If he cheated on his ex he will cheat on you: true or false?

[Anonymous]

Or could it be his ex was just the wrong person for him?

Yes once a cheater always a cheater

No not necessarily

A total of 62 votes were cast: 31 girls and 31 guys. See detailed results

[OlderAndWiser]

A person who cheats will cheat on any partner, when given the opportunity. A person who does not cheat will leave a relationship if the partner is wrong for them, and then they will look for another partner, no cheating necessary.

[Asker]

What about ted mosby?

[OlderAndWiser]

I have no idea who that is.

[Asker]

How I Met your mother?

[OlderAndWiser]

I know that was a television program but i never watch tv.

[DreamCrescent]

i never watched that show either but i think the fact that he’s a fictional character probably answers your question.

i agree with @OlderAndWiser. it’s a character thing and once someone has cheated, it only gets easier the next time

[turnpost]

@DreamCrescent Once a cheater is always a cheater. Like come on now, you would have to be brain dead to cheat. There is no "learning lesson" to say like ohhhhhhhhhhhh "CHEATING IS BAD" I don't know!!! lol

[Flatmanlewis]

The best predictor of future behavior is past relevant behavior.


You already know this man lacks the emotional and mental fortitude to address issues in a relationship. They seek the immediate gratification of someone else’s attention rather than the maturity of sorting what they have already committed to.

[Account]

It is not necessarily true, but I am the kind of person who would not take my chances with that.

[loveslongnails]

What if you didn't know he once cheated, especially if it was only once a long time ago and he says "no, never", even if you asked him? There's "x" number of guys who would say "Ok, I'm being completely honest and want to be upfront and never lie again", and spill. Then there's "x" number of guys who believe that about themselves but don't think you would, so they're willing to take it to the grave and tell you one last lie. How will you know?

[Account]

If they lie about something like that, odds are that they lie about other stuff too. Don't worry I am not a bad judge of character.

[loveslongnails]

That argument has its flaws, since EVERYBODY lies about something, even you, and you'd be lying if you said you didn't. Let's hypothesize; you put a lot of importance and weight on this subject, evidenced by referring to it as "something like that". Let's say a man does too, but looks at it differently.

Let's say it's his biggest regret in a past relationship long ago and hasn't every done or considered it since. He knows in his heart he'll never do that again because he's well aware of and distinctly remembers the pain, hurt, and agony it caused not just her, but himself, all over sex. He knows this, he's sure of this, but he also knows that you'd kick him to the curb and not want anything to do with him IF he told you. But you're the one he wants to spend his life with, and it becomes a "Sophie's Choice".

What you're saying is he MUST tell you this truth, knowing it will end the relationship but somehow believing it won't, only then to console himself with the thought that " if she wouldn't believe I'm not that man anymore, she's not the one for me". ?

[Account]

It appears that you really misjudge me if you think I would act like I wouldn't forgive a cheater. I would act like it doesn't matter to me at all what he did in the past and he would feel safe enough to confess.

[Account]

So mind your own business and stop arguing over nothing that is none of your business thanks.

[loveslongnails]

Hmmm, struck a nerve it seems. This is a forum; a discussion, and I'm presenting hypotheticals which you've apparently taken personally. I assure you this isn't ABOUT you personally, it was about your responses.

You said this: " ... but I am the kind of person who would not take my chances with that." That's a personal statement. Then you said this: " .. If they lie about something like that, odds are that they lie about other stuff too". It seems fairly obvious from those statements that you'd be leaning to the unforgiving side - hypothetically speaking! So I brought up a "what if" scenario, which prompted this: " you really misjudge me if you think I would act like I wouldn't forgive a cheater." And then boom! LOL

What have you said in your comments to me that would lead one to think you would be forgiving? Never mind, it's a rhetorical question, and I couldn't care less what you would choose to do - it's just a discussion! Geez.

[EmmaMary]

Absolutely True... A Leopard Never Changes Its Spots.

[EmmaMary]

Thank you for the MHO.

[AviatorTom]

Not necessarily. It depends on why they cheated, and what kind of relationship they were in.

[HawkPerception]

Not necessarily. I'm sure there are plenty of people in the world that cheated once with someone else and never did it again. But I would never trust a cheater. If you do it once, you desensitize yourself to doing it again.

[Nirmroth]

Could have walked away when they werent happy and break up yet they decided to cheat showing that they dont respect commitment and are more prone to cheat again.

[boggboss]

No I wouldn't say its a garuntie but more so are u willing to give a chance to someone thats shown they are capable of cheating in the first place

[Asker]

I really don’t know. This happened in his first relationship and as far as I know she was more of a consolation prize rather than his first choice. Still doesn’t look good

[boggboss]

Clearly it dont look good lol he has already shown from the get go he is a cheater it dont mean he will cheat again but shows he is capable of cheating so any time somthing that could be shadey happens your mind will go to it being bad

[loveslongnails]

Anyone can change, but some things are much more difficult to change than others. As far as most women are concerned, it seems the overwhelming decision is that a man won't ever change that kind of behavior.

[Nikki1989]

Yes, there is a very good chance he will cheat again.

[mono_gram]

People can learn from their mistakes, right?

[elizamichale1]

Not necessarily is my answer but my experience has been otherwise

[sheikalana]

Doesn't mean he will but there are chances he might do it again.

[Ms_Facesitter]

Not always true, but I won't be looking for the exception, it's a red flag I will not ignore.

[douride2]

Like I have always said. Once a cheater always a cheater.

[Peridot25]

NEVER EVER trust someone who has a history of cheating. Stay away from him.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Most likely.

[ManOnFire]

It is a very high chance that he will.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Yeah cheaters will always be cheaters.

[Asker]

But what if she wasn’t the right girl for him? He has known her for years before they got into a relationship and meanwhile he tried to get to know me

[TheSpaceGnome]

People who have sex or makeout with a person who isn't a proper match, or with another person before leaving the prior person, generally are not able to have a lasting relationship with anyone.

[Biancam13]

Agreed

[RainBat]

No because I ate them

[worldscolide]

This is true regardless of gender

[OtterMan68]

Everyone deserves ONE second chance

[electromagnetic]

Patterns.

[Slim57]

True