because i am insecure about myself or if the fact that he is following bikini girls disrespectful. he used to like their pictures, but not anymore. at this moment in time i don’t know if ill ever get over it, but i know i want to, but I don't know if i can. i am only saying that because he used to DM girls saying they are pretty and he used to screen shot a lot of pictures. he is following one now that he used to screen shot a lot of her pictures. he said he would unfollow her, but she is still there. i know he has no shot with this girl, but the fact that he used to screen shot her pictures and like a lot of them makes me think that he is attracted to her in way. it also makes me sad because she thick and has a big butt and i am not think or have a big butt. i feel like i am fat. so I don't know what to do. is following girls on instagram a big deal or is my insecurity driving me crazy?

[teamvic]

Well firstly you said you think he's attracted to that girl in some way? HELL yeah he's attracted to her he wants to clap her cheeks. He probably screenshotting to stroke a few off to her pictures. Let's get that clear😂

Now for your second question. Is it something you should be insecure about. I mean it's definitely not an unheard of thing. I know there are many girls who don't like their boyfriends liking or following girls with fat asses or half naked models. And it's for the same reason you dont like it. Some even say it's a red flag in men if they do follow those kinds of girls

I mean I get why you would be insecure but at the same time it should be nothing to worry about. As you said. He has no chance with her anyway. It also doesn't mean he doesn't care about you either. It ALSO doesn't mean your body isn't good enough as well

Think of it from your point of view. Let's say for example your type in men are men with six pack abs. Hella muscles and lean. And then your boyfriend has no muscle definition and got some fat on him. Does that mean you find your boyfriend unattractive? No, I wouldn't THINK anyway. It also doesn't mean he's not your type either. I too think those girls in bikinis are fine as fuck but if my girl wasn't working out or didn't have that I wouldn't mind either. I would still like her. Obviously preferences change from person to person but what I'm trying to say Is just because he likes those fine ass women with nice asses and you don't have that. It doesn't mean he doesn't find you sexy or attractive as well.

More than likely he does. If not, why would he be with you?

As far as how you can get over it. Because I can't just say don't care and everything is okay. Your best bet is to just communicate it with him

Don't gotta argue just tell him how it makes you feel and why it bothers you. And that it makes you feel better if he didn't follow them. But do definitely try to work on it not bothering you. How? Fuck if I know. That comes from within

[Flatmanlewis]

It may be a bit of an insecurity. Men have checked out pretty girls from the beginning of time. The huge difference between all of time and now is that there is a fresh daily supply of eye candy.


Typically, things always worked that some guy bought a pinup calendar, had a magazine subscription, or the once a year Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue (which I think is soundly dead, but that’s another topic all together.). Now, every time he opens his phone there’s some tart dropping images & videos into his feed.


I think you should probably accept that, for the most part, this is probably the same harmless behavior that men (and some women) have always done. Plenty of people have a crush on some celebrity and “celebrity” now can be an Instagram figure or YouTuber. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you; it doesn’t mean he is going to try and meet them, or doesn’t value you. Thinking some model is pretty does not mean he doesn’t think you are pretty too.


In a healthy relationship anyhow. If this has crossed some line into obsessive behavior or him stalking chicks daily, maybe it’s worth a talk.

[kaozpiper]

Don't listen to some of these other dudes... that's definitely not okay. If a guy is in a committed and exclusive relationship with a woman, he shouldn't be following anything that could be considered softcore porn. To me, this sounds like he's being very disrespectful, especially since you voiced that you don't want him following these women.

I'm going to say break up with him right now, but you gotta put your foot down. This is a boundary that he needs to respect and follow through with.

I'd find it hard to believe that he'd be okay if the situation was reversed. Maybe voice that to him. A a relationship is a two way road. Though, if he said he didn't care if you looked at half naked men, that's a major 🚩 and you should dump him immediately.

Not saying to find yourself a simp, but if you're dating someone, they have to have their eyes on you and you only.

I can only imagine what he does that you don't know about, if he's following women in bikinis and screenshoting them. If you ask me, that's creep behavior.

[Vermillion30]

I think that’s disrespectful. If you’re in a relationship and you’re doing something your partner doesn’t like is wrong.

Insecurities are not always so clean cut, Many are deep rooted in Childhood Traumas and other Abuses. Part of a relationship is understanding these and accepting and in part protecting your partner.

Though I have a few “Magazines” of Layla Rose, I keep for ahh Research purposes. I would rather not throw them out, but I would tel my Partner about them. Maybe she would be curious.

Bigger Issue i see is the DMing that are hard NO!, I would never message someone that kinda stuff if I’m with someone. It’s like going to the beach. Look once or twice and move on.

[ProbablyClueless]

I mean... you're definitely being insecure; the entire situation is being created by insecurity. But that doesn't make what he's doing any less disrespectful.

Take away the other details for a moment: you communicated a boundary in your relationship, he ignored your boundary. That's what's happened here.

[soe11]

• Be calmed and relaxed.
• It's a normal thing.
• No need to worry about it.
• Rather you should wear him sexy micro bikinis on beach and party.

[MrDaveAPSI]

It's def. an insecurity part on you

His social media, is NOT yours

[Anonymous]

I'll never why women make a big deal out of this. It's just softcore porn. He's not going to runaway with any of these women.