I have noticed that nowadays, most people talk about relationships in a very transactional manner. I've had a lot of my male friends tell me it bores them when the girls they try to hook up with start talking about their day, trauma, etc. I love listening to them, doesn't bother me if they're talkative, if they're attached or even jealous. I want to be madly in love, sure, sex is great, but it's not enough on its own to make me satisfied in a relationship. Is being romantic a disadvantage when you're a man? Do some girls see it as being "unmanly" I was fortunate enough to be in a relationship like this once, but only once.
If you are a romantic kinda guy and you enjoy doing romantic things for your girl, then it's best to hook up with a girl that appreciates that about you, otherwise you can't be yours true self in a relationship. I am an older woman now, but no matter what age I've been, I always love getting a bouquet of flowers, especially yellow roses. Which reminds me of my boyfriend that had the florist deliver the most beautiful bouquet of roses for me every payday. The last time he brought some home to me was a week before he died suddenly. That was just a few months ago.
My highschool boyfriend used to have the florist deliver a dozen carnations to me everytime we got in an argument - that was a lot of flowers!
I think it's romantic when a guy teaches me things. Things he enjoys doing that I don't know how. Or teaches me about historical things. Or even how to do things on the remote control that I didn't know; same with my cellphone 📱. It could be anything really as long as it doesn't bore be.
Being an older woman does not mean you're any less worthy of cherishing. In fact, I find older women much more receptive of this kind of attention on average. And let's be honest, most of you grew up in a time when romantic gestures were much more common and much more appreciated
@Comingback You're right - if your romantic gestures are not appreciated, then she's not the girl for you. So, when you go on a date, do you open the car door and other doors for her, or do you step back and just let her do it? I'm very curious about this, because I don't know what is the in this g you young people do in a situation like that.
I know one thing though, young guys, young men, older men - when they see me approach my door to be opened they do it. And I thank them and smile at them. And these are guys I don't even know. I think it's pretty cool 😎
Honestly, it depends on the girl I'm with, but generally I would do it. It's not very common anymore though, so not everyone would appreciate it, it could come off as a little over the top. But I always open doors, pull chairs, pour wine, etc
But some men don't even open doors anymore. Usually I'm met with "that's very kind, thank you" when I open the door for random strangers
it depends on gestures and a receiver. Not everyone is the same and different people like different things. Slowly explore what she likes and what she doesn't.
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
+1 y
It is, but only because most women's manipulative nature. When a man LEGITIMATELY shows his romantic side to a woman. To her it's her cue that she has her claws into him now and she can start to be more manipulative towards him. Women want men who love them, but generally only if she can CONTROL him. So generally it's counterproductive for a man to show his romantic side unbridled. Guys learn to dial it back and only give a woman just enough so she doesn't flip on him and start exploiting him.
Yes, love is primarily transactional anymore. Because love is too costly. There are far too many mines in this minefield to risk all.
If love or emotional attachment is not part of the relationship, there is simply no point in being in a relationship, when the lady across the street by the traffic lights is happy to do it for far less money and time wasted.
Opinion Owner
+1 y
No argument here. But good luck convincing people they don't need even fake love. Sometimes I don't know who these people are doing it more for. Thier tenuous grasp on reality. Or for appearances.
It's kind of... not true when you say that true love does not exist. It is simply rare. It's like saying "no one ever became rich" because you're struggling with becoming rich. But someone did, and it happens
Opinion Owner
+1 y
I don't think I ever said"true love doesn't exist". I agree it is rare, very rare. I thought we were discussing norms. True love is not the norm. And even if two people seemingly love eachother they probably have too many negative experiences to trust the other person is legit. Men and women do not think the same way. Ergo they do not view love from the same viewpoint. Even though they want the same thing at the end of the day. They bothe approach it from two different directions. So basically unless one or hopefully both surrender thier pride they'll likely never get there. And as I say. Each time you do that and FOOLISHLY do it with the wrong person. It makes it less likely you'll be willing to do it the next time.
I have never once met a girl who did not love for a guy to be romantic that they genuinely were interested in. Making the partner you are with feel special and that you care is good.
However, being romantic and clingy or desperate are separate things. Also, timing and how close you are matters too. A girl you just started dating with you shouldn't over commit to by being overly romantic. It just needs balance.
Oh, let's clear the air with a bit of love sparkle, shall we? Being romantic is not a disadvantage; in fact, it's a superpower in today's swipe-right culture. Your approach to relationships, my friend, is like a rare vintage wine in a sea of cheap soda. Some may label it as "unmanly," but let's be honest, those folks probably wouldn't know a good thing even if it came wrapped in the finest silk.
Here's the heart of it: A man who listens, truly cares, and dares to be openly romantic is a diamond in the rough. Sure, you might encounter individuals who don't appreciate this depth—they're cruising the fast lane, missing out on the scenic route of deep connection and love. So, chin up! Your sincerity and desire for a meaningful relationship are not weaknesses; they're strengths that will lead you to someone who cherishes them as much as you do.
Remember, it's not about being madly in love; it's about being healthily in love—where mutual respect, understanding, and true connection flourish. And who wouldn't want to fall head over heels for that? Keep spreading that love, my friend; the world (and the right partner) will thank you for it. 😉✨
It's good to be romantic, but you can't just let the romantic part of you make all the decisions. Real life has real consequences, and society heavily favors women in such matters, so you have to be smart, you have to protect yourself, and you need to understand how relationship dynamics work TODAY, which is not at all how they used to work.
You have to vet every potential girlfriend, focusing on her morals, values, and life goals. Resist the urge to rush or get too invested until you have vetted her, because that's better for both of you. Once you are satisfied with the vetting process, and haven't found any major red flags, THEN you can let the romantic side of you out more. And you will know it will be appreciated and respected.
There is a huge advantage to being a romantic dude. Finding a woman that is decent. Not too many hoes out there are looking for soft music, candle lit dinners, and snuggling on the couch while watching a chic flick. You have a better chance with her keeping you around it you are just as decent.
If you find a good woman it is a big advantage. My problem is my wife doesn't like chocolate and thinks flowers is a waste of money so I have to be creative. Fortunately, she thinks its romantic when I bring her a cup of coffee and we drink coffee together in the morning on weekends or when we cook together.
The whole question assumes that there's already a woman interested in you though. If you're romantic from the get go, it will come off as rather insecensire and desperate.
Being romantic is not unmanly. Being romantic shows confidence with yourself. Being romantic and being a simp are not the same thing. Being romantic and showing your love doesn't make you weak. Being weak makes you weak. Being romantic doesn't make you "pussy whipped". Being pussy whipped makes you pussy whipped.
You can totally be romantic and earn a woman's respect as a man. When a woman respects you as a man, you are doing something right.
I feel you on wanting to be madly in love.. That's what I want as well.. Never been there.. But I would say for the most part.. Yeah probably, if you don't know how to navigate that romance to a woman who would appreciate it, or just come on too strong for it too soon.
I don't mind it. I don't do it often. But calling her out of the blue to let her know how much you love her, sending flowers to her workplace. A little gift every now and then and she'll be all over you.
You're mixing up what the modern man wants vs what the modern woman wants. Most of us love romance. And the fact that a lot of men have given up at that means you're a pretty sought after person in the dating pool. Definitely not a disadvantage 😄
It can involve spending lots of money, so, if you're "just trying to be romantic just to get in her pants", it wouldn't be a good idea, sex isn't OWED to anyone.
However, if you're truly a romantic, with no ulterior motives, then no, of course not
Simple. If she is into you she will love the romantic gestures. If she is not or borderline, romantic gestures are her green light to friend zone you and use you.
100% this. Or she'll think you're a creep. Always remember the first rule: be attractive. And the second rule: don't be unattractive.
If she's attracted to you, just about anything romantic you do will be viewed enthusiastically. If she's not attracted to you, then you're a pervy loser. Women are that juvenile.
There is more to it than this. If you're too romantic from the very first time you meet, it'll come off as very incensincere, like someone who is too overtly friendly without anything to justify it. Most men are too romantic in the beginning and once they get into a relationship or a marriage, change their behavior
It is no so much about being earned as getting in contact with the right man. Let's be honest, most people, be they male or female, are not so romantic. Romance was once a big thing, especially from the late 19th to late 20th century, but it came to be less popular and more "cringy" as time went by.
This conclusion makes sense on the surface, but once you dig deeper, it absolutely isn't true. We like to think, that people somehow determine their own fate, that women chose that feminism be born, and so it was. But that's simply not true. Feminism, the sexual revolution, counterculture, are all logical consequences of industrialisation, it was bound to happen. The only countries that haven't been affected by feminism today are 3rd world countries, for a reason.
Not necessarily, All communists are feminists but not all feminists are communist. 1st wave American feminists weren't communists. In fact, corporations did more to embolden feminism than any communists. Women's labor was needed both during the world wars and peacetime. Women always worked, in pre-industrial times they worked on their family's land and in agriculture. The industrial revolution meant that Women must have some independence to be able to work, now under their patrons. Economic expansion made people's lives more comfortable, and free speech and freedom of religion in America eventually lead to the sexual revolution. It's a logical sequence of events. Women decided nothing, it was bound to happen. Democracy or no democracy, people decide nothing.
What movement isn't collective? Any movement is collective to some degree, you could say that the American revolution was communist by this logic, it was a collective action taken by American colonists...
Women didn't give women the right to vote, it was men who did so, politicians, lobbied by corporations, because it benefited both. It was bound to happen, but also bound to be reversed at some point. This period of extreme liberalism will be followed by a conservative resurgence. It's already happening.
Most likely. In America, there will most likely be some level of instability, I don't think it would be a full-blown Civil War, but definitely instability. In Europe, it's either going to be a right wing takeover or the emergence of a new religion (most likely Islam)
I feel like being romantic never really got me anywhere closer to a girl chicks seem to be attracted to dudes who show too much emotion, that's the sense I made out of it but not much I do makes sense lol
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
You got to find someone that thinks like you. Don't go for the women that want one night stands. They couldn't care less about you.
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