Are my friends right it was stupid of me to wait this long and saving myself for the one?

[Anonymous]

Hey everyone.

I'm a 27 year old woman. I've been single so far and hence, a virgin. Now you must be wondering why did I specify that fact. Well, I'm at an age where almost all my friends are married or engaged or committed and they keep on telling me that it's too late for me now to find someone and also that no guy would be interested in me since I lack experience in the physical intimacy area and all that similar stuff. Now one thing you should know is I decided to stay single intentionally in order to focus on my studies and career which I do not regret by the way. And also I stay away from all kinds of relationship stuffs so that when I finally get into a relationship in future, I can be absolutely guilt free and completely be open minded with my future partner. Also, I'm a fairly good looking woman incase anybody assumes that I had/have to stay single coz nobody was/is interested in me. The thing is I don't think relationships are something simple that you can be in and get out once you're bored. And I believe in the concept of saving myself for someone who I feel truly deserves my effort and time. I know, it sounds almost stupid, but that's what I believe in. So I'm taking my time to be well settled myself so that I can find someone and be with them without being a financial burden on them. But when people around me keep telling me that I'm wrong and that my decisions are stupid, sometimes it messes with my head. I feel like what if they're right.

So my question is, do you think it was stupid of me to wait this long and also, the idea of saving myself for the one? Are my friends right?

[Anonymous]

It’s not too late for sure. But I will say your chances of meeting someone have decreased quite a bit. At your age a lot of men wonder why are you a boring at that age? You’re almost 30. So it does raise a red flag sometimes. I know for me it would. Like do you have trust issues or something? Maybe you’re a lot of drama that’s why no one ever stayed w you long enough to have sex w you. It does raise some questions. Exactly what’s your career that took this long that you’d put off finding someone? Again I’m not saying your chances are over, cause you still have time. The real question is do you want do things at a much later age? Let’s say you meet someone. Hopefully when you do that first one is the right one cause if not you’re losing more time. But assume the first one is the right one. How long do you date for before marriage? Maybe 2 years, married by your 3rd year or so. That puts you at 30. Maybe you decide to have kids by than. Again let’s assume things go good right from the start w getting pregnant. Kid is born. You’ll be maybe so where between 46-48 when the kid graduates. What about grandkids? It’s just a lot to consider. I’m not saying this to discourage you but these are things to consider.

[tremendousfern]

I think you're the one who's mostly right. I would say at 27 it's probably time you start being a lot more active in looking for relationships, but you're by no means out of time. I'd say at this point worrying about your finances and finding the right time is a bad mindset. There's nothing that keeps you from improving your situation while also pursuing a relationship. Finding a good man takes time anyways so it's not going to happen overnight regardless of your own personal circumstances.

Also, don't listen to them talk about how your lack of experience at sex is holding you back. That's BS. I was given the exact same terrible advice by my friends - that I needed to sleep around to get experience and I wish I hadn't. I truly wish I had saved my virginity for marriage.

When I had sex, I noticed that I "caught feelings" for the woman even though I knew objectively that a relationship with them would be stupid. And the garbage advice I was given is that I should just keep having sex with random women until those feelings of attachment went away. To me, this seems like a terrible mindset because for me a big part of what makes sex enjoyable is the intimacy and connection I felt with the woman.

Luckily, I realized I was being given terrible advice early on so I stopped making further mistakes. Definitely save your virginity for marriage, it will be much better for you and your future husband.

[Anonymous]

Girl, you are fine. And your friends are silly to say otherwise. You’re only 27. There is no cardinal rule that you must be in a relationship or have lost your virginity before 30. Nor before 40 or even 50. I’m 30 and don’t want to have sex unless it is with the one man who is the most important to me, my future husband. So yes, I’m a virgin too, and that is my choice.
Relationships, especially the ones that last for a lifetime, are not easy. They require a lot effort, patience, grace, forgiveness…and so much more. It sounds like that is what you want, and that is what you should save yourself for. A lot of people who think that that’s a wrong way to look at relationships, are often the ones getting divorced. So don’t take advice from them.

[winetime]

Who are they to tell you that it's too late? You've worked on yourself and where you want to be and that's very admirable. It's okay to worry sometimes but don't let them get to you. You are an attractive smart woman who's ready to take on the world and doesn't have any questions when it comes to that. They probably do.

Comparison is the thief of joy. You're doing wonderful. It's not too late and I wish you the absolute best.

[Artificial Intelligence]

Oh, darling, let me sprinkle a bit of wisdom on this unnecessary worry you've been carrying. First off, the decision to wait and focus on yourself, your studies, and your career is not just brave but incredibly smart! You've built a foundation that's all yours, and that's sexy as heck. Now, about this whole experience thing? Let me tell you, the world of romance and intimacy is not a one-size-fits-all. It's more like a custom-fit, tailored perfectly to the individuals involved.

Your friends, bless their hearts, are coming from their own perspectives which might not align with yours – and that's okay. The idea that nobody would be interested in you because of your virgin status is like saying nobody would buy a car because it hasn't been driven yet. Somewhat absurd, no?

The truth is, there are plenty of people out there who find value in your approach to relationships, and the right person will admire your dedication to yourself and your future partner. You're not behind; you're on your own unique timeline, and that's a beautiful thing. So, keep your head high, the right one is out there, and they're going to be lucky to have someone with such thoughtful, loving intentions. Let your heart lead the way and don't rush; good things, especially in love, come to those who wait. 😉💖

[gorydetails]

fuck off brad

[LοveﾠDoctorﾠBrad]

Tell me more.

[AviatorTom]

You are fine. The average age of women getting married and having a family is constantly increasing. Many men and women get married in their 30s. You've spent time to mature, and you will be a great catch for the right guy. Enjoy!

[Static_In_The_Attic]

As for love it works in mysterious ways & as for me I always say if it was meant to be or supposed to happen it simply would. In life I always say if you never try you will never know & as for me I rather try & fail rather than not try at all. In life if you want to meet people you have to get out & greet people. Nowadays when it comes to meeting people we all live busy lives & sometimes it’s hard to meet people but then again you might meet some really cool people where you least expect it or you might meet some real shit heads. As for you live your life my friend & live it the way you want to live it. As for other people let them live their lives & it sucks when they don’t let you live yours. As for other people they may be in relationships, they may be engaged, they may be married & they may have kids & all I can say is good for them & I wish them the best. As for me I’m single & accepting applications. As for me I may not be in a relationship, I may not be engaged, I may not be married or have kids & I’m ok with that. As for me I have if my independence & I have my freedom & I have the freedom to do whatever I want, whenever I want & so much more.
Live Your Life!

[Wetdreamz]

So I'm sure everyone will take what I say and focus on statistically obvious fact but none the less an admission that I likely being one of (I don't know how many) 10-100 sexual partners, the typical young woman had been with, am not the best she ever had.

Why is this important to bring up? Let's consider a scenario where you've used a flip phone all your life, and it's no longer working. For the first time, you end up buying a smart phone. well answer me this.. when that phone no longer works, what are the chances that you will ever consider a flip phone again? Its almost guaranteed that the smart phone you had, has now become the minimum or baseline phone you'd ever consider going forward.

This happens to women far more often than I'm sure the gals here will admit, but it's a high they'll long for as they are on their back, hoping that their boyfriend can just organism as quick as possible because she lost interest long ago, and is agreeing to have set with her boyfriend for him, not them.

Isn't likely that you don't know what you know? And even if you heard, let's be honest 1 in 20 is likely what it took for them to experience the best

[nothingtosee]

As romantic as your idea might be, if I wanted to marry you, I would be afraid your sexual interests might not be on the same level as mine. For example, what if I asked you to do something kinda kinky, or what you what you would consider kinky? You might be completely disgusted by it, and because of it, you might be completely disgusted by me. Then what? Our sex life would be destroyed, and our marriage would eventually end.

Or, what if you had a sexual fantasy that I thought was disgusting? Then what?

Or, what if I discover that you don't have any sexual fantasies? How could I pleasure more if you don't know what you like sexually?

My point is, don't wait until you get married to have sex! Life is WAY too short to not experience sex! Sex with every man will be different.

[Mr_twoface]

Your friends are wrong and there are women who have kids when they are in their 40's. The idea of wanting for Mr right, is a valid choice and its in your hands! There are plenty of men out there (not like some gag users) who are true gentleman and treats women with respect no matter their experiences in life. Some adores a virgin, whilst others want a more experienced one. It comes down to taste and personal experience.

You take your time and don't rush into anything! Go on dates when it suits you and best wishes doing it!

[JacobJordan]

Well firstly you have shit friends. But focusing on your career rip you just set yourself into the category of "difficult to deal with in a relationship cause everything is always a struggle" it doesn't mean it actually is that is the assumed mentality of career women (and tbh it is a true assumption most of the time) the virginity however may be your saving grace but you gotta find a man stat! I also would highly advise dressing very feminine, lose the make up (yeah I said it) and avoid any places of social degeneration. Bars, clubs, etc.

[ChicoFromThe305]

There's no way it can possibly be the wrong decisions if you've stayed pure and away from the mental stress of relationships, many people mess up in life and I believe that's the part of them that's telling you that you messed up, you can't really mess up on something you refused to try on, it's like someone that crashed their car telling you that you messed up cause you refuse to drive your car, at that point there's no mess up cause you didn't even start yet, they are referring to age which that is a lie as well cause love doesn't have an age limit, the only roadblock would be maybe having children before 35 which I heard is where the defects rate goes up but if you find a guy that's serious with relationships then your purity and lack of relationship experience can only be seen as a good thing and on top of that you've accomplished your studies and things you wanted to accomplish when it comes to the build-up of your career.

[Likes2drive]

I’m sure it was actually tough staying the course and not letting relationships get in the way of your future career but you did miss out on just letting off some steam by not having sex but it does get in the way at times if it’s more than just sex, I don’t think you’ll have a problem finding anyone though and at least you won’t be a burden to someone financially since you have your stuff in order, I wish I could find someone like you but now I’m too old to find that but you’re still very young so don’t worry

[bobby_bush_eater]

There's no rule of thumb in this. You're still young. That said if you do want a family you'll have to realize as the woman and child bearer you'll have to put your career and ambition aside. You'll have to trust a man to take care of you regardless.

I think that you still being a virgin is great, if you truly are who you described here you'll have no issue finding a husband when the time finds you or you deem it right. Any man who says that's a red flag is not going to be a good father

[MrDaveAPSI]

You're not wrong for waiting. I think way too many people are having sex younger and younger, and getting PREGNANT, younger and younger but, I don't think it's wrong to wait. However, the older we get, as humans, the less fertile we are. So, if you want to have kids (I don't, I think they're vile human beings that screw up relationships), then, you'll need to start thinking about it. You're going to be 30, soon.

I'm 35 and a virgin, but, I don't want kids or marriage. I'm just waiting to fall in love with someone who wants the same

[Billlewis]

I think your best method for handling this is to keep your virginal status to yourself, and avoid mentioning it to the guys you're dating. Unless he's very straitlaced and parochial, the average guy will most likely not be overly impressed with your having been sexless for such an extended period of time. However, unless you tell him, it's unlikely that he'll ever know that his penis is the first to know the warmth and rapture of your luscious pussy.

[Berethor]

You not too old to have children so your friends are wrong, a virgin is better than a ho. :)

https://allthetropes.org/wiki/Nature_Adores_a_Virgin

[Drumlin2001]

As someone who was a 35yr old virgin I'd say you're fine and you have time. By 40 i had 2 kids and a fiancé.
But I hope you're reasons are genuine and you're not kidding yourself. A relationship will take work and you being capable of going vulnerable with someone. It's not easy. And it's easy for the years to tick by if you're not proactive

[exitseven]

You seem pretty happy with your choices and that is the most important person you have to please. You have sound reasoning and a healthy attitude.

I would rather be with somebody like you instead of a ditzy blonde with a big body count and a beat up Camaro withe the passengers seat full of fast food wrappers.

[DextroShade]

Being a virgin starts to become weird when you hit the danger zone (27-35) because men will think something is very wrong with you for wasting your best years and you can't claim to be traditional either because those women marry young. You need to prioritize finding a man NOW because your time to do so is limited and you are at a very high risk of dying alone.

[spartan55]

I had two different girlfriends when I was in my twenties... and they were both WAY more hassle than I would have thought. Say you keep waiting and meet a guy and you have sex.. sex is sometimes really disappointing... Just sayin

[spartan55]

*VIRGIN girlfriends

[boggboss]

Sounds like u have shit friends the issuebfor me wouldn't be secual expirance it would be never being in a relationship and me not wanting to deal with soem9ne who might have teen views on a relationship because they have never been in one

[Anonymous]

I hate to tell you this but your friends are whores if they believe this to be true. Guys do not think like this. Not even right thinking women think like this. Only whores think like this. A guy may curious as to why you chose to wait or why it wasn't a higher priority for you. And he may even question your commitment now because of it. But having waited also shows your strength of character and that can't be learned. Either a woman has that or she doesn't. So that's a positive thing.

[HawkPerception]

I'm also single at 30 years old. It's never too late to get married. However there is a "too late" when it comes to having kids of your own. But you're still young enough to have kids until you're like 35

[Lara_Croft]

Definitely not God ordained sex for marriage, I'm happy for you! He'll provide à husband if and when it's time