Is this normal behavior?

[Anonymous]

Every night I go to sleep usually reading a book after I have sorted out my two children, me and my partner have been having problems and he has hurt me a lot and my children regarding his addictions. So every night after I’m exhausted from another day of being a mum (may I add it’s me who do everything for our children) cooking cleaning bathing etc and I also work (my partner doesn’t) he will continuously text message me asking me to come upstairs, prove that I love him, asking me to change, last night he text me and asked me to buy him baby oil …. I relied why and he said basically because I’m not having sex with him ….. he then becomes angry (seems as he isn’t getting his own way) I’m so fed up would it all and the way he acts pushes me further and further away, bearing in mind he was calling me names over the weekend such as “cunt & slut” and now he is getting upset because I’m not giving it up, I’m almost 35 and I’m tired of not being respected and treated this way, anyone please help with there thoughts

[SueShe]

Basically, you have not much choice.

You don't state what his addiction is but that is not really relevant. Fact is that people seldom recognize that they have them and that they need treatment for them. He will probably deny that he is addicted to substances, sex or gambling and will most probably reject seeing a specialist. Also, what you need is couple counseling but again, he will deny that he needs it. This will leave you having to go by yourself but at least, you will send him a signal that something is foul with the relationship.

I would recommend that you prepare a list of issues that you see within your relation and to each issue, you bring up a solution to the problem. Ask your husband to do a similar list, independent from yours. Thereafter, you sit together and go over both lists trying to find a consensus that is acceptable to both parties. The important thing is not to be angry or accusing because that would not only falsify the outcome but make things only worse. Good luck.

[Saiesh30]

Can't say it any better than SueShe said.
It's absolutely not a normal behaviour and the fact that he's only gonna deny everything you propose makes it seem hopeless.
I'd suggest you to look after yourself first and foremost. The simple reason being, "you cannot pour from an empty cup".
So if you're able to, seek a therapist yourself as that is in your control. Him consulting one is out of your control now. See, what the therapist has to offer and what solutions he has for you. Then take it from there.
What's most important is to keep patience yourself. I know it's easier said than done but that's what you gotta do.

[Asker]

I am so broken inside, unfortunately so much negative has happened regarding his addictions & he always has a way of making me feel sorry for him, I have thought about leaving with our children but he always seems to make me feel like he’s nothing without us, although our lives have been terrible with everything that’s happened, he has stolen from my family member including my blind dad, is always asking me for money, he isn’t aloud to be alone with the children, my life has been the upmost difficult, and he says if I show him more affection his addictions wouldn’t be so bad, he went to rehab & got asked to leave four days in, but that was my fault for messing his head up and not sleeping with him before he left, it’s all completely draining and I’m actually miserable

[Saiesh30]

I really feel sorry for you.
There comes certain times in life where we need some or the other support to be able to carry on with life.
It's high time you seek help. And from the circumstances a therapist, counselor is the best bet.

[Asker]

Can I ask why you feel sorry for me? And do you think any of the above of what I have told you is normal?

[boggboss]

Forward addict any behaviour is normal as they are not normal thinking people I'm not sure what u expect or are asking here u know he is a addict but think he is just going to change for you?