We just got back from a long trip and we are both ill. I have a cold and my boyfriend too plus he also is suffering a flareup with his autoimmune disease. He has been suffering for a couple of weeks to be honest and I've really tried to be sympathetic and helpful, asking is he's ok, etc.
We got back last night and have been pottering around this morning. He started to be a bit standoffish and saying 'don't ask me anything' in a tone that suggested I was annoying him. I didn't ask him to do anything, I haven't been nagging, I've simply been normal with him. But he got annoyed. When I pointed it out and said that I don't deserve to be treated like I'm an annoyance when all I'm trying to do is help him, he basically said that me telling him how I feel and being transparent with him while he's ill is not helping him. I get it's not nice being confronted, but also it's not nice being treated like an annoying fly rather than a girlfriend. According to him, I shouldn't tell him how I feel and wait until afterwards when he's feeling better. That goes against my communication style; I'd rather tell him straight away because otherwise I'll just sit and stew for ages. If he's going to be mean, I'm gonna tell him right there and then, I don't care how ill you are. And actually it's for his benefit because if he carries on being mean, I ain't gonna help him.
My boyfriend actually said 'how can I be nice when I feel unwell?' so that to me suggests selfishness; it's ok for me to be mean and make someone else feel like crap because I'm ill. He isn't a selfish person normally but omg when he is unwell it's all about him. I've been getting on with my cold this morning and not once has he asked how I am or offered to do something for me. I'm so sick of this dynamic where the man is a little cry baby and the woman has to look after herself even though she is feeling just as bad. Has anyone resolved this issue? If so, what did you say/do?
